M1 & M6 become sentient
The Department for Transport has today revealed that its works to upgrade sections of the M6 and M1 to 'Smart' motorways have taken so...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Shitheads get new jobs
London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Donald Trump to appoint Mr Muscle™ as his new Coronavirus advisor
In a move that has been described as both "batshit crazy" and "utterly, utterly mental", US President Donald Trump has revealed plans to appoint...
Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos
Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday.
Officials said "that...
Anglican bishop changes Facebook relationship status to – it’s complicated
Bishop of Grantham Nicholas Chamberlain this morning changed his Facebook relationship to: "it's complicated!" Although being in a relationship with a man he stresses...
Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..
Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens...
Prince Harry and Meghan to get holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Big Brother to launch Celebrity version with actual celebrities in 2019
Producers of smash-hit and hugely relevant TV show Big Brother have announced a new twist for 2019....actual celebrities will enter the Big Brother house...
Gavin Williamson declares war on schools
Former Defence Secretary, Gavin Williamson has declared war on schools mere hours after being appointed Education Secretary.
His secret plan, which he immediately leaked, is...
Electoral Reform Society mislays dictionary
The Electoral Reform Society has admitted they've lost the Collins Gem dictionary they had lying around the office a few weeks ago, making them...
Catholic Priests in Ampleforth School Kiddy Fiddling Shocker
In shock revelations that will shake the Roman Catholic Church to its very foundations, stories are emerging alleging child sex abuses and so called...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Disabled man fails to interrupt true love’s wedding due to stairs
A man has expressed his disappointment at his inability to interrupt the wedding of the woman he loves due to lack of wheelchair access.
David...
Mcdonalds to stop giving away assault rifles in Happy Meals in some US states
Four states in America have stopped giving away free assault rifles with every Happy Meal deal as a direct response to KFC banning knives...
