Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station.
The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Leaked Conservative manifesto just 5 pages of “lets get Brexit done” written in Russian
With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked...
Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody
Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Boris resigns to spend more time in storm drain beckoning to children
Boris Johnson has resigned from his position as foreign secretary today, and has returned to his natural role as a malevolent entity which preys...
Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview
Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...
Donald Trump shocked Democrat voters also allowed to buy guns
Donald Trump was horrified to learn last night that Democrats are allowed to buy guns after being rushed off stage by Secret Service Agents.
Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader
Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...
‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament
Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell. £118 million has been...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...
Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
