Husband fails to avoid loaded question
A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...
TERRIFYING new data reveals DANGER of reading Trump tweets about COMMERCIAL AIRLINES.
The latest figures covering deaths on American commercial airlines have shown a spectacular rise of OVER 1 MILLION per cent in 2017.
The...
This is your eighty seventh and FINAL warning Corbyn tells Labour MPs
After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin's unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has...
Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists
After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many...
The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today.
David "What Am I...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded
Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
British Homeopathy Association to strike over watered down labelling
The British Homeopathy Association has announced a planned strike over government plans to label their medication as being ‘useless’.
The head of the British Homeopathic Association...
Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016
Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted...
UK threaten Russia with voting Nul Points at Eurovision
In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
