Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Rochdale Toddler Softplay Centre to rebrand as Dante’s Seventh Circle of Hell
It's rumoured the world famous café and toddler soft play centre Tumble Tots in Rochdale will shortly be rebranding as Dante's Seventh Circle of...
Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes
Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry
A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
ISIS and UN unite to condemn So-Called Yodel Customer Services for crimes against humanity
ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...
Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he...
Vodafone Win Bid to Buy Eiffel Tower
Vodafone has won a bid to convert the iconic Eiffel Tower into a transmission mast, it has emerged.
The telecommunications giant secured the deal for...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Rochdale boss dresses down staff after casual Friday turns Nazi
The age old question of trying to persuade employees to continue to care about work on a Friday has vexed employers for decades. A...
Waitrose shoppers slumming it at Sainsbury’s as Pound plummets
Fans of the high end supermarket Waitrose have been forced to shop elsewhere as the Pound is now roughly the same value as the...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
Cost of mini milks going up?
MPs warned today that inflation is likely to increase to 3% in coming months and people are starting to worry.
During this current heatwave or...
Southern Rail hire United Airlines CEO to improve customer service
Sir Horton Brown, head of Southern Rail’s parent Go Ahead and Govia companies is to be replaced this week by the CEO of United...
