Northerner goes full day without talking about the weather
Storm Eleanor has battered the United Kingdom with wind of up to 100 miles power hour, damaging property, trees and causing storm risk warnings...
Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks
A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
Olympic Bobsled team advised not to drive to work because it’s a bit slippery...
After celebrating the amazing success of Team GB at the Winter Games, winning 5 medals at a cost of only £28 million, the whole...
Northern Dad puts heating on
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on.
Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Red Weather Warning as Conservative Politicians spotted with hands in own pockets
With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country.
Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt,...
One dead and two critical after fight over last packet of burger buns
At approximately one o'clock this afternoon emergency services were dispatched to the Cooperative convenience store in Middleton. The initial response was to investigate a...
Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies
With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
Google breaks under search query strain after hot weekend
Google breaks under the strain of millions of Britons preparing their excuses for work on Monday morning.
As millions of us check up on the...
For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told
Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.
Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm
Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight.
It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to...
Ireland wakes up in South Atlantic after all-night craic.
The island of Ireland had braced itself for the oncoming of storm Ophelia in the best Irish tradition, with a night of craic and...
Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom
Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...
Hurricane Ophelia upgraded to category 5 after northern man zips up coat
Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry...
