Tributes flood in for trailblazing feminist who has died aged 91

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The world is today in mourning for pioneering feminist and humanitarian Hugh Hefner, who has died at his home in California just hours after his tireless campaigning in Saudi Arabia helped to secure a...

The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

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Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one of the finest footballers of his generation David Beckham (and...

Debbie Reynolds Posthumously Wins 2016’s Most Competitive Mum Award

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A bad week for the Reynolds family ended on a high note today as mother Debbie was posthumously awarded the Virgin Mary Award for competitive mums. The award was named after the original celebrity upstager...
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim victory in the 2020 season of Channel 4's hit reality...

Cliff and Keith “devastated” following death of their brother Little

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Cliff Richard and twin brother Keith are said to be "utterly devastated" following the death of their big brother, Little, sources have told The Rochdale Herald. His brother Cliff allegedly told a close friend of...
ice cream

Super hunter chilli Yorkie ice cream man-bar ultra plus released for aggressive thrusting straight...

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In a bid to expand on the non-gay male ice cream market, a new extreme sports cryogenic experience for man men is being launched. It will contain jalapeño peppers recorded at 15 million on the...

Gerry Anderson to Return as String Puppet

Die-hard Thunderbirds fans are celebrating the surprise announcement that Gerry Anderson is to headline the upcoming Cromer 60s Festival. North Norfolk District Council broke the news on Twitter that the creator of the cult 60s...
pippa

Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in...
Jason Manford

Jason Manford Kicks Aid Worker from Wall

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In a move that is sure to delight anti-refugee groups throughout the country, the once amusing Northern 'comedian', Jason Manford shockingly kicked an aid worker from a wall today. The incident happened when Herald journalist,...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Pope to beatify Katie Hopkins after death of her reputation…

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The Pope has announced that Katie Hopkins will be made a saint shortly, after her reputation sadly died last week. Hopkins's reputation went into an irreversible decline following her defeat in a libel action bought...

Government To Implement National Treasure Preservation Scheme

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Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends dying before the end of 2016.  Following an emergency COBRA meeting...
Tony the Tiger

Tony the Tiger calls out Jamie Oliver after cereal box slur

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Celebrity spotters and various other people with naff all better going on in their lives were feverishly screaming over rumours of a celebrity feud reaching breaking point this morning. The feud erupted after it emerged...

Katie Hopkins outraged as new IPhone X automatically set to permanently disabled and unable...

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Odious journo-babbler, Katie Hopkins was furious yesterday when she discovered that her new IPhone X was in fact less use than Boris Johnson in a foreign Embassy. “Obviously I ordered the white one, but when...
James blunt

James Blunt demands Knighthood after Ed Sheeran receives MBE

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The news of Ed Sheeran’s accolade in the latest honours list has been greeted by mixed reactions. His fans have welcomed the news, but their grandparents have asked, “Who’s he then and what does he do?” See...

Ketty Hopkins joins GB equestrian team

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Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team. Katie, the former Apprentice contestant and Jungle evictee who lost her...

Prince Philip to reprise role in new Star Wars film

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His Royal Highness to play part of Grand Moff Tarkin again in latest outing of sci-fi saga. Warning: contains spoilers Shooting began today for the latest instalment of the long running science fiction saga that has...

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