Kent Experiencing Building Boom

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Leaked document reveals the Government has begun a refit of four derelict seaside hotels in Kent for use as internment camps housing dissenters during...

No Plans For Apple Tax to Just Rest in Irish Account 

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The Irish government and their opposition are in agreement that they shouldn't have to tax corporations after an EU court suggested that perhaps Ireland...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

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Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...

Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore

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A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...

Waitrose appoint new Head of Egg Hiding

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Supermarket giant Waitrose today announced the appointment of Alex Bell as the new Head of Egg Hiding. Proudly the UK market leader in un-helpful shop...

Cricketers auctioned off to fund the NHS.

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Protesters have accused Westminster of 'human trafficking' to fund the NHS. The government has moved quickly to deny accusations that they are selling off Britain's...
Blindfold Car Boot Sale

You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...

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It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.
Eclipse

Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse

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Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
99p store

Brawl sparked by £1 price tag in 99p store

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A complaint about a price tag in Rochdale’s flagship 99p Store escalated into an unseemly brawl, causing damage estimated at £56.43. Rochdale Magistrates’ Court heard...

Middle East Side Story

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A controversial piece of performance theatre is set to premiere at Rochdale's Gracie Fields Theatre shortly before Christmas this year: Director Sheldon Jervis announced plans...

Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin

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Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU. The news comes after...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

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Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the...

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