Barrymore seeks planning permission for bigger pool after High Court throws out Blair war...
It is being reported that Michael Barrymore is all set to appeal to the High Court for planning permission for a second swimming pool...
Trump claims Blacks, Latinos and Women are rigging the election by voting
America braces itself tonight after it was revealed that not just White rednecks are eligible to vote.
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Interest Rates Dropped From Naff All to Sweet FA
Bank of England catastrophe juggler, Mark Carney, made no change to interest rates this lunchtime.
Rochdale savers wondering exactly what this means have had things...
Theresa May to hold referendum on soft, medium or hard Brexit
Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft,...
Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol
Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall
Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
Brexit Cancelled as Civil Servants Finally Read “Article 50”
All nations attending Treaty discussions are only allocated one car parking space.
UK plans for "Brexit" have hit the buffers after Westminster Civil Servants finally...
