Southern Rail raise prices by £40 to pay for new Indian style trains to...

Beleaguered train operator Southern Rail has unveiled an ambitious new programme of investment to address overcrowding issues on commuter routes into London. The strike beset...

House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure

0
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...

Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...

Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
Space Rocket

Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash

0
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash. The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent...

10 injured after multi trolley pile up in dash to newly opened til at...

14
Reports are coming in that there has been a serious collision at Middleton Lidl. It is believed the carnage was a result of an inexperienced...
Celebrity Big Brother

Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019

0
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...

No binary education says May

0
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

0
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...

Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor

0
In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...

Catholic Priests in Ampleforth School Kiddy Fiddling Shocker

0
In shock revelations that will shake the Roman Catholic Church to its very foundations, stories are emerging alleging child sex abuses and so called...
Daily Mail Readers

Panic over as Daily Mail assures everyone the fridge wasn’t bought by a white...

0
The Mail-online has sought to reassure readers that it was a slack-jawed, lazy, drunken black man who bought the fridge that started the Grenfell...
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...

Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather

1
Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo

0
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

9
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts