U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat
Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit
Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about...
Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire.
He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election
Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations.
The Prime Minister will require the support...
Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book
A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest.
The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today.
As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...
‘Shit dont stick to this, fam’ says Boris Johnson
Non-stick coating manufacturer Teflon has today announced a lucrative tie in with Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
The company is believed to have lined up an...
52% support euthanasia bill
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.
A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent.
The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
Theresa May unable to un-grit her teeth after assuring Boris that he can keep...
Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon.
Whilst seen as a potential...
Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC.
Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...
David Cameron In Shock After Key Attack On Shed
A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's...
