Greggs is not for us; says Jersey

1
Pasty super chain and northern nutrition giant Greggs is to close its doors in the tax haven of Jersey after just 18 months of...
Brexit Easter Eggs

Mixed Reviews for Brexit Easter Eggs

0
The government’s official Brexit Easter Eggs have been flying off the shelves this week but many consumers have been left disappointed. Betty Roffin of Rochdale...

Middle East Side Story

0
A controversial piece of performance theatre is set to premiere at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre shortly before Christmas this year: Director Sheldon Jervis announced plans...

Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Plain wooden coffin

Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy

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Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services. Although ATOS, the...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

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Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...

Southern Rail Boss to get by on £3,000,000 salary to show solidarity with commuters 

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David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today...
Businessman

Nationalisation doesn’t work, says firm making millions out of Privatisation

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Business - Residents left worried by the collapse of Carillion and ensuing loss of local services have been given the news by local MP...

LIDL opens second till

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As panic buying continues, one branch of LIDL has opened a second till. Regional Manager Labia McKenzie, 17, said "We've taken the drastic measure of...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

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Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

Global economy near collapse after George Osborne pulls sickie

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It has been revealed that once George Osborne takes up his post as Editor of the London Evening Standard, his importance to the global...
Lego logo

Lego let go of Trump

5
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this...

New Voting System Ticks All The Wrong Boxes

1
More controversy engulfed Rochdale Borough Council today as councillors in Rochdale's Labour run Balderstone and Kirkholt ward rolled out their new voting initiative just one...

eBay To Close Sundays 

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The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...

Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns

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Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks Administrators have taken...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...

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