New VW Eco-Diesel Car Scraps Itself In Event Of Ecological Disaster
Volkswagen announced the launch date for the VW Plannett Fuckerr, their new eco-friendly diesel family saloon today, assuring customers that this is 'the most...
Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal
In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal.
White,...
Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show
Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...
Buzz Aldrin says not punching Trump is his greatest achievement
Buzz Aldrin has suprised many today by saying that his greatest achievement is not punching Donald Trump. Mr Aldrin attended an event where the...
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...
Andy Murray’s Mum still won’t let him quit tennis club
The Rochdale Herald has discovered that Andy Murray's Mum still won't let him quit tennis club.
"She promised me that if I won Wimbledon I...
Ant McPartlin forced to have Anti-Drink-Driving Billboard attached to Forehead as Punishment for DUI
London, England- Embroiled host Ant McPartlin will be hosting something new. While waiting to see what the final outcome of his DUI arrest, Ant...
Thatcher to be resurrected on Halloween night to put the caring back into the...
The office of the prime minister has reassured the nation this morning by announcing that patron saint of Toryism, Margaret Thatcher, is to be...
Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...
Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement.
Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said;
"We...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious
Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait
Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz.
Before he clicked...
Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.
X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening.
To celebrate the new series we at...
