Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Florence and the McMachine
McDonald's is suing Florence over claims that the historic city is "promoting a healthy diet & lifestyle contrary to Western values
999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’
A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...
The man from Del Monte in critical condition with scurvy
80's TV ad star and renowned juice producer, Derek Monte, was rushed to hospital yesterday and immediately diagnosed with scurvy, a debilitating illness caused...
Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up
The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal.
"We're...
Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time
The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
Mecca Bingo rebrands as Bethlehem Number Snap
Britain's biggest bingo operator Mecca Bingo is to be rebranded "Bethlehem Number Snap" following pressure from right wing political groups a spokesman for Mecca's...
John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
“Go Back to where you came from!” -Say 1970’s
In a shock statement today the 1970's have told 2016 to go back to its own timeline where it belongs.
In July a third of...
British Patriots demand Register of Terrorists
Paul Golding has picked up the baton from Nick Griffin today in calling for a Register of Potential Terrorists.
The call comes in the wake...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Service improves slightly as RMT union goes on strike
Thousands of commuters are experiencing slightly better service than normal this morning as members of the RMT union have gone on strike.
"I knew my...
David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
