Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling announces he’s pregnant after taking Covid-19 antibody test

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Chris Grayling has revealed he's pregnant after he took the new Covid-19 antibody test.  A spokesman said, "It came as quite a surprise for Chris...

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

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The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...

Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War

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Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...

Senior Tories Pledge To Eat Less

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In response to UNICEF’S report today forecasting child starvation in 2017, senior Tories have pledged to eat less. Peasant. Goose. Equine tartare and literally millions...
Boris Johnson

Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s

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Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government. Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...

Anarchists angered at police refusal to follow rules

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A group of Rochdale anarchists have been telling the Herald about the treatment they received at the hands of the German police at the...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

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The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...
Rees Mogg

Height supremacists promise New World Order will be with us shortly

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Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern...

Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement

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Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...
David Davis

David Davis-Brexit Speech in full

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In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

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Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Corbyn

Labour plans to make unions transfer power to workers

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Large unions would be forced to transfer as much as 10 percent of their voting rights to workers under plans set out by the...

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

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The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...

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