People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year.

“It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I can’t believe people are still having opinions that differ from my own! It’s 2017 for Cripe’s sake!”

Feminist activist Fisty McSplinter told us “I am a progressive! I think everybody should have progressed to my sophisticated level of consciousness by now! Opinions other than mine are so 1984 and should be banned immediately.”

Dr Honda Fence of Rochdale Community University’s Philosophy, Needlework and Armchair Appreciation Studies Dept begs to differ: “I’m not sure what the logic is here. How does the fact that it’s now mean that whatever you believe is right? Do they really believe that anybody who thinks different is temporally dislocated? It’s a non sequitur. Besides they were saying they were right because it was 2016 only a few months ago!”

However David McTory of Flagging Poll in Dumfries found fault with the Doctor’s position: “Anybody who thinks differently to how I think or doesn’t feel offended by the things I feel is just wrong and living in the past. It’s obvious that if I think something now, it’s an idea of its time and the pinnacle of philosophical and intellectual human evolution.”

So there you have it. If somebody says something you disagree with just point out that it’s the current year and they’ll suddenly realise that you’re right and they’re a Neanderthal idiot.

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When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.