Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...
Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...
Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview
A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.
Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...
Panic grips nation as Britain realises Boris is in charge
Supermarkets across the land are fast running out of canned goods and bottled water and survivalist websites across the world are crashing as thousands...
Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity
Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again.
The...
NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers
People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...
Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another
Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another.
'I started...
Burnley Lidl selling Father’s Day Cards in packs of five
With Father's Day fast approaching, supermarkets and stationary stores across the country are displaying cards and gifts for children to give to their father this Sunday. Burnley Lidl has raised a few eyebrows with its five card bundle offer.
WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Rochdale RHS Britain in Bloom judges catch a Bellsprout
Members of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society) were visiting Rochdale this week as part of the judging of the North West in Bloom competition.
Each...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text
In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message.
The victory follows the incredible shift...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
