David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

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David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

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Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...

World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...

Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success

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The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...

House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure

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After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...

SWP sees huge growth in membership, or is it the SDP, or maybe the...

Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party...
Finger painting

Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...

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Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...

Gavin Williamson declares war on schools

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Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary. His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...

Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

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Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...

Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’

A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk". The dam in Whaley Bridge...

Europol warns of New Wave jihadis

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Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.  Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...

Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset...
Dinner party group

Local woman wins award for most middle class comment 2016

A local woman has won Rochdale's coveted "Most Middle Class Comment 2016" at a dinner party this weekend. Barbara Dickinson was attending a dinner party...
Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

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Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...

Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child

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The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...

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