Hipster twats demand clean shaven white twats condemn terror twats
Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.”
“It is imperative, at this time of national crisis,...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Talking Turkey; Leadsom Embroiled In Referendum U-Turn Debacle
Conservative leadership candidate hopeful Andrea Leadsom was remaining tight lipped this morning following revelations that she has 'pulled a u-ey' over the recent referendum...
Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody
Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
World leaders tackle climate change with massive party and flights home on private jets
The world's elite gave their 100% commitment to climate change this Monday by having a colossal piss up then returning to all corners of...
Theresa May sets new record for least informative interview
Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an...
Lessons not learned for out of touch May as she fails to show up...
Critics have jumped on to Theresa May claiming that she is out of touch and still has not learned the lessons of the recent...
Government approves £118M fire safety upgrade, including sprinklers, for the Houses of Parliament
Britain's greatest female Prime Minister, announced in a key note speech, that her Government has learned the lessons of Grenfell. £118 million has been...
EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...
Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...
UKIP call for Global Warming referendum
In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...
Private rail company owner and Blairite totally unbiased about Traingate
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson said today that claims that he has it in for rail nationalisation enthusiast Jeremy Corbyn are unfounded.
The gazillionaire, famous...
Trump apologises for misreading email.
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days.
The President was...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
