Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint
A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Southern Trains to rebrand as Southern Replacement Bus Service
There was more great news for commuters across the Southeast after Trading Standards and the Advertising Standards authority waded in on the long running Southern Trains dispute.
Britain declares national state of Armagammon
An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today.
One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be...
Wildfire at Huddersfield housing estate as family of partridges lose control of barbecue
A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended.
The estate of roughly...
Daily Mail wins award for inciteful journalism
The Daily Mail Editor has collected another prestigious award, in a glittering events ceremony in the Dubai International Finance Centre (“DIFC”).
Editor Paul Dacre...
Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst
Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...
Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each
Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to...
In absence of dragons, brave knight slays thousands of poor, disabled and homeless
Albion; pleasant, fair and green
In the year of our Lord, 2020
Dragons were few and seldom seen,
Yet poor folk were a plenty
Though dragons were vanquished...
Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car
Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Local man in critical condition after accidentally hearing Vanessa Feltz on the radio
A local man is in a critical but stable condition at Rochdale General Infirmary after accidentally driving off a bridge into the River Roch...
Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!
England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...
UKIP launch party leader toy doll (with interchangeable head)
The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a...
Big penis denies any link to Romelu Lukaku
A big penis has spoken out today to deny any attachment to Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku.
Speaking to reporters outside his home address, the...
Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish".
As finger after taloned finger...
Good Friday wasn’t one of my best Fridays admits Jesus
Jesus H Christ has taken to social media in support of Tesco saying that, despite claims by religious extremists Good Friday was actually a...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
