Turkey

Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble

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A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble. Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...

Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election

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Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Steve Bannon

Steve Bannon ‘resigns’ to spend more time with his prejudices

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Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

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Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

2
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”

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A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.

Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph

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Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff. "Edison fake American....

J K Rowling denies seven figure sum to write ‘President Trump and the White...

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Other proposed titles in the series are, ‘Vladimir Putting and the Half Brained President’, ‘Donnie Trump and the Gob of Fire and Fury’, ‘President Trump and the Prisoner of Asshat’, ‘Donald Trump and the Magic Revolving Door of Power’ and ‘Donald in the Competition to be Crazier than North Korea’.

Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror

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US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
International Thundercunt

Trump claims their is good people on both sides of grammar nazi debate

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President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides. Discussions and arguments about correct use of...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

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Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

Pound Hits New High of “20 Bundles of Corn” as USA Adopts Barter System

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The US Dollar has been abandoned and the Barter System adopted following Donald Trump's victory in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Fort Knox are...
FBI Directors till Christmas

Only two FBI directors until Christmas

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Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund. Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...

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