The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn complete with the timeless Milky Bar Kid, horse and famous catchphrase “the Milky Bars are on me.”

Rochdale’s very own HotPot Productions won the contract to make a series of adverts including several 30 second spot adverts and for the first time ever a series of 12 full length 5 minute long episodes of the western themed adverts which will be distributed online on social platforms including Facebook and YouTube.

The new Milky Bar Kid has been announced as Shashaq Magagula, a first generation immigrant from Eritrea, as the first ever British African actor to secure the starring role having seen off competition from hundreds of other hopefuls.

His parents told the Herald through a translator that they were “thrilled that Shashaq can follow his dream of becoming an actor, as a Muslim in Eritrea there would have been very few opportunities like this for him. Britain has been very good to us.”

A spokesman for Nestlé said;

“We’re thrilled to be rebooting the classic Milky Bar Kid. The old episodes only featured white children, these will be much more inclusive and will celebrate the cultural and ethnic diversity of Britain.”

The Milky Bars are on us!

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.