ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite
Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging...
Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat
A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...
Cathedral City Cheddar not the best cheddar ‘just fucking unavoidable’ say consumers
According to consumers in Rochdale Cathedral City Cheddar is not the best cheddar, it’s just completely unavoidable.
A survey of all of the fridges in...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
DFS sale finally over
After 51 years, the DFS sale has finally come to an end.
With the news from Prime Minister Boris Johnson that the UK has effectively...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Fine isn’t a problem as we don’t pay tax says Vodafone
Vodafone chief executive Nick Jeffrey has apologised to customers for its poor service after being fined £4.6 million by OFCOM.
Mr Jeffrey said the fine...
This Generation of British Bulldogs could be the last
In an astonishing move by the Kennel Club, the standards committee has released a press statement saying that if Britain decides to stay within...
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Rochdale Banking Firm NM Rothschild and Sons Hail Brexit Vote as a “victory for...
Billionaire currency traders were jubilant after night of uncertainty saw the pound tumble to a 31 year low after reaching a five year high...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
