Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

1
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...
Umunna

Paul Nuttall Has Chuka Umunna Running Scared for South London Seat

0
Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

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Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

0
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...
Law

Britain free from the ‘shackles of Brussels’ as it adopts every European law

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Britain is going to reclaim its sovereignty and make itself great again by sticking two fingers up at Europe and adopting every law and...

Jeremy Corbyn under investigation after making vicar’s daughter cry during hustings

29
Leftist wheat-eater Jeremy Corbyn came under fire from his own back-benchers today, after being accused of making a girl cry, and not just any...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

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The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...

Tommy Robinson claims full English ruined by brown sauce

67
Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. ...

Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero

0
Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.  Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

0
Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
Happy Student

We just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody we don’t execute in the...

0
Politics - A leading light in the Momentum movement has told The Rochdale Herald that they just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody...

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

0
SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...
Theresa May

Conservative cabinet worried compensating fire survivors properly will just make them dependent on the...

20
Government emissions today suggest the Prime Minister and her cabinet are struggling to respond to last week's fire tragedy in a way that meshes...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...

George Osborne seen in Waitrose buying fava beans and a nice Chianti

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Following news reports of comments made by Old Screw Eyes, former chancellor of the Exchequer, serial job hoarder and moneybags George Osborne, it appears...

Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english

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Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he...

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