Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

34
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...

Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award

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Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.

Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron

9
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

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A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the...

Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...

Trump in Mexican standoff

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Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.  Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
Gays

Dead gays thrilled at posthumous pardons for jail terms and chemical castrations

1
Dead gays celebrated accross the country today as the 'Alan Turing Law' was unveiled by government, effectively absolving them of wrong doing for having a...
Theresa May

May To Wheel Out Trebuchet

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Theresa May will relaunch her election campaign today with a classic bit of fighting kit. A trebuchet nicknamed 'Warwolf". The trebuchet, effectively a giant catapult,...

Jeremy Corbyn to cross floor to lead the Conservative Party

6
Written off as a hopeless loser, terrorist supporter and left-wing extremist at the start of last week's general election campaign, Jeremy Corbyn has risen...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

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Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

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The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

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A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...

Diane Abbot “fed lines through an ear-piece” says former leader

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Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy...
Corbyn Shape The Future

Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...

1
Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

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Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

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Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...

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