Southern Rail Boss to get by on £3,000,000 salary to show solidarity with commuters 

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David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today...

“I Can’t Wipe My Arse With New £Fiver” Say Tory Chair Lord Bastard

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New Prime Minister Teresa May has had a sensational bust-up with party Chairman - Lord Bastard of Hubris - over the new £5 note....

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

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HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Samantha Cameron

Austerity horror as Samantha Cameron admits to sending her cook to Aldi

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Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi. And it gets...
Ryanair

Ryanair confirm passengers to fly planes from 2020

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Troubled budget airline Ryanair today announced plans to ease their ongoing pilot strike issues by confirming they will now charge customers to fly their...

Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement

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Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...

Waitrose appoint new Head of Egg Hiding

9
Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding. Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop...

Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers

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The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Office Workers

Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’

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An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...

KPMG look for pension fund down the back of their sofa

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The Senior Outsourcing Revenue Maximisation Vice President for KPMG, the 'big four?' auditor under fire for signing off Carillion's accounts months before its collapse,...

Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company

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The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Gavin Williamson to join Facebook as head of privacy

Facebook has hired former Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson as head of its global privacy and secret keeping team. The 42-year-old politician former UK Defence Secretary,...

Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.

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Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS. The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

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Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...

Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell

It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...

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