Flying Arse Crashes Nose First

The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...

Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night

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Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...

Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text

In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message. The victory follows the incredible shift...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

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"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...

City Traders delighted to cash in on RBS free money Bonanza

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The Government has announced a radical new plan to help, hard pressed, under-performing multi-million pound hedge fund managers make up the short-fall in their balance...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Hippies Hippy

Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal

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A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival. Despite there being music, dancing...

Coroner rules man killed by falling trophy cabinet victim of his own success

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The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was...

Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’

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Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday. Officials said "that...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...

If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...

Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...

Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’

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The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament. The policy, which will see families currently...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

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Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...

Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics

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There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...

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