Man kills woman
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman
This article...
‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...
News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...
Man beaten white and gold by the Police
We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable.
What follows is some made...
Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...
999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’
A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...
Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star
News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
A Mexican man...
MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.
The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...
Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar
Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...
Police call time on sex pests
Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today.
The new devices...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.
Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
