Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas
The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...
Irish Garda stalk Stephen Hawking in Richard Dawkins blasphemy mix up
After the recent news that Stephen Fry is to be stoned to death by Irish authorities for calling God 'a bit of dick', the Irish...
‘Human Ken Dodd’ reveals inspiration behind unique look
After undergoing five surgeries, changing his name by deed poll and buying a feather duster, there's no denying that Barry Conroy now bears more...
Corbyn confirmed as ‘not Messiah, but a very naughty boy’
In a shock revelation today, it has been confirmed that the Labour leader and General Election candidate Jeremy Corbyn is not in fact the...
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Corbyn delighted to hear of Monarch’s collapse
Jeremy Corbyn gleefully whistled whilst spreading marmalade across his toast this morning, as a result of Monarch airline going bust, according to his neighbour.
Burt...
Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”
Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It's a...
Harry and Meghan to take holiday from going on holiday
The palace has revealed this morning that plans are in place to give the Duke and Duchess of Sussex a well deserved break from...
Shock as traces of vegetables found in supermarket ready meals
Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables.
A...
Woman dismayed by number of volunteers after threatening Facebook cull
A Rochdale woman today described feeling 'shocked and disappointed' by the number of people who volunteered to be removed from her friends list after...
Jacob Rees-Mogg is a twat, confirms Jesus
In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a "complete twat."
Speaking from his spaceship's jacuzzi...
Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy
A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer exists
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer exists, more than a year after he...
