Weather

As hurricane Irma makes it's way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather and has ordered the United States Army to defend Florida...

In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank holiday weekend. "In this weather you should not be leaving a...

The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.

Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian Bloke, 15, to leave his bedroom. His mother, Sharon Arkwright, 37,...

Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open. The native of Ecuador told the Herald, "This morning was very reminiscent...

Thousands of stay at home parents forced to play with their slack off kids all day have had to revise their 'happy childhood memories' of a White Christmas and Snowball fights.  One parent who wished...

Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast all over the country children have unanimously agreed that they'd...

The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite" is now the most popular petition of Irish origins on...

Peyongchang 2018 was the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB and just one day after the closing ceremony Britain has begun its annual mass panic as snow flakes have been spotted all over...

Britain prepares itself once again for total travel chaos and public service disruption, because of the completely predicable weather that is expected at this time of the year. Millions of people woke up this morning...

God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald Trump signing an executive order banning trans-sexuals from the United...

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural Planning Group have put forward the idea because they are worried...

A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is brewing. The white plastic chair, part of a set of four...

Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat men have forgotten to get dressed for the second day...

A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the roads and keep the traffic moving over the weekend. "It's apparently...

The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather of the season. It seems in spite of it being cold...