If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
New transgender £10 note to feature Stone Cold Steve Austen when you tilt it...
Bank of England unveils new non-gender alignment biased polymer tenner.
As of today, ten million new ten pound notes bearing the new design have now...
Patriotic billionaire Brexit supporter patriotically moves headquarters to Singapore
A Brexit supporting patriotic billionaire is so confident that Brexit is good for business that he's decided to move the headquarters of his business...
Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us
German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October...
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Pret A Manger have successfully poisoned more people this year than Vladimir Putin
Pret a Manger have successfully poisoned more people in Britain in 2017-2018 than Vladimir Putin according to sources within the GRU.
The news comes after...
RBS announces plan to rebrand as The Money Pit
The Royal Bank of Scotland has today announced losses of 7 billion pounds in the fiscal year of 2016.
The Bank has been running at...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
Banks Punish Entrepreneurs For Brexit
Our Finance and Business correspondent, Scott Zsalt, was livid today after failing to get support from a major bank due to the fallout from...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather
The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis.
No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service
Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
eBay To Close Sundays
The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
