Met Office advise all future storms named Storm Boris until May gets the balls...

0
The Met Office has released a statement this lunch time advising that all storms to hit the United Kingdom this winter will be named...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

5
In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...

HS2 in doubt after MPs voice concern about providing an army of white walkers...

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Lord Chris Greyling, Secretary of State for Transport, revealed this afternoon that the government is considering changing its mind over HS2 out of health...

Jeremy Corbyn’s conference speech just him saying “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” for 1 hour

5
Jeremy Corbyn's conference speech has been rapturously received by conference delegates. The speech consisted solely of Corbyn repeating the line, "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" for a...
Jeremy Corbyn

Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people

35
Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...

Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes

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Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
theresa nay laughing

I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...

0
Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector "Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...
Houses of Parliament

Lib Dems table bill to give each Leave voter bendy banana and note saying...

0
MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

11
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

5
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...
Teenagers

Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...

0
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

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Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

14
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

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