Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

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As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...
Vegan woman

Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes

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Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

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  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...

Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

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A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5...
Whiskey

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

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Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company...

Apple to move to Battersea iStation

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Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

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Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

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Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...

RBS announces plan to rebrand as The Money Pit

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The Royal Bank of Scotland has today announced losses of 7 billion pounds in the fiscal year of 2016. The Bank has been running at...
Nick Clegg

Facebook will always be free for students, promises Nick Clegg

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Following the news that Nick Clegg has been hired by Facebook it has been announced that the platform will absolutely, definitely, always be free...
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

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An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...

Sun exposes Cable as Strawberry fool

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Liberal democrat leadership candidate "SIR" Vince Cable has been left looking a plum strawberry fool after his claim that Britain was running out of...

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