Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

9
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

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Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Liam Fox

I’ve never even heard of Liam Fox says Liam Fox

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Conservative MP, Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade, Dr Liam Fox, has issued a blanket denial that...
corbyn momentum twerp

Political satire not funny when it’s about Corbyn, says humourless twerp

24
Taking the mick out of Tories is fine but leave Corbyn alone, according to Frank Lennon, a Rochdale Momentum member. "The Tories are evil and...

Farage told get in the sea,  takes it literally

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Serial resigner and privately educated millionaire ex banker, Nigel Farage, self proclaimed 'man of the people' was told to "get in the sea" by...
Jeremy Corbyn

Corbo makes his ex Home Secretary

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Jeremy Corbyn has appointed Diane Abbott as Home Secretary, placing her opposite Amber Rudd on the shadow front bench. "We want someone who represents the...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Teenager

Teenager born in 2000 looks forward to enjoying retiring in 2120

0
Today the government announced that plans to change to the state pension retirement age to 68 will take effect in 2037, 7 years earlier...
Downing Street

May to ‘Rasta’ it up

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In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Theresa May

May announces referendum to abolish office of Prime Minister

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Theresa May is to hold a referendum on abolishing the office of Prime Minister, following a meeting with Rupert Murdoch, although it is advised...

Farron Accepts Offer of Education Secretary As May Offers Anti-Brexit Coaltion

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Tim Farron spoke of his relief this evening as he accepted Theresa May's offer of a coalition government on the condition of an anti-Brexit...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

Conservatives horrified at ‘meagre’ income of BBC presenters

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On Wednesday in was revealed to the public how much some of our favourite BBC Presenters earn, as well as some rubbish ones too. The...

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