New Year to be rung in with chimes of Brussels Cathedral
Engineers have said it is unlikely they will be able to restore the chimes of Big Ben in time for New Year's Eve.
Chief...
Travel Chaos Hailed as “Complete Success” by French.
French authorities today claimed that their test of the post-Brexit border checks was a complete success, with motorists in Kent delayed for hours and...
Anger as Dominic Raab claims Hitler salute came from TV sitcom ‘Allo Allo!’
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab prompted fresh criticism today after claiming that the 'Hitler salute' frequently used by members of the far-right was 'just a...
Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.
The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Flying Arse Crashes Nose First
The longest aircraft in the world- the Airlander 10, nicknamed the flying bum- has crash landed in a field in Bedfordshire on it's second...
Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...
Oven ready chicken refuses to leave fridge
Despite professing for weeks that he was much more oven ready than 'that Turkey Corbyn', the world's largest chicken has refused to leave a...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Europol warns of New Wave jihadis
Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.
Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people
Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...
Jesus slammed for not following government advice after going out and getting hammered
A 33 year old man from Galilee has been criticised by the GNP, Greater Nazareth Police, after reportedly having a massive dinner party with...
Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal – 2,329 Gifts bought in four days
Four days ago we launched our Big Fat Secret Santa appeal with the wonderful guys and girls at NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People...
Beards Not Cool After All
24 hours after we exclusively revealed that beards were still cool, the International Facial Hair Council has declared that beards are no longer the...
Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...
Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...
