Houses of Parliament

Government exempts itself from report on racism

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The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Westminster

Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government

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The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...

Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous

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The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...

Paul Nuttall Claims June 8th Ballot May be Rigged

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Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election. Speaking to...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

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At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

McCartney soils himself in public, again

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McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the...

Green Party suffers rectal prolapse over Swansea Tidal Lagoon go ahead

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News of the go ahead for the green energy scheme at Swansea Tidal Lagoon has set heads spinning in Right On Brighton Pavilions today. "I’ll...

Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom

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Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...

We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...

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The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

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In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Santa and reindeer

Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

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Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the...

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