Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media
There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...
Europol warns of New Wave jihadis
Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.
Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Trident finally put on Ebay
The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.
It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
Twats on train don’t know they’re twats
A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats.
The group, who...
Queen’s speech delayed for halal vellum
"The ritualistic slaughter of goat is an essential pre-requisite for planned legislation in a parliamentary democracy." So said a spokesperson for 10 Downing Street...
Confusion as Trump blames The Who for Coronavirus pandemic
US President Donald Trump caused a wave of confusion and condemnation earlier today, when it was announced that he would be cutting funding to British rock...
Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises
A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...
Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor
A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Specialists called in after Yorkshireman with Aussie flu says “G’day mate”
A Yorkshire man has been rushed to hospital after it was suspected he had the most serious strain of the Aussie flu virus known...
Religious leader applauds honour killing in US
A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...
Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play
Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...
The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply.
Labour spokesman, Stan...
Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs
A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access.
David...
