Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

11
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament

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Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell.  £118 million has been...
Rees Mogg

Jocob Rees-Mogg insists women have absolute rights over bodies, except if they receive gift...

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The fall-out from the Weinstein allegations of rape, sexual abuse and unwanted sexual advances continues to widen and include those in political life. Whilst the...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

12
Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

50 Shades of Grey author denies responsibility for Tory surge

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The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire...

NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt

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A government source told us yesterday that  robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis. Dr...

Tommy Robinson converts to hipsterism in prison, plans to open falafel stand in Shoreditch

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Far-right garden gnome impersonator Tommy Robinson has revealed that he has become a hipster in prison and plans to open an organic falafel stand...

Talking Turkey; Leadsom Embroiled In Referendum U-Turn Debacle

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Conservative leadership candidate hopeful Andrea Leadsom was remaining tight lipped this morning following revelations that she has 'pulled a u-ey' over the recent referendum...

Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders

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The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union. Ms May was...
Inflation

Diversify portfolio to survive inflation Tories tell poor

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As news of inflation fears hits the headlines this week with pundits telling us that inflation will hit food prices the hardest the government has issued advice for the poor on how to survive inflation.

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada

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Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...

Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies

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The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...

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