Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.

DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for the foreseeable future after 25,000 households in Rochdale burned their living room furniture en masse following revelations of Simon Danczuk’s, the pornography enthusiast and local MP, struggle with sex addiction.

Karen Danczuk, the professional self-publicist and cleavage photographer, led the charge after announcing on Twitter that she would be throwing out a £6,000 setee that Simon had sat on “just in case he had shagged on it, or worse”.

It seems Rochdale is taking no chances, DFS released a statement saying;

“There really is no need to panic buy sofas we will be able to fulfill your order eventually. In the interests of safety please choose your sofa online as the car park is full  and people could genuinely get hurt if this crush continues.”

Greater Manchester Police are advising people that “it is unlikely you will catch something from your setee if Simon has sat on it, please stop burning them. Just cover it in plastic and leave it in the garden until we work out a plan with health authorities to dispose of them.”

More on this as it breaks.