This Generation of British Bulldogs could be the last
In an astonishing move by the Kennel Club, the standards committee has released a press statement saying that if Britain decides to stay within...
“I Can’t Wipe My Arse With New £Fiver” Say Tory Chair Lord Bastard
New Prime Minister Teresa May has had a sensational bust-up with party Chairman - Lord Bastard of Hubris - over the new £5 note....
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company
The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns
Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks
Administrators have taken...
British Gas CEO insists he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm
The CEO of British Gas, Sir Mork Lodges, has advised today he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm.
The statement comes on the...
British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain
Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...
As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Rochdale letting agency wins top award.
A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.
The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
