Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
Banks Punish Entrepreneurs For Brexit
Our Finance and Business correspondent, Scott Zsalt, was livid today after failing to get support from a major bank due to the fallout from...
RBS announces plan to rebrand as The Money Pit
The Royal Bank of Scotland has today announced losses of 7 billion pounds in the fiscal year of 2016.
The Bank has been running at...
LIDL opens second till
As panic buying continues, one branch of LIDL has opened a second till.
Regional Manager Labia McKenzie, 17, said "We've taken the drastic measure of...
Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...
Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Phil Spencer really was a Secret Agent
In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as...
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Halcyon Days Here to Stay
Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is...
Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward
It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
British economy under pressure as threat of Nuclear Armageddon puts weekly ‘Big Shop’ In...
Rochdale housewife Vicky Lucas has revealed the dichotomy she faces over her usual Saturday trip to Asda.
"Normally I'd go and do my 'big shop'...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Pensioners with British Gas look forward to choosing between freezing and starving to death...
"My pension didn't cover the old price. In fact, the only reason I didn't freeze to death last year is because I was able to burn all the ‘late Payment’ notices that British Gas kept sending out"
