University of Burnley to offer a degree course in Fruit Picking.

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As part of the government's recently launched Fu*k Business initiative, the University of Burnley is offering a 5 Year degree course in fruit picking,...

Royal Doulton to produce commemorative Alex Salmond Toby Jug 

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The iconic British pottery company which was established in 1815 made the announcement yesterday. Managing Director, Timothy Clay, said; "Toby Jugs were always a popular item...
Plain wooden coffin

Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy

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Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services. Although ATOS, the...
Del Monte

Man from Del Monte faces deportation

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Amber Rudd has confirmed that the Man from Del Monte is to be deported. The man who arrived in the UK in the 1980's recently...

Corbyn appoints Rochdale local musician Adnan Khan Shadow Culture Secretary

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After a turbulent day for Jeremy Corbyn, things could be looking up as he adds a Rochdale superstar to his new cabinet.Rochdale's answer to...

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

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The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

Amnesty International condemn plans to open JD Sports Warehouse on Guantanamo Bay

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Amnesty International have written a strongly worded letter to the shareholders of JD Sports and the CIA urging them not to open a warehouse...

Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar

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Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...

Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well

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Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...

Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...

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The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading. Founded in...
Bank entrance

Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test

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Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...

Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...

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Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Chocolate

Theresa May outraged over plans to drop Great from Great Britain

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Chocolatiers are responding to Theresa May's ire this afternoon after "Great" was dropped from "Great Britain " in a number of confectionary products. From now...
Rubbing Hands Together

British Gas CEO insists he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm

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The CEO of British Gas, Sir Mork Lodges, has advised today he’s only rubbing his hands together to keep warm. The statement comes on the...

Middle class first time buyers struggling to afford luxury and luxury homes

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Middle class first time buyers are up in arms over house prices this week as the housing market continued to slow while the price...
Drug paraphernalia

Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users

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A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver. Nathan...

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