Marvel say Super-Gonorrhoea ‘unlikely’ to feature in new Avengers movie
Marvel Studios have confirmed that there are currently no plans for the gonorrhoea 'superbug' to star in its next instalment of the Avengers franchise.
Referred to...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Angry Bake Off viewers demand Noel Fielding ‘get back in the effing fridge’
Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics.
Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of...
Government exempts itself from report on racism
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
A1 to Durham renamed The Dominic Cummings Expressway
The A1(M) between Aberford and Durham has been officially redesignated the Dominic Cummings Expressway in recognition of its primary purpose of conveying the 'Special'...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement.
Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said;
"We...
Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...
Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim
Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract
There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time.
The news...
DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Celebrity chefs ranked most important profession in the world
In an online survey comprising over 10,000 people, Celebrity Chefs ranked number 1 in a choice of 100 of the most important and influential...
Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax
Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
