UKIP launch party leader toy doll (with interchangeable head)
The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
MP’s take well deserved autumn break after sorting out all UK’s problems
Westminster is demob happy today as hundreds of MPs pack their bags and await their family’s driver to come and collect them for half...
Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas
As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...
Government to end NHS bed shortage by installing bunk beds
Health - A recent Government initiative has been announced to replace traditional hospital beds with bunk beds. This scheme was recently trialed in one...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January.
In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...
Artisan coffee is actually just coffee, admits pretentious twat
A pretentious twat from Rochdale has admitted that so-called artisan coffee is actually just the same as all other coffee, just a bit more...
Rochdale discovered to be genius hotspot
Online tests have revealed that the majority of Rochdale residents have above genius IQ levels with the town having an average score of 132.
The...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss.
Handsome Prince...
E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire
E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or
Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.
East goes west in latest Celebrity Bushtucker Trial
"I'm pleased to have played my part though I won't be joining camp for dinner. I'm stuffed."
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
