You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers
One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow.
"Don't...
Julian Assange makes the most of the hot weather by opening a window
Julian Assange has spent the weekend enjoying the bright sunny weather by sitting in a room in the Ecuadorian embassy with a window open.
The...
It’s a bit windy out
People all over the UK who have ears and access to either a door or a window have confirmed that it's a bit windy...
Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather.
Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...
Rest of world ceases activity so BBC can cover snow
As Britain is experiencing the worst snow since last time,the rest of the world has decided to cease all activities and events to let...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children
Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman.
With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...
Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite
The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks
A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
For f*ck’s sake put a top on, men told
Men have been asked to put some clothes on because they really shouldn't be in the pub half naked.
Professor Gareth Linkeker of the Institute...
Northerners scared by red sun consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices
Looking outside this morning millions of British citizens were confronted by an unusually shade of overcast and the sun glowing a curious red.
Researchers from...
Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”
Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them.
However he...
Britain surprised by arrival of snow for 8,000th year in a row
?Ever since the peninsula of Britain became the island of Britain, the inhabitants have been utterly unable to predict or cope with the cold...
British meteorologists blame wet August on an increase in cloud storage by Apple
The weather scientist went on to predict industrialised nations have a maximum of one year before the amount of material stored in the cloud reaches a critical mass of never ending rain.
Council has enough grit
A council in the North of England is absolutely confident that this is the year that they have bought enough grit to salt the...
Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources.
For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned
People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts...
