The new runway at Heathrow airport will be completed just in time for leading Brexiteer’s to use it to leave the country for villa’s in France and Germany leading Brexiteer’s have revealed. 

One official said, “The Government has been under pressure to expand Heathrow. Mainly it’s pressure from Brexiteer’s who wish to be able to leave the country before people pitch fork them.”

David Davis said, “This new runway will be perfect. I’ll be able to get to France in under an hour which will make life much better.”

It’s understood that Nigel Farage is a fan as well. He told an LBC audience that the runway will be beneficial as he intends to use its links with Frankfurt as a way of escaping the mess he’s created.

Other Government ministers were also positive. Nigel Lawson said, “It will make getting to my Chateau much simpler. Obviously, I care deeply about Brexit but I care more about not having to eat squirrel should it all go wrong.”

It’s alleged that the runway will also allow easier access for Russian and Middle Eastern business men who wish to strip the country of all assets at a cut down price once Brexit is achieved.

One Brexit voter said, “This will be great. I’ll have somewhere to land that Spitfire Nigel promised me 2 years ago.”

It alleged that Theresa May won’t leave the country via the airport but will be packed up in a box and reassembled in the Deutsches Museum in Munich.

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.