Donald Trump

Only Democrats were killed by Hurricane Florence, claims Trump

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Donald Trump has claimed all 12 people currently known to have died in the Carolinas as a result of Storm Florence were Democrats. "Proof that...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

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Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...

Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...

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After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Blizzard

Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow

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As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

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One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

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In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

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A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...
Alive

Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow

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Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists...
Family roast dinner

RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...

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In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank...
Snow on Street

Completely expected and predictable weather causes travel disruption and chaos again

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Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Duck

Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks

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Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather. Speaking from the middle of a...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

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Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

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A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...

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