What time is it Mr Woolfe?

Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Family Watching Television

ITV to rival Gogglebox with show about idiots watching morons watching television

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Channel 4 have been ratings kings for the last few years with their flagship show, Gogglebox.  In the surprise smash idiots get to watch...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Leamington to become post Brexit English capital

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The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...

ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.

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A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet...

Anger as ‘sexy Anjem Choudary’ costume outsells ‘sexy Tommy Robinson’ costume for first time

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There were angry reactions across the UK today after it was revealed that a popular 'slutty Tommy Robinson' Halloween costume has been outsold by...

Rochdale Exchange in disabled parking shake up

The Rochdale Exchange shopping centre has announced new plans for disabled parking at their 800 space multi-storey car park, The Rochdale Herald can reveal. "We're...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

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There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

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The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Michael Gove

Gove is still bonkers, say experts

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Michael Gove decided to stand up for those whose lack of self awareness is pathological today.

Armed Republican men protesting being told what do with their bodies

Heavily armed pro-life nitwits across America have taken to the streets in protest in being told to stay at home to save lives. The crowds...

Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown

Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown. An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...

Man Wastes Full Day watching repeats of Come Dine with Me

Distraught butcher Brendan Slaughter from Wigan was mortified to learn that it was 9:00pm last Sunday night when he had work at 5:00am.  "I was...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...

Power Hungry Admins Have New Axe To Wield

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With the advent of the all new ‘mute button’, passive, aggressive bitches everywhere are in their element. We spoke to one such angry woman,...

BBC Believes Last Labour Voter Now Extinct

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Naturalists have accused the BBC of poor science after it was revealed the broadcasting corporation believes there are no more Labour voters. The shock extinction...

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