Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”

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UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

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Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...

Rochdale letting agency wins top award. 

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A prestigious national industry award has been won by local letting agents Fyre, Trappe and Hassel.   The British Association of Letting Agencies awarded the...
Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

0
As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...

IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range

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Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...

Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.

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British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Cyclist

New guy at work definitely up to something

13
Employees from a Rochdale conservatory company have been explaining how a new employee is definitely up to something. Simon Simpson started on Monday and...

British Company Based In Britain Backs Britain

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Brexiters across the land are jubilantly crying "We told you so!" after GlaxoSmithKline, a UK company, based in the UK, that wanted the UK...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

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International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Eclipse

Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse

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Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...

Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.

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Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS. The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

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The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate

1
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded. The gazillionaire, famous...

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