Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Brexiters boycott Tesco over sale of Remain Lettuce
Thousands of patriots across the length and breadth of Britain called for a 'complete boycott', of supermarkets, after it turned out a Tesco's store...
Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017
Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...
New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
Flag Furore as Fans Face Fines
An entire street on Rochdale's Newbold estate was threatened with fines on Monday - if they refuse to remove a multitude of flags from...
Rochdale worries as EU funding crisis hits Cornish supply chain
Mark Duddridge, chairman of the Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Local Enterprise Partnership, has said he wants a guarantee from the UK Government that...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
Former President of Gambia applies for Argos security guard position
After decades of ruling over Gambia, dictator Yahya Jammeh has recently lost an election to Adama Barrow who, amazingly, used to be a north...
KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa
The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...
You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...
It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
We need another meeting to discuss this meeting
The Rochdale Global Enterprises' operations and functions sub-committee concluded yesterday that a further meeting was needed before its next meeting on Tuesday week.
The RGEOFSC...
