Orla Guerin to visit Rochdale
Residents of Rochdale were battening down the hatches and taking positions in bunkers as the Angel of Death Orla Guerin came to visit the...
Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies
A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it.
The...
Robots refusing cyber attack vaccine due to autism fears
The UK's robots have told the Government that they will refuse a vaccine that provides protection from computer viruses, over fears it could cause...
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince
The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.
Monster Raving Looney Party offers UKIP electoral pact
UKIP may have lost all but one of its local council seats in England and Wales, in a disastrous showing in local council elections...
Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
It’s not a popularity contest, really unpopular MP tells voters
An extremely unpopular MP has just informed voters that the upcoming general election is not a popularity contest.
The MP addressed the crowd and urged...
Nigella returns with a series on how to wank vegetables
After a 5 year absence from our screens while laying into toot, Nigella Lawson returns to our screens this week with a series dedicated...
Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia
A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
How the fuck do you follow THAT, Dave Grohl screams at Glastonbury organiser after...
Dave Grohl is alleged to have been quaking having to follow on from Jeremy Corbyn even exclaiming "How the f**k do we follow that."
Grohl...
Cuts in police lead to cuts in Londoners
Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality.
A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in...
Farage in critical condition after massive overdose
Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.
Public outcry as politician caught out telling the truth
Big news in the world of politics today where the Mayor of Rushcliffe has been lambasted for not lying. Christine Jeffreys, Mayor of Rushcliffe...
All contestants to win The Apprentice this year
The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
