Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land

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At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except...

New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...

13
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner. As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

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HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...

Emergency shadow cabinet meeting called following shock resignation of Shadow Culture Secretary Adnan Khan

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Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary. Corbyn's press secretary...
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us

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German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October...

eBay To Close Sundays 

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The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...

Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...

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Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Big Shop

British economy under pressure as threat of Nuclear Armageddon puts weekly ‘Big Shop’ In...

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Rochdale housewife Vicky Lucas has revealed the dichotomy she faces over her usual Saturday trip to Asda. "Normally I'd go and do my 'big shop'...
Tax avoidance Tax reform

Major newspapers not really committed to calling for reform of tax avoidance system for...

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The readership of Britain's newspapers say they're confused that the papers aren't being more assertive in calling for tax reform. Right wing press connoisseur, Cliff...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017

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Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...
hummus

Northern supermarket to trial hummus

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News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021. It is thought that...
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

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An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Man Shop

Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite

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Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging...

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