Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration
There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event.
The demagogue was able to...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”
It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction.
This baffling...
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
Crooked Hilary Exposed Again
In the wake of the ongoing email scandal, an intrepid Rochdale Herald researcher, Douglas, has uncovered a series of other scandals that the...
NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election
On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running.
Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...
Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day
In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...
‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...
"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
New tariffs ensure American guns used to shoot American children made from American metal
Donald Trump has just revealed that the reason behind the new Steel Import Tariffs is to mitigate concerns that the deadly and easily purchased...
Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him
Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...
Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP
Revelations of comments made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...
Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House
Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.
Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time
President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour.
Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...
