Plate of Mince

Nadine Dorries replaced as MP for Mid Bedfordshire with nice plate of warm mince

0
Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

0
Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Jeremy Corbyn thrilled to get through to judges houses

5
The election result has seen Jeremy Corbyn in a new light and he is hoping to continue this form into the next stage of...
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

0
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Farage

Farage and Woolfe hospital hand job scandal

0
Farage and Woolfe have been caught on film in anothe compromising position.

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

0
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

0
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...

Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated

0
Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence...
Time Magazine

Trump towers above the little people for TIME magazine

0
President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

0
Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

Exclusive CIA interview: Russia definitely baddies.

0
The Herald, your only reliable source for news these days, has yet again got the scoopiest of exclusives, today we interview the CIA...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

0
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously

0
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

1
After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...
High Court

Stop proroguing, tidy your room, and wash that sock, rule UK’s few remaining grown...

0
After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson down.  "Stop...

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