Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man
Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...
Vodafone Win Bid to Buy Eiffel Tower
Vodafone has won a bid to convert the iconic Eiffel Tower into a transmission mast, it has emerged.
The telecommunications giant secured the deal for...
Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop
In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
Global economy near collapse after George Osborne pulls sickie
It has been revealed that once George Osborne takes up his post as Editor of the London Evening Standard, his importance to the global...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot
The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...
A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious.
'The...
Gavin Williamson to join Facebook as head of privacy
Facebook has hired former Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson as head of its global privacy and secret keeping team.
The 42-year-old politician former UK Defence Secretary,...
iPhone users left feeling cheated
Thousands of iPhone users around the globe were left feeling cheated this week as they eagerly awaited news of the latest model from technology...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
Cathedral City Cheddar not the best cheddar ‘just fucking unavoidable’ say consumers
According to consumers in Rochdale Cathedral City Cheddar is not the best cheddar, it’s just completely unavoidable.
A survey of all of the fridges in...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday
Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
