Secret Santa

Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa

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We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...

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The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government. "He has to be gripped...
Mobility Scooter

Study finds brexit civil war would last as long as average mobility scooter battery...

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A study of mobility scooter battery life has shown that a Brexiteer led civil war would last 9 hours. 6 if the battles were...

Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal

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After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Theresa May

May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister

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Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

3
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...

Make America Great Again

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We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...
Theresa May

Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview

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Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...

Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit

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The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit. No really. The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people. That's not even satire. What the...

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...
Lego

Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’

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Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today. Hopes of a breakthrough were...

Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame

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 Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

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Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

30
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

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Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

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