Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Warnings issued magic mushroom Brexit brexitius causes hallucinations of £350M week for NHS
Health officials in the United Kingdom issued warnings today regarding the consumption of a new species of magic mushroom called ‘Brexit brexitius’ as consumers...
Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump
The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump.
“It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins.
“Only a sick,...
Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once.
In...
Tate & Lyle sponsor cabinet meetings
After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that...
Owen Smith calls for another vote on leadership challenge
In a statement the bespectacled Bilko impersonator said;
"Just like on the issue of Europe, many people wanted a different outcome. I'd be prepared to...
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
