Henry Bolton Declares vote of No Confidence in UKIP

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UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to...

Auschwitz could be next Centre Parcs if they just knock down the gas chambers

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A Government official is alleged to have told an audience at a fringe event of the Conservative Party conference that Auschwitz could become a...

Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards

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Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
NHS

Britain shows appreciation for NHS by funding it properly

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Britain has decided to show its appreciation for the NHS by funding it properly.  The nation has made the decision that it doesn't matter...
Ant and Dec

Ant and Dec to serve 6 months in Wormwood Scrubs together as judge couldn’t...

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Comedy duo and twin brothers Ant and Dec are to serve a six month sentence together in Wormwood Scrubs prison. The unusual move has come...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

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Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
Rochdale paramedics

Husband fails to avoid loaded question

A Rochdale man is currently receiving counselling and treatment for first-degree burns after failing to give the correct answer to a blatantly loaded question...

US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact

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Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...

Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March

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Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...

Homeopathy shop closed after vegan snake oil found to contain old wives tails

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A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

World Health Organisation upgrades five-second rule to three seconds rule

The World Health Organisation has taken the unprecedented step of upgrading the five-second rule to just three seconds. As the deadly Coronavirus pandemic sweeps the...

Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…

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Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...

Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.

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The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late. Now the UK government has come up...

Vegan banned from Vegetarian Club when she says quinoa “tastes like chicken”

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Food plays a huge part in our lives, many of us enjoying it almost every day. Ever since rationing was no longer necessary in the...

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