Children around the UK were feeling giddy this morning after learning that it’s now officially on two prime ministers until Christmas morning.

“I can almost taste the presents.” Carly McPhee, seven, told The Rochdale Herald. “I’m really hoping for a My Little Pony and a Hard Brexit, whatever that is.”

“I know it’s only mid July now, but in reality we’re only a Rees-Mogg and a Corbyn away from the big day.”

“I started writing my list for Santa the moment that prat Boris Johnson resigned.”

“I’m going to make the most of this one because I fully expect Jeremy to cancel all Christmases in the future, you know, in the interests of fairness.”

“You know with all property being theft and what not.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.