Gun held in front of American flag

Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US

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President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Trump defuses “alt facts” row by appointing Humpty Dumpty as Secretary of State for...

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US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass...

Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact

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UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...

Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position

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As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit. So we...

Diane Abbott suspended from Labour Party for calling Tory Front Bench ‘crackers’

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Labour Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, has been suspended from the party after it emerged she was accused of using a racist slur during...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

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Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable

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The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...

Patients should only suffer because of politics – Insists Hunt

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Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead. "Obviously we don't...

I am still relevant, insists Nigel Whatsisname

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EU milker and former leader of has been political party UKIP, Nigel Farage has gotten all salty after the government refused to give him...

Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...

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After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her. In...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

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A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...
Michael Gove

Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.

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A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent. The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

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Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged

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Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election. Speaking to...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...

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FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...

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