Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017
Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...
Co-worker with ‘resting bitch-face’ actually really nice
We all fear change in Rochdale especially when we meet new people and feel the tension building as we force small talk.
One local...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday
Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
Poundland to rebrand as Two Poundland by March 2017
Exciting news on the High Street as budget retailer Poundland announces a multi-million pound rebranding initiative.
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Rochdale Set to Become Major Irony Exporter
The irony mining industry in Rochdale, previously in serious decline, received a massive boost yesterday following the result of the US Presidential elections.
Irony is...
Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die
Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness.
"A bad...
Rochdale Banking Firm NM Rothschild and Sons Hail Brexit Vote as a “victory for...
Billionaire currency traders were jubilant after night of uncertainty saw the pound tumble to a 31 year low after reaching a five year high...
Mixed Reviews for Brexit Easter Eggs
The government’s official Brexit Easter Eggs have been flying off the shelves this week but many consumers have been left disappointed.
Betty Roffin of Rochdale...
Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!
A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...
Liam Fox signs first trade agreement with Mexican Cartel to import 1,000 tons of...
The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain.
The historic...
Kent Experiencing Building Boom
Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during...
Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Piers and many other...
Scandal as Corbyn in the pocket of big elbow-patch manufacturing
Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been...
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
