May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo
Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...
Anaconda, Bresciola and Carpet Top 3 Girls’ Names for 2016
The computer that produces the list of the most popular names given to babies each year has thrown up a remarkable result in its...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Wales announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
The Welsh national Assembly has announced plans for Cardiff to be available in colour from 2022.
Cardiff will be the first City in Wales...
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Animals vote that MPs can’t feel pain or emotion
Following rejection by Parliament of the EU treaty to recognise animals as sentient beings, The Rochdale Herald has learned of a reaction by the...
Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality
The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage.
"I didn't know which way...
Whitehall in panic as Chilcot Report left on N47 Deptford Bus
With only a little more than a month to go before the controversial Chilcot report is due to be released Whitehall has been thrown...
Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis.
A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
The light shines out of my arse, says man who got toothpaste and Anusol...
Rochdale resident Des Spondent, 46, was getting ready for work one dark morning when the mix-up occurred.
The sores in his mouth miraculously healed, and...
“It’s Warmas” declares Britain
Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall?
Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being...
Conservatives offer new members discount card at Kentucky Fried Pheasant
Conservative Party Central Office have announced this week that new members will be recieve a variety of benefits including discounts at Michael Gove's new...
I did get the memo, but I don’t know what’s in it because I...
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has admitted that she did actually get the memo about specific migrant removal targets, but was unable to read it...
Collins Dictionary compilers to take course in basic arithmetic after calling ‘fake news’ the...
Lexicographers who compile the Collins English Dictionary have been signed up en masse for a course in basic arithmetic, it has been revealed.
The move...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
