• The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we’re running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering steam now.

So far you’ve bought 2,644 presents. We think that would fill two articulated lorries!

Today you bought 250 presents for Barnado’s which will be shipped to the North West hub to be distributed around women’s shelters and young carers in Manchester, Liverpool and the surrounding areas from tomorrow.

Yesterday you bought about the same for the Cash for Kids Appeal that Bauer Media are running at Radio Aire in Leeds and the gifts began arriving today.

Rochdale Borough Council’s Staff Charity has received about 500 gifts so far with more on the way and sent us a message this evening telling us that they have all the good logistical problems or trying out to figure where on earth to put them all. The clear desk policy is out of the window.

Odeon Cinemas in Rochdale have pledged vouchers for cinema tickets for teenagers in Rochdale, numbers to follow soon, but thanks Dan at the Odeon in Rochdale!

Southend Borough Council have begun removing the packaging from their 700 odd presents and are hand inflating footballs and wrapping hundreds of boxes of Lego and Play Doh as I write this. Go to the Southend News Network facebook page to see your presents in the sorting rooms.

It’s all very exciting and EXTREMELY Christmassy. BUT. We need more presents. The shocking fact is that in West Yorkshire alone about 22,000 children will wake up without a present on Christmas morning.

But what can I do, you might ask.

Go to satireaid.co.uk and buy a present that’s what you can do.

We’ve chosen a range of gifts to suit every budget.

Choose a present, buy it and the rest will be taken care of by the hundreds of volunteers who sort and distribute these gifts every year around the country.

If you can’t do that you can help us by sharing the link www.satireaid.co.uk with your friends and asking people on social media to do the same.

Jason Manford retweeted us yesterday. Thanks Jason, could you all ask John Bishop to do the same?

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.