Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC.
Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest.
The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Teresa May to trigger Brexit after finding Shergar
Teresa May has finally announced her cabinet's decisive plan to trigger article 50 reminding Brexit voters that it is still "on her to do...
Brexit voters furious at a British Court today
Brexit voters today were unsure who to be furious at today after a British Court as opposed to a European Court made a decision about the nature of British Parliamentary Sovereignty.
US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...
EU condemns punchy politics
After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour.
Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump
Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.
Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate
The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level
Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s
Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government.
Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...
Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today.
Before pressing the big red button that triggers...


















































