Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less
In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less.
Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...
Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree
Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...
Theresa May to meet voters to tell them to fuck off in person
The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least...
Labour less popular than Conservatives snap poll reveals
Labour voters up and down the country were dismayed to learn that, according to a poll of absolutely everybody with a vote in the...
Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole.
“People started to shun me and sometimes even...
TM + DUP 4EVA carved into Magic Money tree by PM
Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping...
Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...
In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
May to leave dinner middle of main course and refuse to say what she’ll...
Downing Street has rushed to reassure an anxious British public today that the prime minister will leave her dinner with EU counterparts this evening...
Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged
Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election.
Speaking to...
Nobody arsed about Green Party Manifesto leak
Last night a draft of Labour's election manifesto was leaked leading to pro Brexit outrage paper, The Daily Mail, drawing comparisons between Labour's proposed policies and...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.
Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...
FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...
Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced.
The officers, obese men dressed in...
Britain to hold referendum to decide whether we love or hate Marmite
Referendum fan Nicola Sturgeon has announced plans for a controversial referendum to decide once and for all if Britain loves or hates Marmite.




















































