Theresa may Trump

Blitz Spirit redefined to mean allowing a foreign Government to choose your ambassador

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The Oxford English Dictionary has announced that it is redefining the meaning of Blitz Spirit. The move comes a day after the British Government...
Brown bear in woods

Smith Reveals Bears have secret plan.

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In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier...
Boris Johnson

Keep me out of the news says BoJo

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A BBC news anchor disappeared in a cloud of bitter irony recently whilst reporting the story surrounding the Foreign Secretary’s reported texts asking to...

Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim

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After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.  "No one actually thought the plebs would defy...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith

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Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife. Mr. Smith told...

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

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In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.

Farage in critical condition after massive overdose

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Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Trump finds Rory McIlroy’s head in bed after throwing Koch off Golf Course

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President-Elect Donald Trump has denied evicting the proper billionaire, libertarian gun nut and political financier behind the Tea Party, David Koch, from his exclusive...

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

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Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...

Corbyn Backs May In Commons Vote Again

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"I'm sure I can remember one, if you just give me a minute." Jeremy Corbyn replied this afternoon, following the Commons vote to call...

Universities to charge £4K a year for fruit picking courses to prepare students for...

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In proposals aimed to meet the agricultural sector’s labour needs post Brexit universities will be allowed to charge up to £4K a year for...
Shrugging Man

No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives

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Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...

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