Poldark overwhelming choice to lead Government of National Unity

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Popular TV star, the dark, brooding and enigmatic Ross Poldark has emerged as the main contender to lead a Government of National Unity as...
Jeremy Corbyn

Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express

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In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

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News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...
Running

DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field

1
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

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Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Christmas Morning

Only two prime ministers till Christmas

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Children around the UK were feeling giddy this morning after learning that it's now officially on two prime ministers until Christmas morning. "I can almost...

BREAKING NEWS!!! Supreme Court Rule 6 to 5 in Favour of Parliament Vote on...

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In the last few minutes the Supreme Court have voted 6 to 5 in favour of Parliament having the final say on Brexit. Rochdale urban...
Michael Fallon on bus

Michael Fallon quits Cabinet to pursue dream of ‘not having to work here any...

0
The Secretary of State for Defence has left colleagues at the Cabinet stunned when he sent a memo slating all of them at once. In...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

9
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...

Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child

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The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

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President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The...

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