Cabinet to wear face masks during Cobra meeting as precaution against Coronavirus
The prime minister and senior members of the cabinet are to wear full face masks during today's Cobra meeting to decide whether to bring...
Amateur Orthopaedic Surgeon not as good as expert – concedes Brexit voter sick of...
Following months of "expert fatigue" the British public may now be prepared to start listening to people who know what they're fucking talking about.
Following...
Trident finally put on Ebay
The Trident nuclear deterrent was today put up for sale on Ebay by the UK.
It is believed that the nuclear weapon system was bought...
A1 renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
SWP sees huge growth in membership, or is it the SDP, or maybe the...
Rochdale Socialist Worker Party member and activist, Quentin Lennon, was celebrating today after finding out that he is part of the biggest political party...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Shops barely containing their desire to unload Christmas tat
Rochdale trading standards office has revealed it has been inundated with complaints about retailers desperate to begin selling their Christmas wares.
Officer Colin McNigelson told...
Emmanuel Macron meets Boris Johnson to tell him to fuck off in person
Following a hectic fortnight of being booed in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales and the children's ward in a Cornish Hospital, Prime Minister Boris Johnson...
Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
‘How many roads must a man walk down before he can call himself a...
Researchers have proved that the number of roads a man must walk down before you call him a man is greater than, or equal...
Piers Morgan furious after discovering Buffalo Wings don’t contain Buffalo
Piers Morgan took to Twitter today to denounce a popular fast food chain after discovering that its Buffalo Wings don't contain any Buffalo at...
Clean-shaven white van man obviously failed by mental health services
A clean-shaven, white man has been arrested outside a Mosque in Finsbury, London, after his van veered off the road and directly into eleven...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Physicists discover Brexit actually a black hole that feeds on political parties
The astrophysics world has been in overdrive this week at the announcement of a newly discovered black hole located somewhere over the English Channel.
The...
Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...
Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...
