Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat as can be imagined.

Debate continues to rage in the US over whether school teachers should be allowed to continue to stockpile weapons of maths instruction unchecked.

Believing the risks of inaction to be far greater than the risks of action, many patriotic citizens have launched unilateral pre-emptive strikes.

Although these shootings have been primarily targeted on maths instruction facilities, like schools, they are not without cost in collateral damage. In consequence, some US youth continue to make doveish noises in favour of a live and let live, or indeed, just be allowed to live, approach to the US school system.

But if teachers are allowed to deliver maths instruction unchallenged, the outcome is bleak for US politics. It is time for a coordinated approach, and President Trump recognises that.

A raise in education standards, especially numeracy, will inevitably lead to citizens questioning why lobby groups are able to buy politicians as easily as a teenager can buy an assault rifle. That is the start of a slippery slope towards accountability, and corporate groups not being able to control politics.

Or if we call it by its proper name. SOCIALISM.

Urgent action is clearly needed. Espousing a grasp of realpolitik on a par with Kissinger, President Trump has solved it with his “guns not books” programme.

We need to treat schools like we do those shithole countries. Get them spending their budget on armaments instead of education.

That will help ensure America continues to be the home of the brave and the land of the free to do what you want if you’ve got enough cash.

Like many satirists, Johnny Wapping accepts he is an arsehole, and thinks society could be better if we were all willing to accept what arseholes we are. If you see him on Facebook, why not ask if he's read the article?