As hurricane Irma makes it’s way west towards the coast of Florida, president Donald Trump has issued a declaration of war on the weather and has ordered the United States Army to defend Florida with all It’s might.

A state of emergency was declared in Florida on Thursday, with public buildings and schools closing and many people preparing for the full force of the category 4 storm and many others deciding to arm themselves and taking a stand against the 150+mph winds.
Ryon Edwards of Florida started the Facebook event ‘shooting hurricane Irma’, the event description reads “It’s time we took a stand against this bully! This is our home, nobody drives us out of our own territory.”

So far over 46,000 gun owners have joined the group and intend to travel to Florida in order to shoot their guns into the tropical storm.

President Donald Trump made the following tweet “brilliant idea. The best. We’ll show that hurricane who’s boss. Just watch. Big plans.”

As of 11:00 GMT President Trump has signed an executive order declaring war on Hurricane Irma.

In a statement Donald Trump said “as of this minute, we the American people are at war with hurricane Irma. As supreme commander in chief I have ordered the Military to mobilise troops, tanks and the air force to Florida where they will meet this invader with fire and fury.”

It is believed many high ranking officers in the Navy and Airforce have expressed concerns about sailing nuclear bomb laden battleships into such a violent squall, or the futility of launching multi-million dollar missiles into a cyclone; however, an inside source at the whitehouse has informed us that the POTUS told them to “shut up and show me where that red button thingy is.”

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.