Smiling woman

Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland

0
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama.  Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

0
The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

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Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...
Theresa May

Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...

20
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...

Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

1
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

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UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

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In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

10
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...
A "xenophobic" Englishman listening to Nicola Sturgeon

English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony

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Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”

Miley Cyrus to sue Boris Johnson for £350M over unauthorised cover of “Wrecking Ball”

4
The worlds of entertainment and politics appear to have combined this morning with the speculation that pop superstar Miley Cyrus is expected to sue...
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

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A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...

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