National News

The whole of the United Kingdom are reeling from the revelation that the EU referendum has been responsible for every bad thing that has happened since last June. Hindsight being 20/20 it is now clear...

Festive upper middle class shoppers in Waitrose were astonished and horrified to learn that the store is run as a workers' collective. Eric Pode (40), a shopper in the Croydon branch and a keen amateur...

Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has been defeated in the Lords. The amendment would have required another...

The Government has announced that Boris Johnson is to be sent into space as part of its new space program. An insider told us, "We'll need to test the rocket. In the past the American's...

Volunteers at the Rochdale City Centre Food Bank have described cheering up considerably after someone anonymously donated a large box of voodoo dolls in the shape of Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg. Manager Emma Hubbard told...

Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase what the government has labelled the 'assisted return' of migrants...

Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural Planning Group have put forward the idea because they are worried...

Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and Thomas the Trident Engine. Said one source we contacted who worked...

Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners are strangely quiet about an Australian family who came to...

Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of the Sutton Coldfield Institute of Bullying told the Herald, "What...

Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox took questions at an arms exhibition in Bahrain. Asked by a reporter...

Birmingham city council, has for the past few weeks been in the grips of a public sector strike. Birmingham’s ‘bin men’ are demanding fairer/higher wages (we’re not sure which) for collecting and moving the...

The BBC announced Saturday that it is designating Aril 1st as "Farage Day", in honour of the enormous contribution that seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has made to taking the UK...

If there is a god then 2016 is his version of an April fools day prank. Long gone are the days of plagues of locusts and floods, he's bored of that and now so...

Reports have been across all of the mainstream press today regarding the Moors murderer, Ian Brady’s remains being buried at sea. A shock report that we have received here at the Rochdale Herald gives...

Rochdale residents have reacted with anger after it was revealed that Rochdale has dropped from 4th to 9th in the UK's childhood obesity ranking. 12 year old Frascati Deshawn told us, "It's disappointing but I...