Alex Jones

Alex Jones discusses the Trump presidency

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Good evening. Today I am speaking to Radio host and Bacofoil and batshit salesman, Alex Jones.  Good afternoon, Alex. How are you feeling after Trump's rather...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

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A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...

Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus

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Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus. "It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike" Smith drew...

Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’

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Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

Yeah, well I didn’t want an election anyway, so ner, huffs ridiculous man child

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The degradation of formerly Great Britain continued this week, with the news that Boris Johnson has again failed in his attempt to call a...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

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Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...

Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...

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Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister...
Westminster

Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker

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The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...

Harry Potter thinks Corbo is “Absolutely Wizard!”

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Former Auror and famed 'boy who lived' Harry Potter has revolted against JK Rowling, who is his creator, by supporting Jeremy Corbyn only days...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Theresa May

“Don’t worry, my government will soon be gone.” May reassures a worried public

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Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It...

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

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Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...

High Court Judge gives blow job to Brexit

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Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...

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