Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

0
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...

Phil Spencer really was a Secret Agent

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In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as...
Court

Ginsters Sue Ginsters over Ginsters Name

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It has emerged that pastry-based, snack purveyors Ginsters have taken to the courts. They aim to prevent a social movement off-shoot from adopting their...

Banks Punish Entrepreneurs For Brexit

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Our Finance and Business correspondent, Scott Zsalt, was livid today after failing to get support from a major bank due to the fallout from...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

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International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+

0
Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our...

Florence and the McMachine

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McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values

Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin

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Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU. The news comes after...

Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post

4
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system. Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald; "It's the...
Liam Fox

Liam Fox signs first trade agreement with Mexican Cartel to import 1,000 tons of...

14
The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain. The historic...
Bearded hipster coffee

Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat

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A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...

This Generation of British Bulldogs could be the last

2
In an astonishing move by the Kennel Club, the standards committee has released a press statement saying that if Britain decides to stay within...

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