David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today that he is on the side of commuters, and apologised for any inconvenience. 

Brown, whose company within a company within a company within a company made just a smidgeon under 100 million in profit despite being less fit for purpose than a paper condom, said;

“Look, it’s all about infrastructure. Infrastructure, infrastructure, infrastructure. It’s not about me, selflessly giving up my massive bonus, it’s about infrastructure, infrastructure, infrastructure. That’s why the government has just given us £20 million of your tax money! ”
Critics of the demonstrably terrible bundle of half-arsed services say that Brown and the Dft are taking the public for a ride. A long, late, crowded and uncomfortable ride on which the toilets are as full of shit as Brown and the Dft.

“We’re not a private company being subsidised,” said Brown, “It is all about infrastructure, you see. Infrastructure, infrastructure, driver only trains, infrastructure! Did I tell you that I have turned down my bonus this year? Infrastructure.”