Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday
Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...
Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Toys ‘R’ Us to rebrand as Sex Toys ‘R’ Us to avoid looming bankruptcy
The giant toy retailer has recently filed for bankruptcy protection in the US and Cananda after massive losses to rivals such as Amazon and...
Southern Rail Boss to get by on £3,000,000 salary to show solidarity with commuters
David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today...
ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019.
The decision...
Facebook will always be free for students, promises Nick Clegg
Following the news that Nick Clegg has been hired by Facebook it has been announced that the platform will absolutely, definitely, always be free...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...
It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
EXCLUSIVE: Herald gets new iPhone info before the world’s press
Today The Rochdale Herald has been a buzz all day with the news that we have a world exclusive about the new release from...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
Austerity horror as Samantha Cameron admits to sending her cook to Aldi
Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi.
And it gets...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
