National News

James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'. "Many people don't know this, but I knew Harry's mother for many years and I...

A number of white nationalist groups have joined together in a boycott against the post-Thanksgiving consumer event known as Black Friday. Black Friday has been an annual event in the US for many years and...

Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient tradition of foxhunting, known among the poor and common as...

Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the UK animal kingdom to this news. The leader of the UK...

The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the weekend during which a horrible toff on a horse thrashed...

Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being able to say yes, yes we can as a four...

Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they have already wrapped all of their Christmas presents. The UK's super-organised...

According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord Rosetta, High Court Judge, has told reporters that Justin Milhouse,...

A 19-year old 'model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her 'virginity' for some fish and chips with a bloke she met at the pub. The part-time 'model' and...

Sex education has been given the thumbs down by Burnley gran Ellie-Mae-Leigh Horne. 19 year old Ellie-Mae-Leigh, whose eldest daughter Chelsea-Leigh has just given birth herself, was outraged. "It just shouldn't happen, innit," she said,...

The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with the armoured extraction convoy, the 48 bus, by three hours. The...

According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword. A Daily Express staff witness said: "Liz was forced to tap...

Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected veteran broadcaster, John Craven, was issued with a fixed penalty...

A woman from Rochdale has admitted that she doesn't really like Earl Grey tea because it tastes horrible. Winifred Barbarella from Milnrow (35 and three quarters), who wishes to remain anonymous, is an unemployed personal...

The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales.  The release follows...

More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.