With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked copy of the Conservative manifesto.

The five page manifesto written entirely in Russian, once translated consists of the words “lets get Brexit done” in all caps followed by three union flag and three muscle arm emojis, repeated 150 times.

When asked by our political correspondent whether the manifesto is indeed the product of foreign interference, PM Boris Johnson said “look, we really need to get Brexit done.”

When asked about the implications on national security, foreign, domestic and social policies the PM said “Brexit has been blocked by parliament for too long.”

When we asked whether Russian President Vladimir Putin has any hand in the party manifesto, the PM said “Jeremy Corbyn won’t even tell us what side he is on.”

We placed a copy of the manifesto online and our polls indicate that it is not sitting well with 18 to 28 year olds based in the Rochdale area, with comments such as “Boris is a liar and cant be trusted.” but is incredibly popular, amongst 30 – 50 year olds based out of Novosibirsk With an astonishing 3289 comments stating “We support Boris 100%” posted within minutes of the manifesto and poll being posted.

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.