Kent Experiencing Building Boom
Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during...
Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note
In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
People urged to buy nuclear submarines to boost jobs in Barrow
People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness.
The call comes on...
Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...
Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Social Media punishing the pound in Postal workers pockets
With the rise and rise of Facebook, E-Cards and Internet banking the way we celebrate important events with family and friends is fast changing.
Nowadays...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
Pensioners with British Gas look forward to choosing between freezing and starving to death...
"My pension didn't cover the old price. In fact, the only reason I didn't freeze to death last year is because I was able to burn all the ‘late Payment’ notices that British Gas kept sending out"
New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service
There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.
Sports Direct CEO burns millions of pounds in front of staff
Self assured fuck nugget Mike Ashley, CEO of Sports Direct, pulled the idiotic stunt at one of his sweat shops earlier today.
Keith Stitcher, a...
Fine isn’t a problem as we don’t pay tax says Vodafone
Vodafone chief executive Nick Jeffrey has apologised to customers for its poor service after being fined £4.6 million by OFCOM.
Mr Jeffrey said the fine...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
