America To Be Renamed Trumptopia
Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself.
In a press conference,...
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs
A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged.
Music fan Lennie Payne...
Rochdale Herald unaffected by patriotic Tory policy to censor Internet
Excellent Tory plan is embraced by all writers of most patriotic newspaper in North of England
In response to a letter from that most patriotic...
Medical advances mean some students might survive long enough to pay back debts PM...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Rats accuse Boris Johnson and David Davis of Cultural Appropriation
Yesterday following a heated meeting over Brexit David Davis and Boris Johnson resigned from their positions as Minister for Brexit and Foreign Secretary respectively.
The...
Top Tories Converse to win yoof vote
Prime Minister Theresa May today ditched her kitten heels and turned out to the Commons wearing a pair of Chuck Taylor black and white...
Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy?
Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Terror as scientists find link between Daily Mail and racist pensioners
Following an uncomfortable family dinner with her parents, local woman Karen Smith, 28, reported to friends yesterday that she fears mirroring their gradual decline...
Police find cannabis farm at Rochdale old folks home
Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning.
Police describe the haul as a kick in the...
Owen Smith thrilled with shiny new campaign bus
Owen Smith is said to be delighted with his shiny new campaign bus.
"It's brilliant!" he sang. "It shits all over Corbyn's campaign bike"
Smith drew...
Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong
MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him.
The angry parliamentary member...
Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...
Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP
Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.
