Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their heads into microwave ovens in an attempt to take selfies.
Conway made the claim following president Donald J Trump’s unsubstantiated tweet that former president Obama had ‘wiretapped’ his building during the election campaign. In the furore that followed, she tried to support the president, using her extensive scientific knowledge and the doctorate in astropsychic physics she was awarded from the University of the Church of the Sacred Bleeding Wounds of Jesus, South Carolina.
A disgruntled and overworked emergency doctor at the Dickwad Hospital for the Inordinately Stupid, Texas, was scathing: “These Trump supporters have shit for brains. Now they have hot shit for brains.”
“I done hurted my headbone…”, said Irma Neejit a 48 year old imbecile from Trumptonville, Indiana. “…now I don’t got no more Obama Care it gonna cost me big bucks.”
Several fatalities have been reported – although the doctors are saying things could have been much worse as many Trump supporters have such tiny brains that the microwaves missed entirely. Expectations that this would impact on support for Trump have been unfounded.
Sales of T shirts bearing the slogan “I’m a Hot Head for Trump” have rocketed.