RH Exclusive: Excerpt from phone call between Turnbull and Trump

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Here at the Rochdale Herald, we’ve managed to get a world exclusive. It’s the leaked transcript of the conversation between President Trump and Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, of Australia. Here is an excerpt. Good morning,...

World now clear on just how much rope was needed for Donald Trump to...

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The world has been quivering with excitement over President Trump's possible impeachment for some time now, like Kim Jong-Un's stubby digit over a big red button. Now it appears satsuma face (well it is...

Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama

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Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

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There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for American democracy held in the Vatican. When you're the President of...
Donald Trump Jr

Fire at Trump Tower definitely not Donald Trump Jr burning Russia dossier, confirms Donald...

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New York - There has been more fire and fury today as a blaze at the top of Trump Tower in New York left tone person dead. Questions have already been raised by commentators as...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things. "Racists are a minority just like blacks, gays, wops, gooks, spicks and women." A spokesman...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

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In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person of the Year". Other notable recipients of the award include Adolf...
Trump Supporters

Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”

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‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.

I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President

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A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the name of a Marathon bar to Snickers. That having been said,...
Donald Trump

I will sue my victims says Donald Trump

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Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

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The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, with a new song, Donald, Donald Uber Alles. When...

Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

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The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.

Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage

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In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration. Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained, "The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...
White House

It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House has released a statement saying it's "too soon since the...

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