Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...

Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...

Farage told get in the sea,  takes it literally

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Serial resigner and privately educated millionaire ex banker, Nigel Farage, self proclaimed 'man of the people' was told to "get in the sea" by...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbo makes his ex Home Secretary

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Jeremy Corbyn has appointed Diane Abbott as Home Secretary, placing her opposite Amber Rudd on the shadow front bench. "We want someone who represents the...

Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off

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Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement. Neil interrupted...
Theresa May Converse

Theresa May won’t let Brit Gas 12.5% price hike ruin her hiking holiday

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What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May's taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she's previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn't really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...

That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan

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His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement: "I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...

Lords Punish May With Dance

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Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”. And failed terribly. A furious May entered the Lords...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

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Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University’s Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...

May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson

18
The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

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Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.

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