Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post

4
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system. Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald; "It's the...

Diane Abbott quits shadow cabinet to be the new face of Soul Glo

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Diane Abbott has shocked the nation by resigning from the shadow cabinet days before election week in order to be the new face of Soul...
Liam Fox

Liam Fox signs first trade agreement with Mexican Cartel to import 1,000 tons of...

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The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain. The historic...

Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin

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Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU. The news comes after...

Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company

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The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.

Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...

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Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list. "It's been a...
refrigerator

Sales of refrigerators tumble due to British Gas price hike

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This week brought the news that British Gas are set to raise their prices again, effecting millions of loyal customers. This move will likely see...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

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Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of...
Electric Shock

Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss

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The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
99p store

Brawl sparked by £1 price tag in 99p store

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A complaint about a price tag in Rochdale’s flagship 99p Store escalated into an unseemly brawl, causing damage estimated at £56.43. Rochdale Magistrates’ Court heard...

Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets

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Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...

Royal Doulton to produce commemorative Alex Salmond Toby Jug 

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The iconic British pottery company which was established in 1815 made the announcement yesterday. Managing Director, Timothy Clay, said; "Toby Jugs were always a popular item...

Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday

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Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...

Sports Direct CEO burns millions of pounds in front of staff

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Self assured fuck nugget Mike Ashley, CEO of Sports Direct, pulled the idiotic stunt at one of his sweat shops earlier today. Keith Stitcher, a...

Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us

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German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October...

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