Other News

A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great career prospects, went to an expensive school and are really...

In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and Pensions Secretary, Iain Crabb Green, said; "This is a fantastic opportunity...

After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish Garda are now considering prosecuting other celebrity blasphemers. The most notable example...

A new survey of football fans has discovered that Manchester United fans have significantly smaller penises than men who follow other teams. "It's not just the size" said knob measuring boffin Dr Klopp of Rochdale's...

Nigel Farage has responded to criticism from Andrew Neill that Brexit Party no longer has a reason to exist following their total annihilation in the exit polls in the General Election by saying it isn't all...

?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language certainly caused a stir, as hundreds of thousands of bemused people...

Jeremy Corbyn took the bold move today to rule out a coalition with SNP, The Greens, The Liberal Democrats and any of the politicians in The Labour Party. Talking to the Labour NEC he began by ruling out a coalition...

The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is "absolutely not a factor" in her decision to circumvent the...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before she was supposed to at 11:00am, pissing everyone right off. Surrounded...

Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We at the Labour party are celebrating this news; half of...

Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head with a blackjack and forcibly dragged him aboard a Ryanair...

Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of unlikely literary immigrants to Britain. A spokesman for the Home Office Department...

Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll of a group of Sheffield residents on the shape of...

In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France amidst fears for their safety after the triggering of article...

ISIS and all the member states of the United Nations have broadly condemned the British parcel delivery firm and courier service Yodel for crimes against humanity.