Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

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Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people...

Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...

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Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode  in which human bile balloon, Katie...

Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

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After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

Scientists confirm tea tastes better when somebody else makes it

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Researchers from Rochdale Community University have confirmed after years of extensive research that tea tastes loads better when somebody else has made it. Maurice Tips,...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Jeremy Corbyn wins coveted Empty Suit award

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't...
Putin

Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show

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Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...

Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday

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Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

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The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...

Rail Companies to simplify process of deciding which is the worst

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Following recent criticism from the rail regulator, Train operating companies (TOCs) are to make it easier for travellers to decide which has the worst...

Safest pub in all of Yorkshire has been named

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A York pub has been named as the safest in the county. The White Hart, on Micklegate, has achieved the “zero bother” standard in the...
Big Ben

Bullshit to power Westminster by 2025 say Greens

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Pure bullshit from the House of Commons is to be converted into useful energy to power the City of Westminster, the Green Party has...

Coronavirus equals UK mortality rate of Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool

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The Government has announced that as many people in the UK have died from Coronavirus as have been found dead in Michael Barrymore's swimming...
Theresa May

Only a grammar truth in May’s PMQs

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In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa...

Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic

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UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...

Charlie Brooker commits suicide whilst writing his 2016 Wipe

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The much loved satirist repeatedly smashed his face into his own coffee table whilst reading through a draft of his hugely anticipated show. In the...

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