The Chancellor Philip Hammond offered much needed clarity on the government’s Brexit project today, by confirming it will enter a transition period which will end when the EU tells the UK it ends.
Mr Hammond released a statement via the Herald to make sure everyone understood what this means,
“As we are seeing every day with Brexit, we have taken back control of another area of the multitude in which the United Kingdom interacts with the world and given it straight to another power. The length and duration of any post Brexit transition period will be exactly the same.”
Clarity for businesses
This statement will offer much needed clarity to the business community, who have lately been demanding to know just how long they have to get out of dodge before the town gates slam shut?
“If all goes as I hope, no one in the UK will notice much change after the date of Brexit in 2019, with the exception that their job is now located in the east of Europe and that some of their neighbours with continental accents left in a bad temper before the end of March 2019.
“Also, maybe their money is now called the Atlantic Peso, oh, and they can’t get cancer treatment or catch an airline anymore. And maybe food costs so much they will start eating their pets for meat, after they’ve knocked off their neighbour’s pets.
“Oh, and perhaps Brits now have to pay for a visa to go across the channel and queue a really long time just to get into France.
“Then perhaps the next jungle refugee camp to be established in France will be located in Dover, just to really irritate Nigel Farage and his ilk.
“Furthermore, perhaps we will keep losing votes on any international matters because we’ve basically turned ourselves into a pariah state by tearing up agreements established over many decades that no one from the outside can see any reason to tear up except for Donald Trump. He, however, will have been impeached by the end of March 2019, so he’s not much use.
“But most likely Boris will still be our international representative, so no one will really notice any difference. It’s going to be painless and smooth, much like a full back, sack and crack wax.”
Agreement to follow
The transition period has not publicly been agreed to by anyone representing the EU yet, but that is a minor detail because, as we have seen with everything Brexit so far, they’ll just fall in line and do what we tell them to do.
They’ll have to because they need us much more than we do them.
