Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
“Curling is so boring I needed vodka Red Bulls to stay awake” says banned...
As the Olympic curling competition reaches its 14th straight day, Russian athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky has tested positive for the stimulant RedBull and been banished...
Amazon to train Animals to deliver your parcels
The world's largest internet retailer, and tax avoiding giant, Amazon are rumored to be conducting secret trials using animals to deliver parcels to your...
Goldie melts down OBE to replace pawned gold tooth
DJ and alleged actor, Goldie, has vowed to melt down his MBE under the guise of moral outrage about some club somewhere closing down.
The...
‘So what?’ ask arseholes in response to significant event
Football fans across the UK went out of their way this week to prove that their point-missing dim-wittedness was ‘by far the greatest stupidity...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
Farage exposed as Russian “mole”, according to Rochdale medium
Rochdale medium Mrs Isadore Goggins today revealed that Nigel Farage is a Russian mole bent on destroying the UK, the EU and the US.
The news was...
Thomas Cook passengers choosing ride share with refugees rather than Ryanair
Thomas Cook, one of the world's oldest travel providers has gone into liquidation, meaning thousands of job losses and over a hundred thousand holidays...
Sports Personality of the Year changed to ‘Sportsperson’ After Trade Descriptions Probe
The BBC has announced that their annual jockfest 'Sports Personality of the Year' is to be renamed 'Sportsperson of the Year' following an investigation...
Pray for your health suckers says Mike Pence
The Rev Mike Pence, deputy pastor at the Church of the Poison Mind, Washington, DC, has been quoted as saying "What the American people need...
New age verification tests to be brought in for asylum seekers
Following public outcry that someone who has had their home blown to smithereens might be so desperate as to embellish the truth in order to seek sanctuary.
London residents devasted by Uber news
The news from TFL that taxi firm Uber will lose its licence to operate in London has devastated residents of the city's popular western...
BBC Radio 2 breakfast show ratings soar, as listeners want their bloody money’s worth
As the dust starts to settle on Terry Wogan's grave after being disturbed so much by him spinning in it, the Rochdale Herald can...
Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
No binary education says May
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw
BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
