What do people need money for? Asks man wearing suit borrowed from tramp

5
A man wearing a suit borrowed from a hobo went on national radio yesterday to suggest people should only be allowed to earn a maximum amount of money.

Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter

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British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Angry

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

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Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...

Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton

4
The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...

May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe

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Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent. The slogan...
Theresa May

Whitehaven and Cumbria to Leave UK Launch of Cumbria Independence Party CUMFUK

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Emboldened by her landslide victory in the Copeland By-Election, new MP Trudy Harrison has announced that she is leaving the Conservative Party to campaign...

Simon Danczuk expected to volunteer as UKIP teenage pussy inspector

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"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...

EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...

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Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

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Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...
Boris Johnson

Boris urges Tories to get behind May as it makes it easier to stab...

1
Boris Johnson has today reprimanded Conservative Party Members for attempting to organise a coup and not asking him to join in. In his message,...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...
Theresa May

One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter, insists Theresa May

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Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn's threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

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John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

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Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

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In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...

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