Senior Brexiter demands white York roses repainted Tudor rose for sake of national unity

0
A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

0
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks

27
Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks. It's believed Theresa May made...
Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Jeremy Corbyn 1980's

Conservative MP apologises for tweet alleging Corbyn was a politician in the 1980’s

0
The Conservative MP Ben Bradley has conceded that Jeremy Corbyn did no work as a Politician in the 1980’s and has agreed not to make the allegations again.

Momentum release Labour leader themed children’s book ‘Where’s Corbyn?’

6
Children of the proletariat were delighted at the news today that Momentum are publishing a series of exciting Labour leader themed children's books. The first...

Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

0
Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her "n@£$er in the woodpile" gaffe at London's...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

0
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Leopard print shoes

Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes

0
Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

10
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...
Theresa May

Nah, I said smashed through a field of weed fam, claims PM

18
There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me? “When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday. “Maybe it was that Lord...
Houses of Parliament

New dress code requires MPs to wear oven gloves in Parliament at all times

0
The UK Parliament's Committee on Standards has announced plans to require all male MPs to wear oven gloves whenever they attend the building. The Committee...

Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown

0
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...

World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets

0
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...

Miley Cyrus to sue Boris Johnson for £350M over unauthorised cover of “Wrecking Ball”

4
The worlds of entertainment and politics appear to have combined this morning with the speculation that pop superstar Miley Cyrus is expected to sue...
Theresa May

Prime minister says, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I’m doing it all on...

12
The woman who thinks she's British prime minister stated clearly today, and repetitively, “Boris Johnson is not undermining me, I'm doing it all on...

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