Scandal as Corbyn in the pocket of big elbow-patch manufacturing
Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
Flag Furore as Fans Face Fines
An entire street on Rochdale's Newbold estate was threatened with fines on Monday - if they refuse to remove a multitude of flags from...
Cathedral City Cheddar not the best cheddar ‘just fucking unavoidable’ say consumers
According to consumers in Rochdale Cathedral City Cheddar is not the best cheddar, it’s just completely unavoidable.
A survey of all of the fridges in...
Homeless virgin gives birth in Britannia Hotel car park after being told no room...
News is coming in that a homeless virgin has given birth to a baby boy in the car park of the Royal Hull Hotel...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa
The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...
“I Can’t Wipe My Arse With New £Fiver” Say Tory Chair Lord Bastard
New Prime Minister Teresa May has had a sensational bust-up with party Chairman - Lord Bastard of Hubris - over the new £5 note....
Supermarkets Brexit crisis as panic buyers hoard essentials
?Staff arriving for work at the new Rochdale Waitrose were surprised to find a car park full of Range Rovers and a queue of concerned...
Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017
Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...
People urged to buy nuclear submarines to boost jobs in Barrow
People are being urged to buy nuclear submarines as part of a strategy to reduce the effects of poverty in Barrow-in-Furness.
The call comes on...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service
There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.
Global Markets panic as #BoycottEverything goes viral on Twitter
Capitalism is on the verge of a complete irreversible collapse top Economists revealed today with the entire system due to crash, burn, explode and...
