Jingle Bells
My cell smells
It's gloomy and its rank
I only pissed some Muslims off
Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey

Jingle Bells
This is hell
I don't think it's funny
The Rochdale Herald sponsored me
And are collecting lots of money. Hey.

Sitting in my cell
I'm lonely in the dark
I should be in a pub
Or walking in a park. Hey.
Don't they know my name
I'm Britain First's (ex)-boss
Now I have to cry alone
For entering a mosque

*Repeat first two verses