UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called for a referendum to secure Britain's opt-out from Global Warming. "We...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on Tyneside. 26-year-old hairdresser, Cheryl Weedy, revealed her new look on Thursday...
Michael Fish

Michael Fish assures Virgin Island residents that “no hurricane on the way”

Famous weather broadcaster Michael Fish has moved to reassure British Virgin Island residents that there isn't going to be another hurricane hitting them. However he did say that whilst there was no hurricane coming “it...

Storm Eleanor wreaks havoc after gate left open on wind farm

Met Office issues "risk to life" warnings with wind speeds over 80mph expected overnight. It has been revealed that Storm Eleanor, the latest storm to rock the British Isles, started when someone left a gate...

Aging pop acts battle over who inspired Storm Caroline

As reports develop of the latest weather front to hit the UK, it appears that a storm is brewing in the music world that's set to overshadow the race for Christmas Number One. It...
Sunshine

Cumbrian Man hospitalised after lethal exposure to Vitamin D

The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of the rare nerve agent Vitamin D. With local post temperatures soaring to...
Red moon

Northerners scared by red moon consult wise woman and prepare sacrifices

Looking outside last night millions of British citizens were confronted by the moon appearing enlarged and glowing a curious red. Whilst most people south of Chester remarked on its unusual appearance and took photos for...

No we don’t want to build a bloody snowman, confirm children

Children around the UK have confirmed that they don't want to build another bloody snowman. With rain, sleet, snow and more bloody awful weather forecast all over the country children have unanimously agreed that they'd...
Donald Trump

Only Democrats were killed by Hurricane Florence, claims Trump

Donald Trump has claimed all 12 people currently known to have died in the Carolinas as a result of Storm Florence were Democrats. "Proof that God hates the crooked Democrats!" tweeted Trump, melting the keypad...
Sunshine

Panic on the streets of Rochdale as glowing hot yellow thing appears in the...

Panic has hit the streets of Rochdale today as a unidentified glowing hot yellow glowing orb has appeared in the sky. Terrified Rochdale residents yesterday reported sightings of a glowing ball giving off immense heat...
Family roast dinner

RSPCA urges pet owners to at least season with salt and pepper before leaving...

In the current heat wave the RSPCA has urged pet owners to undertake special precautionary measures when traveling with their furry friends this bank holiday weekend. "In this weather you should not be leaving a...

Homeworkers mysteriously suntanned

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts have confirmed. Following extensive research by experts at the Institute of...
White Patio Furniture

Patio chair braces himself for Storm Brian

A patio chair in Milnrow is bracing himself for an absolutely terrible few days after news that yet another storm with high winds is brewing. The white plastic chair, part of a set of four...
BMW

You can’t skid if you don’t brake, confirm BMW drivers

One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't brake," said Fred Goodhead, North region sales director for Rochdale...

Climate Change still insisting Donald Trump is a Chinese Conspiracy

Climate Change has today confirmed that it will continue on its promise to make the Weather Great Again despite the insistence from some it has no right to do so. “Donald Trump is fake...
Dogs die in hot cars

Irony strikes as Dogs Die In Hot Cars die in hot car

Tragedy has struck Burnley this afternoon after the Scottish band from St Andrew's accidentally locked in their tour Mondeo and died from heat exhaustion. With temperatures in Lancashire soaring above zero it's thought the band,...

Follow us

56,295FansLike
67FollowersFollow
18,423FollowersFollow
22,180FollowersFollow

Popular Posts