Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school

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To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a...
Donald Trump

Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shooting

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Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shootingSo-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown'...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

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Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane...
Donald Trump DNA

Donald Trump: DNA test finds ‘strong evidence’ of human DNA

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US President Donald Trump has revealed that a DNA test shows "strong evidence" that he is distantly related to human beings. He took the test...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

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Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

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Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...

Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab

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Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a...

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
The Mooch

Scaramucci denies snorting cocaine in front of White House press corp

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Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his...

Trump apology shocks nation   

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In a move that has shocked the world the shredded wheat headed presidential candidate Donald Trump has actually apologised for something. His apology was aimed...

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