Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

0
Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
Boris Johnson

“Operation Cumshot” – UK gov commits to spunking £100bn on wizard wheeze

0
The UK government has announce a new initiative to spend £100bn on a COVID-19 testing programme, the Rochdale Herald has learned. The initiative, the budget...
Trump Tick

Twitter removes blue tick from Donald Trump’s account

0
In the latest shake-up to twitter's format, the website have taken to removing the ticks from people for various reasons. Hatemongers have been particularly...
Raining Money

FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal

0
The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Rees Mogg

Freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg to win back Conservative youth vote

32
In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs. The...

Bank Holiday Not Fucking  Long Enough Decide People 

1
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald. "It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...

Firefighters summoned to giant pants fire after Boris repeats inflammatory £350M NHS claim

18
Firefighters were summoned to a giant pants fire this morning after Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson repeated his £350M NHS Brexit claim. The emergency services responded...

BBC confirm David Icke to host next series of Saturday Kitchen

0
There was good news for truth seekers, Illuminati exposers and the generally paranoid today, as the BBC confirmed the Son of God David Icke...

FA enquiries into unusual betting

0
The Football Association today launched an inquiry into what it described as 'very bizarre' wagers placed with bookies regarding recent matches. The FA spokesman, Brian...

Daily Mail issue apology for calling white mosque shooter a terrorist

1
There was chaos in The Daily Mail Newsroom this morning as they scrambled to reset copy before going to press after the gunman who...

‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa

0
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...

Scientists name new species of pot-bellied pig after Paul Golding

0
Hot on the heels of naming a new species of shrimp after wall breaking rockers Pink Floyd, zoologists have named a newly discovered sub-species...

Man dry retches vital organs up after remote batteries die during episode of The...

0
Keith Lambert sadly passed yesterday evening, after an horrific coughing fit which was brought on by the prospect of enduring a full hour of...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

0
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

0
A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan caught rummaging through bins looking for the smirk that’s been wiped off...

0
Voice mail enthusiast and professional shit stirrer, Piers Morgan, has been spotted scouring the bins behind a Lidl in Hammersmith. The toe faced smarm slinger...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts