Blindfold Car Boot Sale

You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...

17
It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
Royal Mail

Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas

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As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...

British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain

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Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...

HS2 to be built by immigrants

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The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct  HS2. Prospective workers...

Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service

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There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.

Strangeways to send its wardens to JD Sports Warehouse for’retraining’

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Inspired by an undercover report on working practises at the JD Sports Warehouse in Rochdale, the Governor of HMP Prison Manchester, Dave Morrisey, had...

“I Can’t Wipe My Arse With New £Fiver” Say Tory Chair Lord Bastard

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New Prime Minister Teresa May has had a sensational bust-up with party Chairman - Lord Bastard of Hubris - over the new £5 note....

ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity

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ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.

Emergency shadow cabinet meeting called following shock resignation of Shadow Culture Secretary Adnan Khan

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Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary. Corbyn's press secretary...

Rochdale Banking Firm NM Rothschild and Sons Hail Brexit Vote as a “victory for...

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Billionaire currency traders were jubilant after night of uncertainty saw the pound tumble to a 31 year low after reaching a five year high...

KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa

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The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...

Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note

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In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...

Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017

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Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...

Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...

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Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

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A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...
Bearded hipster coffee

Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat

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A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...

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