Sausage giant Heck has hosted giant sausage Boris Johnson at their Yorkshire factory for the unveiling of their latest new product.

The Boris Johnson Heck Porky Pie looks like a pie but is in fact not a pie, not made of pork and is completely hollow. 

Made from the reconstituted dreams of an entire generation, chicken lips and unicorn arseholes the “pies” come in three flavours: bitter, sour and sour and wife bitter. 

“Boris Johnson has been selling porky pies to Londoners for years.” Founder of Heck Sausages Olly Up told The Rochdale Herald.

“Who better to sell a pork pie that’s entirely devoid of substance, taste or nutritional value? He’s the perfect frontman.”

The pies will be on sale at your local recycling centre from October.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.