Billy Bush reinstated after “Today” apologises to him
Billy Bush is to return to the Today programme after receiving a grovelling apology from the network owners.
They have also sacked the producers and...
Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.
The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus.
Having been tested for Coronavirus on...
Global Markets panic as #BoycottEverything goes viral on Twitter
Capitalism is on the verge of a complete irreversible collapse top Economists revealed today with the entire system due to crash, burn, explode and...
Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.
With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced.
Weighing in...
Crap internet in rural Scotland and Wales is good for the NHS says Westminster
One in five people, or 20% of the people in large areas of Scotland and Wales have not been online in the last three...
Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...
Government reassures that Brexit talk delays are all part of the plan
Number 10 has today reassured the Rochdale Herald that everything is in good order and that they do, in fact, know what they are...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Newcastle United fans looking forward to renewed access to match pies and beer
The Toon Army are rejoicing following the news that Sports Direct Entrepreneur Sweat Shop owner, Mike Ashley, is to sell the Magpies.
Realising that he...
Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March
Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a...
Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay
The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Police call time on sex pests
Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today.
The new devices...
Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving.
One local, Anni...
Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age
Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...
Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.
After...
Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock
Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.
After coming under increasing pressure from...
