Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

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The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Sunbathing woman

Homeworkers warned to wear suncream as UK heatwave intensifies

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With expectations that this month's sweltering weather could become the norm a health strategy is urgently required to protect the thousands of people who...
Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

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Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...
Bono

Several million Irish sign petition to tie Bono to a fecking kite

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The good people of the Emerald Isle know how to take advantage of this windy bollocks A petition to "tie Bono to a fecking kite"...
KFC

Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken

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As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Alive

Burnley Rugby team turn to cannibalism after being stranded on M62 in snow

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Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists...
Inclement weather

Facebook Meteorologists Out In Force

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The annual outing of Facebook Meteorologists is in full swing. Facebook servers are under severe strain from the pictures of the first inclement weather...
Messy boys bedroom

Weather still not good enough to lure sulky teenager out of his bedroom

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Despite the change in the weather, cloudless skies and temperatures in the high 20s, it is still not enough to persuade moody teenager, Damian...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

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Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast...

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