Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

19
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

0
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’

0
Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

0
Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

0
Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

9
Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...
Theresa May

Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview

The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row. The soon to be...
Beach

Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems

0
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems. The...

Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit

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Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93. Observers have noted...

£1.3 billion Cameron scheme a failure

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A scheme launched in 2012 by Cameron's government as a response to the 2011 riots has been an unmitigated failure, according to a report...

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

30
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

0
The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling

0
The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...

Shoppers rejoice as bendy bananas sneak back into supermarkets after Commons vote

0
UK shoppers were in ecstasy as bendy bananas made a comeback into British supermarkets following Parliament’s decision to allow Prime Minister Theresa May to...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

0
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...

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