Politics

Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under any circumstances. "I'm catholic, and according to my beliefs abortion is...

Downing Street announced today that all families in the U.K. which include one or more infants are to be issued with a special raffle ticket in the next week. The surprising decree has been issued...

The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000 dick pics. A Foreign Office insider, Ivor Biggin told us, "It's...

The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug self-important high profile politician losing their seat will henceforth be...

Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon change their name to De Gréoire. Long established as a culinary...

There were tense scenes outside the former Waitrose building in Rochdale's upmarket Falinge Estate yesterday after crowds of militant political moderates and progressives clashed at the "Moderates Against Moderation" Rally. Rochdale's champagne socialists and pro-Corbyn...

Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the Rochdale Herald. Following a heated meeting on Sunday at Mad O'Rourke's...

Unnatural freaks, social outcasts and fictional horror characters are lining up to support President Trump's assertion that "torture works". "I've racked my brains to find a good argument against but just can't", said Slenderman, the absurdly...

Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was reportedly shocked by the request, as that's already his job. However,...

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will be invested in ending it. The PM, who demanded that police...

The Chancellor of the Exchequer is set to announce that the job retention scheme, which sees those workers furloughed by their employer receive 80% of their wages from the government, will be replaced by...

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

With temperatures plummeting across the British Isles, many patriotic politicians are complaining at their lack of opportunities to escape the country. Conservative Politicians Jeremy Hunt, Liam Fox, Michael Gove, and David Davis were spotted walking...

Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.

There was outrage across America as a family photo of the Trump family emerged with both Donald Trump's father and mother dressed from head to toe in KKK robes. The Ku Klux Klan were quick...