Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets

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Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...

Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop

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 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...

Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

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Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...
Vodafone

Fine isn’t a problem as we don’t pay tax says Vodafone

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Vodafone chief executive Nick Jeffrey has apologised to customers for its poor service after being fined £4.6 million by OFCOM. Mr Jeffrey said the fine...

Sports Direct CEO burns millions of pounds in front of staff

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Self assured fuck nugget Mike Ashley, CEO of Sports Direct, pulled the idiotic stunt at one of his sweat shops earlier today. Keith Stitcher, a...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

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Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...

Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land

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At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...

New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...

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Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner. As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

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HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Chocolate

Theresa May outraged over plans to drop Great from Great Britain

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Chocolatiers are responding to Theresa May's ire this afternoon after "Great" was dropped from "Great Britain " in a number of confectionary products. From now...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Tesco Express

Brexiters boycott Tesco over sale of Remain Lettuce

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Thousands of patriots across the length and breadth of Britain called for a 'complete boycott', of supermarkets, after it turned out a Tesco's store...

Kent Experiencing Building Boom

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Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...

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