Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again

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People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago. Stan...
Big Shop

British economy under pressure as threat of Nuclear Armageddon puts weekly ‘Big Shop’ In...

0
Rochdale housewife Vicky Lucas has revealed the dichotomy she faces over her usual Saturday trip to Asda. "Normally I'd go and do my 'big shop'...
Bank of England

Remain Voter Desperately Waiting for Pound to Die

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Due to an almost pathological desire to be proven correct, a Remain voter is obsessively checking the sterling exchange rate for signs of terminal illness. "A bad...

Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note

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In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...

Sources say DFS might be having a sale IMMINENTLY

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If you want a new sofa, pay attention, because this could save you literally some pounds. In an exclusive scoop, The Rochdale Herald can reveal...

Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot

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The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
McDonald's

Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states

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Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...

Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop

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 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
Cyclist

New guy at work definitely up to something

13
Employees from a Rochdale conservatory company have been explaining how a new employee is definitely up to something. Simon Simpson started on Monday and...
Samantha Cameron

Austerity horror as Samantha Cameron admits to sending her cook to Aldi

24
Samantha Cameron has triggered an outpouring of concern this morning with the revelation that she has had to send cook to Aldi. And it gets...
Survivor

Last PPI claimant found alive and well

2
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.  After years of...
Ryanair

Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes

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Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...

Rochdale Set to Become Major Irony Exporter

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The irony mining industry in Rochdale, previously in serious decline, received a massive boost yesterday following the result of the US Presidential elections. Irony is...

HS2 to be built by immigrants

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The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct  HS2. Prospective workers...

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