Facebook war between cyclists and motorists over as Froome takes one for the team

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The cyclist/motorist war is over after Chris Froome stepped up and took the knock that all motorists claim cyclists have deserved for the last...
Boris Johnson

Allegations 15,000 dick pics discovered on Boris Johnson’s Foreign Office issued mobile phone

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The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000...

Sneaky German declares Last Goal’s the Winner and takes ball home

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Sneaky German and part-time Finn Nico Rosberg has pulled off the all-time-shittiest Schoolboy trick by declaring the last goal the winner as the ball was already in the net!

This Generation of British Bulldogs could be the last

2
In an astonishing move by the Kennel Club, the standards committee has released a press statement saying that if Britain decides to stay within...

Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting

The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...
Knickersw with Trump written on them

Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media

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  White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...

Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada

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Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Drinking Wine

Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices

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Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon...
Theresa May

May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant, says Lord Harris

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Carpet magnate Lord Harris has given May a high-quality luxury carpeting. "May is a dead duck pushing a white elephant" is not quite what...

Tommy Robinson fisted by pensioner in prison shower

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IReports from Belmarsh are that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, the tiny provocateur with the Timmy Mallet inspired pseudonym has been fisted.  One fist from a pensioner...

Judgemental twat who starts every opinion with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ definitely is...

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A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being...
Supreme Court

Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court

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The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...

NHS recruit Clippit the Paperclip to defend against hackers. 

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NHS boffins have rolled out the big guns this week, spending over half of their £42.50 IT budget on futuristic anti-virus software. ? "We needed someone...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...

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