God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’

Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus. Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Erdogan

Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election

A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term. Election authority chief said "imagine...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...
Quantum Leap

Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...

15
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing. In actual fact he woke to...
Russophobia

Russia accuse Boris of hysterical Russophobia

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Russia has responded to Boris Johnson's accusations of war crimes by counter-accusing the British government and Boris in particular of 'Russophobia.' Despite what one may...

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.

1
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

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International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
International Thundercunt

Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

0
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

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Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

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In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

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The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...

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