Big Shop

British economy under pressure as threat of Nuclear Armageddon puts weekly ‘Big Shop’ In...

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Rochdale housewife Vicky Lucas has revealed the dichotomy she faces over her usual Saturday trip to Asda. "Normally I'd go and do my 'big shop'...

4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays

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HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Man Shop

Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite

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Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

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Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...
Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

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As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...

British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...

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Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...

Former President of Gambia applies for Argos security guard position

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After decades of ruling over Gambia, dictator Yahya Jammeh has recently lost an election to Adama Barrow who, amazingly, used to be a north...

Global Markets panic as #BoycottEverything goes viral on Twitter

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Capitalism is on the verge of a complete irreversible collapse top Economists revealed today with the entire system due to crash, burn, explode and...

Burger King announce 126oz Presidential Milkshake for Trump visit

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Popular scarfing establishment Burger King has announced a new super-sized 126 ounce milkshake, to be released on Jun 2nd in time for the visit...

Waitrose Launch Free From Flavour and Common Sense Range in London Stores

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Waitrose are launching a range of food that will taste of nothing and cost "shit-loads more" in their London stores. Quentin Danvers, Head of Pretentious...
Ryanair

Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes

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Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...

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