After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump
The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
Facebook establishes Ministry of Truth
In an effort to combat the rise in fake news stories appearing on the website’s feeds Facebook is to establish the Ministry of Truth.
Employees...
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed
Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed.
After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...
Scientists announce new Corbyn scale that measures inactivity
Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn.
Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying...
Nick Clegg and the Rise of the Alt-Righteous
The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours.
They vehemently reject mainstream opinions...
May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson
In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson...
Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage
In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be...
Royal Mail pledge to maintain the usual high levels of disappointing service this Christmas
As the services for various popular companies comes into question, with Uber and Ryanair being prime examples, Royal Mail has promised not to let...
Trump in Mexican standoff
Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.
Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
Mighty England’s thrilling World Cup opener – Yeah right!
England's opening match of the World Cup campaign was as dull as ditchwater proving that the news of Joe Hart's transfer from Man City...
