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According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays and an ever extending transition period, defiant Brexiters have taken...

A recent poll has revealed that this once loved insult has seen a sudden decline in use, and could be completely extinct by the year 2025. For years, the simple hand gesture was a staple...

Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable. The storm is already sweeping across the Westminster area and is expected to cover the entire country...

The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special' Advisor to the Prime Minister wherever the fuck he wants...

Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan. Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway while watching television and waiting to see which public service...

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens experience for many. But when your ground hasn't been completed...

Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed by boring sports to keep men in check. "Removing grid girls,...

Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about. Following last months decision to leave the EU by the British...

Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the past". The Rochdale Herald has this to say: 01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011...

Boris Johnson has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of the first-born children. The news comes on the anniversary of the...

The Coronavirus responsible for the current global pandemic, Covid-19, has described its recent infection of Prime Minister Boris Johnson as "exhausting, sweaty, and one of the worst things I've ever experienced".   Speaking to reporters outside...

Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ. Handy little blighters, their ability to handle a piece of...

The verdict has been returned by the inquest into the tragic death of Will Winnet. The coroner Dr Howie Perished has ruled he was a 'victim of his own success'. The death of the serial...

"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on Nigel Farage if the opportunity ever presents, Biff knows a...

LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have asserted the importance of men to control women's bodies before,...

"I'll deliver Brexit just like I deliver pizza." That's what Theresa May said and people have been queuing up to say that that's Brexit stuffed then. George Osborne said, "She once bought pizza for us...