Celebrity

Following numerous occasions where he was always the bridesmaid, Nigel Farage is now delighted to be at the top of his tree in his chosen field. After the announcement that Prince Philip has retired from...

The world is today in mourning for pioneering feminist and humanitarian Hugh Hefner, who has died at his home in California just hours after his tireless campaigning in Saudi Arabia helped to secure a...

82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced that he is ready to die. Although not in any actual...

After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more than a passing resemblance to his hero, Ken Dodd. "I got...

Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them. The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners and other attendees usually contain free gifts such as holidays,...

A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's 'The Stig.' The aim of the trial is to make both...

Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends dying before the end of 2016.  Following an emergency COBRA meeting...

Marriage fan Angelina Jolie revealed yesterday that she was well on track to break the late Elizabeth Taylor's Hollywood record of eight marriages and seven husbands. Following a series of short marriages to Johnny Lee...

Finally some good news! The nation was overcome with emotion today as positive confirmation came through that sexual assault based 'comedian' and professional pick up artist Dapper Laughs had at long last vanished up...

MPs have described the 'hysterical' moment they were crushed in a desperate stampede to be the most righteously indignant and offended. Mike Backbencher - MP for Nether Pissle - was one of the victims...

The 80's smash hit superstar and naughties annoying meme, Rick Astley, is hanging up his mic once and for all. After the the shock death of his arch nemesis George Michael and general 2016 shittyness,...

This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul Golding and his sidekick Jayda Fransen. In a night that's sure...

The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

In an emotional final show, 102 year old Tommy Atkins held off challengers by singing Vera Lynn songs in a quavering voice in front of a backdrop featuring Lancasters, Spitfires, red phone boxes, sausages...

Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together. Spokesman and agent for the pair Alfonso Bertolli said; "They just couldn't make it...

Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis. Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class B drug to a totally legal drug. A McVitie's spokesman,...