Poundland to rebrand as Two Poundland by March 2017
Exciting news on the High Street as budget retailer Poundland announces a multi-million pound rebranding initiative.
Halcyon Days Here to Stay
Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is...
Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man
Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...
Supermarkets Brexit crisis as panic buyers hoard essentials
?Staff arriving for work at the new Rochdale Waitrose were surprised to find a car park full of Range Rovers and a queue of concerned...
Hot Deals in Rochdale Black Friday Price Crash! – Don’t miss out!
Rochdale is going nuts this Friday with MEGA DEALS accross the town centre. Grab a bargain, they're giving it away.
LITERALLY!
-Head down to your local...
Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania
Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...
Ryanair confirm passengers to fly planes from 2020
Troubled budget airline Ryanair today announced plans to ease their ongoing pilot strike issues by confirming they will now charge customers to fly their...
Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug
Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock.
Mary...
Former President of Gambia applies for Argos security guard position
After decades of ruling over Gambia, dictator Yahya Jammeh has recently lost an election to Adama Barrow who, amazingly, used to be a north...
Strangeways to send its wardens to JD Sports Warehouse for’retraining’
Inspired by an undercover report on working practises at the JD Sports Warehouse in Rochdale, the Governor of HMP Prison Manchester, Dave Morrisey, had...
Theresa May outraged over plans to drop Great from Great Britain
Chocolatiers are responding to Theresa May's ire this afternoon after "Great" was dropped from "Great Britain " in a number of confectionary products.
From now...
85% Of Waitrose Customers Horrified To Learn It Is A Workers’ Collective
Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective.
Eric Pode (40),...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Middle East Side Story
A controversial piece of performance theatre is set to premiere at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre shortly before Christmas this year:
Director Sheldon Jervis announced plans...
Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name
It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...
Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note
In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...
