If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Electric Shock

Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss

2
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
Bearded hipster coffee

Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat

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A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...
Baby seal

Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.

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The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...
hummus

Northern supermarket to trial hummus

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News is breaking that a well-known northern supermarket is to start selling hummus at some stores at some point in 2021. It is thought that...

Heck release new range of Boris Johnson porky pies

Sausage giant Heck has hosted giant sausage Boris Johnson at their Yorkshire factory for the unveiling of their latest new product. The Boris Johnson Heck...

Amnesty International condemn plans to open JD Sports Warehouse on Guantanamo Bay

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Amnesty International have written a strongly worded letter to the shareholders of JD Sports and the CIA urging them not to open a warehouse...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Tesco Express

Brexiters boycott Tesco over sale of Remain Lettuce

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Thousands of patriots across the length and breadth of Britain called for a 'complete boycott', of supermarkets, after it turned out a Tesco's store...

Surprise as men who rigged Tesco milk prices also rigged share prices

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Three Tesco directors are in court on fraud charges. The food-fancying fanatic (alleged) fraudsters have, it seems, been cooking the books as well as...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

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The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

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A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...

University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.

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As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

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  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

EXCLUSIVE: Herald gets new iPhone info before the world’s press

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Today The Rochdale Herald has been a buzz all day with the news that we have a world exclusive about the new release from...

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