National News

The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail and Express, and much derision from everyone else. Here at the...

MP's have demanded that a new dress code be brought in for their staff to make them less alluring sexually. It's hoped that the new dress code which requires all staff members to wear...

Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick up artist Dapper Laughs had at long last vanished up...

There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who opened fire in a mosque in Canada was revealed to...

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were awarded their prize by Theresa May after they won the...

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious plans to boost the UK textile industry in "grim northern...

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole. “People started to shun me and sometimes even turned their backs on me when I walked into a...

A Rochdale man has demanded that the Government step in if the retailer John Lewis goes bust. There are fears that the retailer may be in trouble after it was reported that it posted...

Albert J Bilsborough, 63, has finally left the M25 after 30 years, after also being amongst the first motorists to enter the hell road. The road itself,  unlike most users, also made it to 30...

The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death of his arch nemesis George Michael and general 2016 shittyness,...

Working Mum-of-two Linda Green, 43, sorted, washed, dried and folded TWO full loads of laundry yesterday thanks to the heatwave that has swept through the North. "I've never known anything like it," a dazed...

"We didn't hack Paul Nuttall" claims anarchistic hacker group Anonymous, as they moved to deny claims that it had hacked the UKIP leader and MEP. "Anonymous strongly refutes all rumours and allegations that we have...

A man has bought a rather large and very expensive television today. It apparently takes up quite a significant part of his living room and is "almost as big as his cock, lol." as he...

You may remember that last year we partnered with some other brilliant satirists to run a Secret Santa for underprivileged children. Well it really, really took off and created a life of its own. The...

The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has happened since last June. Hindsight being 20/20 it is now clear...