Idris Elba to play Duke of Wellington
In what has been seen as an homage to Brexit, Idris Elba is to take on the role of The Duke of Wellington in...
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...
Beer thieving ‘Ross’ looklike sentenced to watch every single episode of ‘Friends’.
A shoplifting, David Schwimmer look-a-like has been sentenced to watch every single episode of 'Friends' in one sitting, including 'The One Where They Were...
Jose mourinho assures Spain ‘money was just resting in my account’
Jose Mourinho has sought to reassure the Spanish tax office that the £3m he is alleged to owe them in unpaid taxes has in...
UK insists EU to have custody of Farage at weekends in Brexit divorce settlement
As part of the Brexit divorce settlement the EU has agreed to have Nigel Farage at weekends.
In exchange for the financial settlement, believed...
Parliament summoned for cross party reshuffle
An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.
With the Tories fighting each...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”
Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up.
"I never intended it" he...
Michael Gove says – I’m sick of experts, and by experts I mean Canadians...
Michael Gove has once again hit out at "experts" at The Bank of England.
Trump redefines Pre-existing Conditions as type of terror
A new kind of terrorism is trying to destroy the great American dream, according to the Trump Administration today.
“Pre-existing conditions are trying to ruin...
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Burnley Piss Artist awarded lucrative Arts Council Grant
George Barns (56), life-long Burnley resident, and winner of the coveted Piss Artist of The Year Trophy, has been awarded a lucrative Arts Council...
Archbishop Suspended By Labour Over Historically Discredited Old Testament
Labour have suspended Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury.
In an enquiry it was claimed that the Archbishop, 53, had been reported to the Labour...
If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Fatties looking forward to annual visit to gym
Treadmills and exercise bikes across the country are being reinforced and production of industrial strength lycra is at record levels as the annual rush...
Brexit racists OUTRAGED by Labour’s custom made betrayal
News broke over the weekend of a shocking Brexit betrayal by the weak Labour leadership that has seen Brexit racists OUTRAGED.
Keir Starmer, never one...
