Department Responsible For Brexit Does A Flit
Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country.
Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120
Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Ukip furious at voting for ‘the wrong Hitler’ in leadership election
UKIP are in disarray today after 'accidentally' electing Eddie Hitler to lead them for a month before Nigel Farage decides he wants the job again.
Ray...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister
Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...
Johnny Foreigner can zip it on Brexit
The government has banned foreigners from advising on Brexit.
No really.
The government has really banned advice on Brexit from non-British people.
That's not even satire.
What the...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
Theresa May thrilled that Russia thinks she’s competent enough to stage poisoning
Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her...
Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child
The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Theresa May to be replaced by heavy slow moving rain shower
“Rain shower means rain shower."
Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party
After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure.
The Tory Party has long...
Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost
One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...
Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal
Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
