Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered

A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...
Santa with presents

Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days

Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...

Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”

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A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.  The woman, 32...

Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’

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Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
Christmas Presents

The Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal Update – 3,373 gifts worth £27,173.08

The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam...

The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle

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The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...

Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment

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A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.  Bill Board told us, "It was last...

Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’

A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk". The dam in Whaley Bridge...

Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five

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With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.

Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following...
Top Hats

Posh people forced to talk about football while England still in World Cup

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Ex-Public School boys and Hooray Henry's are having to talk about football and they aren't enjoying it. Whether they're at work, on the golf...

‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look

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After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

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