World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

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Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...
Guess Who

UKIP select new leader using Guess Who

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UKIP have announced their new leader having given the process over to the childrens game, Guess Who. UKIP member Cliff Edge said, "With dwindling membership...

Scientists Prove Fake News Caused by “A lack of bullying in schools”

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Scientists believe they have proven the rise of Fake News is a direct consequence of the decline of bullying in schools. Professor Andrei Clewsov of...
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

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In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...

Strangers raise over £170,000 to give to anyone

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A GoFundMe page was set up yesterday and has already raised over a £170,000 with all proceeds to someone. The page's founder, Simon Collins, said;...

Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco

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Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like; "The Prosecco is open! You know what that...

Daily Mail aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080

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The Daily Mail is aiming to eradicate all racism by 2080 it has announced. Building on its highly successful campaign against anti-Semitism in the Labour...

Anonymous declare war on ISIS for 4657th time.

The group Anonymous have today declared war on ISIS for the 4657th time. A spokesman for the group said, "ISIS should prepare for a fate...

David Cameron admits he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian

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Former Prime Minister David Cameron has admitted that, contrary to popular conception, he’s actually a working-class Liverpudlian. Cameron made the shock admission during an...

Corbyn manifesto pledge to roll Tom Watson in carpet and throw into the sea...

Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at...

Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons

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The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’

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Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Claims UK First in Queue for Scottish Trade Deal

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Liam Fox has sparked rumours that the Scottish Independence Referendum planned for 2018 was a foregone conclusion this afternoon. The furore began when Mr. Fox...
Arsene Wenger

Corbyn hires Arsene Wenger as Labour Manager

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It appears that politics will see a tornado of excitement and enthusiasm as Jeremy Corbyn is planning to bring in the current Arsenal manager...

Theresa May: Donald Trump told me to grab EU by the pussy

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Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview...

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