FA enquiries into unusual betting

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The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches. The FA spokesman, Brian Crosse-Barre, 97, said, "After bets were placed on Sutton United's...

Daily Mail readers push uphill for Gardner

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Daily Mail readers have insisted that Dressage individual gold medalist Charlotte Dujardin is renamed Charlie Gardner as her name has been deemed "too French" for a post Brexit team GB. Echoing the move which has...
Paul Nuttall

Huddersfield Town sign Paul Nuttall for a record fee

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The journeyman striker was signed for an undisclosed amount, although it is "considerably more" than the previous record fee of forty Rothmans and a fish supper. Nuttall made his name playing in the Premier...

Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!

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England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City to Torino on loan isn't because of his love of...

Poppies outraged at being hijacked by intolerable, out of touch band of Nationalists.

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The prima-donna XI, also known as the England National football team, have confirmed that they will take to the pitch against Germany this Friday, displaying the poppy. However poppies up and down the country have...

Vegan runs Great South Run without telling anybody he’s a vegan

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A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.
Salt and Vinegar crisps

A word in your ear Mr Lineker

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I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to start using Gary Neville If those twats don't like your tweets Then...

Eric Bristow checks out aged 20 double top

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Eric Bristow, the world's oldest ever darts player, was at the Premier League Darts event at Liverpool's Echo Arena when he checked out aged twenty double top. Despite staying in the top flight shape you'd...

International Olympics Comittee ‘really surprised’ by Russian doping

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More than 1000 Russian athletes have been implicated as drug cheats by a report today. The Rochdale Herald asks "Only 1000. Really?" At least 30 sports including football have been subject to a state sponsored...
John Inverdale

Konta tipped to be “a solid 6” when John Inverdale’s 2017 Sexist Gaffes are...

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Finals Weekend at The Championships in Wimbledon is fast approaching and that can only mean one thing…the eagerly awaited 2017 Sexist Gaffes list from John Inverdale. Inverdale, the 59 year old and formerly respected sports...

Football team goes one point ahead in Premiership.

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Fans of popular football team Chelsea Albion were agog with joy today when the team went one point ahead of arch rivals Liverpool Wanderers in the Premier League, with only 6 months left in...

House of Commons to close for week to hold UK Cat Herding Championships

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Following months of political turmoil in the UK and the shining example of incompetence that is the brexit negotiations, the political landscape is now undergoing further stress following an annoucement exclusively revealed to The...

FIFA poppy row escalates

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British football fans have been advised that if they object to FIFA's stance on its national teams wearing poppies on armistice day, then they could stop watching football in protest.  A spokesman for the National...

Canoeist wins Olympic Gold for canoeing

A canoeist fulfilled a lifetime's ambition last night after winning Olympic Gold for Britain in Rio. The Rochdale Herald would like to congratulate the canoeist who won a medal alongside fellow Olympian Tom Daley, who...
Donald Trump

Moron says something moronic

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A moron has uttered a statement that is totally devoid of intelligence, it has emerged. The exact words used in this situation concerned a football qualifier for the FIFA world cup - a match...

Private school fury as ‘dirty pints’ banned for 16 year old rugby players

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Plans to ban the enforced necking of dirty pints for under 16s rugby players have been widely criticised. The ruling by HSE is thought to have followed on from the proposed banning of...

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