A 19-year old ‘model from Burnley has spoken of a dream come true after she swapped her ‘virginity’ for some fish and chips with a bloke she met at the pub.

The part-time ‘model’ and mother of five from Burnley claimed the highest bid of a cod special and chips narrowly beat offers of a packet of black-market fags, a bottle of White Lightning and a pickled egg.

The ‘model’, named Kayleigh-Leigh Leigh, said she had decided to swap what remains of her virginity in an auction at The Lord Nelson pub.

“I would never of dreamt that the bid would rise so high and we would of reached a cod special and chips,” she said. “This is a dream come true.”

The teenager said it was her idea to swap her virginity, and that she had approached The Lord Nelson to run the auction in order to feel “safer” and make it “dead classy.”

“Nothing says safe and classy like The Lord Nelson. They’ve screwed down all the chairs so nobody can hit each other with them anymore.”

A spokesman for the Lord Nelson said: “We were honoured that we were given the opportunity to run an auction for what passes for virginity in Burnley.”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.