Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded

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Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

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“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.

Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans

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A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed. The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...

Conservatives to shoot badgers until Henry VIII powers allow them to hunt with dogs...

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Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order...
Rees Mogg

Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...

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The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life. Whilst the...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

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Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

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The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...
Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

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Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency

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After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency. Speaking to disappointed...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

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President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The...

Yes Prime Minister explains the Trident Vote

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Sir Humphrey: With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe. Jim Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.  Sir Humphrey:...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

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President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Theresa May

“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public

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Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It...

Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan

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Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...

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