Local luxury goods firm goes bust
High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign.
Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...
Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat
A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...
We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...
A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious.
'The...
Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?
Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...
Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
Social Media punishing the pound in Postal workers pockets
With the rise and rise of Facebook, E-Cards and Internet banking the way we celebrate important events with family and friends is fast changing.
Nowadays...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Greggs is not for us; says Jersey
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us
German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October...
Kentucky Fried Chicken unaffected by chicken shortage, thousands of cats reported missing
KFC has opened more of its outlets in the UK despite running completely out of chicken.
We need another meeting to discuss this meeting
The Rochdale Global Enterprises' operations and functions sub-committee concluded yesterday that a further meeting was needed before its next meeting on Tuesday week.
The RGEOFSC...
KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa
The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...
Waterstones moves post-apocalyptic fiction to current affairs section
In a statement today, popular British high street book retailer Waterstones announced all books with post-apocalyptic themes will be moved to the current affairs...
Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement
Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...
Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
People urged to buy nuclear submarines to boost jobs in Barrow
People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness.
The call comes on...
