Young people cause cancer Daily Mail warns

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The Daily Mail has exclusively revealed that British youth is causing cancer. In its article on the subject the Mail pointed out that British youths...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

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"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on...

Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale

News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
Meghan and Harry

Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday

The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...

No binary education says May

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...

Win Win Win with The Herald! We are giving away year’s free membership to...

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That's right it's not a typo, we are feeling generous today at The Herald after an out of court settlement with them southern softies...

Beards officially still cool – says man with beard 

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It's the news every streetwise hipster has been waiting for and today a man from London has confirmed that beards are still the must...

Tommy Robinson thrown out of restaurant after complaining about ‘Allah Cart’ menu

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Tommy Robinson has been thrown out of a restaurant in Oldham after a campaign event today after starting a row with the manager over...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

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Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Scientists

‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...

Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...

Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair

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Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...

Definitely no division in Tory Party, says independent and unbiased media 

There aren't any massive splits over the subject of Brexit or abandoned economic plans within the Conservative Party, reported media outlets through their silence...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app

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Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...

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