New £50 note to be made of foie gras
In a surprise move, it was revealed today that the new £50 note is to be made of foie gras. The announcement comes as...
Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool
Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
Nigerian Prince perplexed no one wants free money
Prince Terry Ojukwu III, of Nigeria, recently ran into financial difficulties when his bank fell into administration, leaving him just 24 hours to withdraw...
Ugly scenes in Rochdale Waitrose as champagne socialists panic buy Brie and Balsamic Vinegar
Things took a turn for the decidedly unpleasant at the plush new Waitrose store in Rochdale's upmarket Shawclough Road area this afternoon as a...
President Trump launches Ivanka’s exclusive Hello Pussy lingerie line during talks with Japanese Prime...
Reading aloud small words from a Steve Bannon script, President Trump welcomed Prime Minister of Japan, Shinzo Abe, to the famous White House.
After he...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania
Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...
Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’
An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...
Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service
There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.
Theresa May outraged over plans to drop Great from Great Britain
Chocolatiers are responding to Theresa May's ire this afternoon after "Great" was dropped from "Great Britain " in a number of confectionary products.
From now...
Halcyon Days Here to Stay
Alexander Boris de Pfeffle Johnson won't even be declared as head of the Tory Party until the needless sham of a leadership election is...
Diane Abbott quits shadow cabinet to be the new face of Soul Glo
Diane Abbott has shocked the nation by resigning from the shadow cabinet days before election week in order to be the new face of Soul...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
