Middle class first time buyers struggling to afford luxury and luxury homes
Middle class first time buyers are up in arms over house prices this week as the housing market continued to slow while the price...
Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service
Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
Rochdale boss dresses down staff after casual Friday turns Nazi
The age old question of trying to persuade employees to continue to care about work on a Friday has vexed employers for decades. A...
Local luxury goods firm goes bust
High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign.
Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...
Homeless virgin gives birth in Britannia Hotel car park after being told no room...
News is coming in that a homeless virgin has given birth to a baby boy in the car park of the Royal Hull Hotel...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.
As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.
Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS.
The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...
Emergency shadow cabinet meeting called following shock resignation of Shadow Culture Secretary Adnan Khan
Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary.
Corbyn's press secretary...
Northern supermarket to trial hummus
News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021.
It is thought that...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Scandal as Corbyn in the pocket of big elbow-patch manufacturing
Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been...
Surprise as men who rigged Tesco milk prices also rigged share prices
Three Tesco directors are in court on fraud charges. The food-fancying fanatic (alleged) fraudsters have, it seems, been cooking the books as well as...
Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas
As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...
