Trust me to deliver Brexit, says woman you wouldn’t trust to deliver a pizza
"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal
Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show
Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians
Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance
Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
