Is Bank of England endangering health of cocaine users
A casual cocaine user from Rochdale has accused the Bank of England of intentionally trying to injure and poison him with the new fiver.
Nathan...
Clocks won’t go back this month due to EU ruling
The European Union and the UK Government have agreed that the UK's clocks won't go back an hour in October this year or change...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
DUP explains kneecapping naughtier than running through wheat field
Talks between the Conservatives and the DUP are said to be ongoing as the PM desperately tries to cobble together a slim working majority...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife confirms she now has 6 more Premier League winner’s medals than...
Dragon philanderer, Ryan Giggs’ ex-wife Stacey Giggs, spoke of her excitement today as she is finally set to be awarded half of the Giggs...
Britain buoyed by approval of Autumn Olympics
There were wild scenes of celebration from keen athletics fans up and down the UK this morning, as the head of the Seasonal Olympics...
Post Office denies responsibility for items lost in Post
Today The Post Office officially denied responsibility for undelivered items getting lost in the postal system.
Post Office spokespostie, Patrick Clifton, told The Herald;
"It's the...
I’ve never danced on a ceiling, confession SHOCK
Rumours are rife about the quite tall, big-faced singing star after he has "fessed up" to not dancing on ceilings.
The 80's porkie-pie uttering...
“Leave scientists” confused by spoon
Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Teresa May in Dogging Scandal
This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Bullshit to power Westminster by 2025 say Greens
Pure bullshit from the House of Commons is to be converted into useful energy to power the City of Westminster, the Green Party has...
The Shard ‘nearly finished’
The Shard in London is nearing completion, according to developers.
Once finished, it will stand at 310m and will be the tallest building in the...
Downing Street orders all fans removed as Storm Stable hits UK
Theresa May has ordered all fans removed from government premises immediately to limit the damage of Storm Stable.
The storm is already sweeping across the...
