Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary
Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...
Tangled wires defy all laws of physics, confirm scientists
A study has proven that any one wire left unattended for 5 minutes, will tangle itself beyond the laws of physics.
The physics department of...
Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them
Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
Theresa May sanctioned by ATOS for missing Woman’s Hour Interview
The Herald has learned that Theresa May is facing sanctions by ATOS today after missing two job interviews in a row.
The soon to be...
Far Right groups threaten to tear down statues of Prophet Mohammed
Far right groups have pledged to tear down all statues of the Prophet Mohammed following the recent scoop in the Daily Express that the...
Chances of Patel having job by Christmas looking Priti grim
Theresa May's office has commented on the departure from the usual policy of ministers confining themselves to work on behalf of the country, and...
Hipster MP demanding new laws be written on slate
We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.
Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home
The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...
Middle class parents convert to Satanism after local cult school gets glowing Ofsted report
Local couple Rupert and Penelope Mills have reportedly converted to Satanism in order to get their children into the local cult school after it...
Emperor Trump appoints frog-faced racist as UK ambassador to US
In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced...
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...
Stop being rebellious formerly rebellious Labour rebel tells rebellious Labour rebels
The formerly rebellious Labour rebel, Jeremy Corbyn, has told rebellious Labour rebels to stop being rebellious or else.
OED to honour Nigel Farage with his own word – A farage
Following the failure of a parliamentary motion to ennoble seven times unelected former UKIP leader Nigel Farage with a peerage or a knighthood, the Oxford English...
Sending emails much worse than raping children Trump tells supporters
Donald Trump told supporters at a rally today that accusations that Hillary Clinton mishandled emails during her tenure as Secretary of State were much...
