Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range
Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
Kentucky Fried Chicken unaffected by chicken shortage, thousands of cats reported missing
KFC has opened more of its outlets in the UK despite running completely out of chicken.
Ryanair confirm passengers to fly planes from 2020
Troubled budget airline Ryanair today announced plans to ease their ongoing pilot strike issues by confirming they will now charge customers to fly their...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
Nationalisation doesn’t work, says firm making millions out of Privatisation
Business - Residents left worried by the collapse of Carillion and ensuing loss of local services have been given the news by local MP...
HS2 to be built by immigrants
The government is expected to reveal plans to admit up to two thousand migrant workers from the Calais Jungle to help construct HS2.
Prospective workers...
Sports Direct CEO burns millions of pounds in front of staff
Self assured fuck nugget Mike Ashley, CEO of Sports Direct, pulled the idiotic stunt at one of his sweat shops earlier today.
Keith Stitcher, a...
New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner.
As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...
Blockbuster Video returns to Rochdale high street in post EU Britain
There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster.
Rochdale's elderly population had turned...
Local Entrepreneur Makes Big Hit On Dragon’s Den
Local businessman Vinnie 'Fingers' McPherson entered the big league in the world of high finance today when his appearance on TV's popular Dragon's Den show took...
New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
