Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team
The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...
Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone
The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...
Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home
Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!
This Generation of British Bulldogs could be the last
In an astonishing move by the Kennel Club, the standards committee has released a press statement saying that if Britain decides to stay within...
Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting
The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...
Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media
White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices
Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it.
Professor Frederick Seddon...
May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris
Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...
Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower
IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted. One fist from a pensioner...
Judgemental twat who starts every opinion with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ definitely is...
A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being...
Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court
The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...
NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers.
NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ?
"We needed someone...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter
The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020.
"My pension doesn't cover the...
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
