Controversy Rages Over New Polymer Five Pound Note

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In one month's time, the Bank Of England will roll out the new polymer five pound banknote, replacing and ultimately phasing out the familiar...

Sports Direct worker in critical condition after selling bag for life and giant mug

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Medics were today called to Sports Direct at the Kingsway Shopping Centre in Rochdale after a member of the till staff collapsed in shock. Mary...

Heck release new range of Boris Johnson porky pies

Sausage giant Heck has hosted giant sausage Boris Johnson at their Yorkshire factory for the unveiling of their latest new product. The Boris Johnson Heck...
Eclipse

Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse

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Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...

Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...

Florence and the McMachine

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McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values

Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well

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Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...

Gavin Williamson to join Facebook as head of privacy

Facebook has hired former Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson as head of its global privacy and secret keeping team. The 42-year-old politician former UK Defence Secretary,...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Surprise as men who rigged Tesco milk prices also rigged share prices

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Three Tesco directors are in court on fraud charges. The food-fancying fanatic (alleged) fraudsters have, it seems, been cooking the books as well as...
Blindfold Car Boot Sale

You’re more likely to find nice top at car boot sale wearing blindfold than...

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It turns out that you’re more likely to find something that fits if you close your eyes and dig around in a skip or the boot of a stranger’s car than at TK Maxx.

The Shard ‘nearly finished’

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The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers. Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...

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