Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

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Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Rees Mogg Farage

Massive bell end demands to hear massive bell end our EU relationship

11
Jacob Rees-moog is leading a rabble of conservative political bell ends drunk on Prosecco demanding to hear a big bell chime on the day...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

0
Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...

Islam a lifestyle choice, says man who chose rabidly Islamophobic lifestyle

0
In a desperate attempt to justify religious persecution, a foaming bigot from Croydon has declared that Islam is a lifestyle choice and therefore fair...
Fast Train

Petition to slow trains to Birmingham to walking pace hits 70 million signatures

A petition to slow down trains headed to Birmingham from London has hit almost 70 million signatures in under two hours today. “Why on Earth...

BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break

0
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

46
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis

10
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
David Davis U-turn

David Davis fails to negotiate corner on way to Brexit talks

0
Brexit supremo David Davis has suffered a minor road accident when he tried, and failed, to negotiate a corner. Healthcare professionals were on the scene...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

0
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea...

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

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The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.

Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet

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The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

0
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next...

Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics

34
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...

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