E. Begum granted permission to return to Rochdale from that there Yorkshire

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E. Begum should be allowed to return to Rochdale to fight the decision to remove her rights to live on our side of the...
Elderly couple

Daily Express forecasts two feet of dead pensioners will fall in Central London by...

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The Daily Express has warned readers that 20% of them will die this week because of the "Beast from the east". Pensioner, Stan Still said,...
German Police Train Station

British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...

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A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

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Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...
Gibraltar

Gibraltar dispute with Spain jeopardises Leave voters’ retirement plans

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Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier...
Rochdale Primary School

Rochdale primary school issues apology after asking kids to ‘black up’ for school play

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Scandal has again rocked the beautiful town of Rochdale this morning when news came to us of a local school that remarkably asked its...

Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...

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Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
Harvey Weinstein

Really Respectable Reputation of Casting Couch Crushed as Absolutely Amazing Allegations Horrify Hollywood Hierarchy

9
Hollywood, nay, America, nay the whole World, has been rocked to its core by allegations that a man abused his position of power, as...
child

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

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A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...

Death, Taxes and Rail Fare rises

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A report issued by the TUC today shows that rail fares are rising twice as fast as commuters levels of despair. The trades union...

Tory membership livid at Leadsom withdrawal

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

4
Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...

Sign up to the daily Rochdale Herald newsletter

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The technical gods at The Rochdale Herald have built a very special daily newsletter that goes out every few days by email. If you want...
George Michael

George Michael dead after ‘giving away’ 33rd heart

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The 80’s pop sensation, 90’s cop-bothering loiterer and noughties stoner George Michael sadly died at home 'peacefully in his sleep.' The Wham! front man was...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.

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