Michael McIntyre

Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future

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The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational...
Theresa May

You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50

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Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...

Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’

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President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...

GBBO causes football fracas

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It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...

Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

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A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Cherie Blair

Tony Blair’s legacy like that of a modern day Churchill, confirms Justice Cherie Booth

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Justice Cherie Booth has ruled in a landmark case that the former Prime Minister cannot be prosecuted over the Iraq War. Former Iraqi General Abdul...
Blue Passport

People’s Republic of Kensington wins oxymoron of the year award

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The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step...

Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…

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An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Britannia Hotel

Homeless virgin gives birth in Britannia Hotel car park after being told no room...

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News is coming in that a homeless virgin has given birth to a baby boy in the car park of the Royal Hull Hotel...

Daily Mail readers cancel WWF donations after discovering pandas aren’t native to Britain

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Daily Mail 'readers' have been cancelling donations to the World Wildlife Fund today after the newspaper revealed that it helps wildlife not native to...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

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As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's...
Supreme Court

Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court

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The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

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UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...
Ant and Dec

Ant McPartlin forced to have Anti-Drink-Driving Billboard attached to Forehead as Punishment for DUI

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London, England- Embroiled host Ant McPartlin will be hosting something new. While waiting to see what the final outcome of his DUI arrest, Ant...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Newspaper sellers to take precautions.

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Newsagents and shops where papers are sold all over the UK are being urged by the Health and Safety Executive to take extra precautions...

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