Retire in 5 years with JuicelifeHealthwonder!

A couple from Rochdale insist that the multi level marketing scheme they're pushing is not a scam and that anybody can retire within 5 years. "This JuicelifeHealthwonder Plus opportunity is totally different from all those...

Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot

The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn complete with the timeless Milky Bar Kid, horse and famous...

Michael Gove themed garden gnomes to be stocked by Homebase

Domestic retail giant Homebase is rumoured to be about to bow to pressure from Michael Gove's employer, Rupert Murdoch, by stocking a series of garden gnomes with Gove's face. The loveable gnomes, to be nick-named...

Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017

Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job seekers and alcoholics alike. "I can't believe this is happening." Said...
Tesco Express

Brexiters boycott Tesco over sale of Remain Lettuce

Thousands of patriots across the length and breadth of Britain called for a 'complete boycott', of supermarkets, after it turned out a Tesco's store in Yorkshire was stocking lettuce which appears to have voted...

Yulia Skripal leaves Zizzi’s Salisbury 1 star TripAdvisor review

Yulia Skripal has left her first TripAdvisor review since being poisoned last month. Ms Skripal said, "I was in the country visiting my father in March. We felt peckish so went to Zizzi's. OK, it...

Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us

German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October 2016. CEO of Kinder Chocolate, Hans Frei, made the shock announcement...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays cancelled with British citizens already on holiday stranded. Keith Entwistle of...

Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den

Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took him from pitch to rich. "I love doing this show" a...

Amber Rudd launches investigation into NHS as ‘foreign worker’ stats land

At the Tory Conference earlier today, Miss. Rudd asked all businesses to compile a list of anyone who looks or speaks funny - except the Welsh - in a drive to pay British workers...

New Voting System Ticks All The Wrong Boxes

More controversy engulfed Rochdale Borough Council today as councillors in Rochdale's Labour run Balderstone and Kirkholt ward rolled out their new voting initiative just one day before the EU referendum. Dubbed DRS (an acronym standing...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other single men with little else to do than call people...

Rochdale worries as EU funding crisis hits Cornish supply chain

Mark Duddridge, chairman of the Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Local Enterprise Partnership, has said he wants a guarantee from the UK Government that the funds will keep coming, even after Brexit is complete. In...

Last PPI claimant found alive and well

The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.  After years of searching by PPI claims companies the lone man, Nigel Colinson,...

Diageo to move Scotch Whisky production to Romania

Inter galactic alcoholic drinks giant JoJo - Diageo is to close all of its Scotch Whisky distilleries in Scotland and move production to Romania, the company announced Friday. The company, generally referred to by it's traditional Scottish...
Knickersw with Trump written on them

Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media

  White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the lingerie line belonging to President Trump's daughter Ivanka. Spicegirl accused the...

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