Jeremy Clarkson’s views are irrelevant say other ageing xenophobic white people

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Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin...

Kids Don’t Spend Enough Time Outside, Moan Papers That have Spent Three Decades Convincing...

Several newspapers are complaining that today's kids spend less than half the time playing out as their parents did after a survey from The...

Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth

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DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down. The...

It’s impossible to sandpaper a netball, concede Australians

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Long standing dominance of sport by Australia and New Zealand ended by incredible English performance Some say Australian carpentry skill brings them closer to Christ....

Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...

Beards still cool, insists man with beard

As far as flash in the pan fashion trends go the 2015-2016 beard pandemic appears to be showing no sign of relenting with sales...

Conservatives to trial ‘career houses’

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The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament. The policy, which will see families currently...

Nick Clegg to run for leadership of Libdems

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Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron. In a speech...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...
Prince Philip

Prince Philip declared fit to work by Atos

Prince Philip has been declared fit for work by Atos less than an hour after he was admitted to hospital yesterday. Officials said "that...

Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies

Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives. The crowds...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

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Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...
Couple with dog

Possible to know same amount about Brexit by trying to hide from it as...

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As you stagger to the bathroom in the morning, arriving before you remember you have knees, and try to get all your strikingly yellow...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

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Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...

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