God Ruins Bake Off
This week's edition of Great British Bake Off was ruined when God interfered during Gay Cake Week.
The contestants had been asked to make Fairy...
Spain v Russia VAR officials wives and children released from captivity
Members of the VAR officials team for the Russia V Spain game have been speaking of their joy at being reunited with their families again.
The...
WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.
The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off.
"I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia
A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
Big 6 to impose “Christmas Levy” on consumers
The Big 6 electricity providers are set to impose a special levy on households deemed to have displays of more than 5 metres of...
Election Was Rigged Claims Trump – Recount Demanded
Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
New Britain First leader Wayne Cummings apparently not a made up name
Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...
Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level
Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...
World’s oldest Andrew Neil joke discovered in cave in France
Excavations at caves in Lascaux uncover the oldest as yet discovered Andrew Neil joke believed to date back almost 20,000 years.
An excited team of...
Prue Leith reveals Hawking final theory
Prue Leith, the famous cook, presenter and writer was recorded by several bystanders shouting Stephen Hawking’s ‘theory of everything’ at police while being detained...
Convertible car owner not as smug after leaving the top down last night
Sandra Numpton of Heywood has spent the last few days driving around in her convertible Mini Cooper, sun glasses on, hair in the wind,...
Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson
"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson."
Rochdale resident...
Total Coincidence that Virgin hospital take over and massive NHS cuts announced while parliament...
The Conservative Party today claimed once again that the NHS is "safe" in their hands, and denied that huge cuts to NHS services will...
Naked gym guy insists “I’m just high on life”
Reports are circulating that a middle aged man stripped stark bollock naked last night at local budget gym, LoveMuscle.
Eyewitnesses claim he was beating his...
