Corbyn washes feet of the poor in Belgravia
Our saviour, JC, for it was he, seen on the streets of Belgravia.
Blessed are the poor, the meek, and the lowly. For lo, their...
No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.
“We have...
Billy Bush reinstated after “Today” apologises to him
Billy Bush is to return to the Today programme after receiving a grovelling apology from the network owners.
They have also sacked the producers and...
Politicians vote in favour of restarting the Cold War
Having had 27 years to think about it the House of Commons voted this evening almost 4 to 1 in favour of restarting the...
Rochdale Herald attempts to break world record for the longest newspaper headline ever ends...
All at the Herald are devastated said Doris the tea lady.
Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
John Noakes to be buried in coffin he made earlier
The late John Noakes, it has been revealed, made his own coffin in preparation for his death. Exactly when he did this is not...
Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge
Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...
God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’
Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus.
Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Government’s Brexit White Paper revealed
The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail...
EU to Trigger “Article 51” & Offer Britain “A Job in Telesales” After Trump...
Donald Tusk, President if the EU Commission, has said that Britain can have "a special relationship" with the EU which includes all telesales, street canvassing and "hygiene services" jobs following Donald Trump's victory.
Labour MPs win right for toilet break during final vote on Brexit deal
After a tense round of debating in the house of commons Labour MPs succeeded in forcing through an amendment to the Brexit bill which...
Jacob Rees-Mogg descended from German immigrants genieologists confirm
Plans by eccentric far right conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg to be elected leader of the Conservative party have been delivered a body blow as...
Amnesty International petition UN to halt Southern Rail human rights abuses
Southern announced today that the endless years of appalling service were over.
"We've been building to this moment." Someguywhohatespeoplesaid. "And today
I can announce that we're replacing...
Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening shows concern for pupils “Not talk good”
In the UK, education has always been of paramount significance, on par with the National Health Service, or ensuring that MPs have enough income...
Man with double-barrelled surname good at cricket.
MCC members expressed their delight yesterday that at long last someone with a proper surname was good at cricket.
"It's a shame young Toby Roland-Jones...




















































