E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire

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E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...

Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was...
Blackhole

Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties

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The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel. The...

Alabama legislature confirms blacks still welcome to get abortions or be shot by police

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Emergency session of Alabama state legislature passes important exemption In an emergency session of the Alabama state legislature, State Senator Garlan Gudger proposed an amendment...
Boris Johnson

Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge

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Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...

Standard government response to petitions revealed to be – F&@k off Plebs

The trend in starting parliamentary petitions seems finally to be tapering off. We asked serial petition-starter Si Neer why he thinks that might be: "It's...
McDonald's

Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states

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Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...

Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties

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MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

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Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Brussels Cathedral

New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral

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Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve. Chief...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

9
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...

Labour Party pledge to make it cheaper for young people to get stabbed on...

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The Labour Party has announced a new policy that will allow young people to get stabbed on night buses much more cheaply. Labour spokesman, Stan...

“It’s time to take back control”, writes The Queen

7
One's elected representatives are a complete shambles, One writes. One will not invite any of the proffered candidates to form a government. Instead one...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

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The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...

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