Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

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Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...

Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour

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News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

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George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

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Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...
Tracey Crouch

New Minister for Loneliness reveals she’s feeling a bit lonely in Westminster

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Theresa May the UK Prime Minister recently announced Tracey Crouch as new Minister of Loneliness. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald's Political correspondent in...
Theresa May

“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public

15
Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Refugee

New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers

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Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
Tim Farron

Party that said it would only form coalition with Tories confused why people think...

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That bloke in charge of the Liberal Democrats and Vince Cable are confused today as people keep calling them Tory lite. “We’re totally against Brexit,”...
terrorists

DUP refuse deal with Theresa May saying we don’t negotiate with terrorists

4
Arlene Foster has returned to Belfast after failing to agree a power sharing deal with Theresa May saying she won't negotiate with terrorists. The key...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...

Leaked Conservative manifesto just 5 pages of “lets get Brexit done” written in Russian

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With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Interrogation

Torture works say fictional super villains and Donald Trump

2
Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works". "I've racked my brains to find...

Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low

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The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something. “It’s a...

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