Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
UKIP Chairman claims “to play the piano in a whorehouse” on dating website
The Chairman of UKIP has been caught red faced after lying about his occupation on a dating site.
Paul Oakden claimed to "play a piano...
Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media
There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me
Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.
"I was...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
Trump accused of damaging reputation of fat, racist golfers everywhere
Donald Trump has been asked to give up golf as he is tarnishing its reputation and attracting the wrong type of people into the...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs
The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be:
"It's...
Trident finally put on Ebay
The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.
It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Man who doesn’t support party leader confused by people not supporting party leader
Bespectacled centrist Labour Party leadership candidate Owen Smith has questioned whether or not the audience at a Glasgow hustings were "entryists."
This was because the...
Man fakes own death to avoid helping mum set up new iPhone
A Rochdale man has been found alive and well living in Panama after apparently faking his own death in a canoeing accident at Greenbooth...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties
MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
