Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn

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Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...

People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds

People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research. The study, which...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

BAFTA Life Time Achievement Awards given to every celebrity over 65

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BAFTA are "covering all bases" regarding the prestigious Life Time Award this year a spokesman has confirmed. Samuel Briggs said; "Basically we're giving one of...
Corbyn Elbow Patches

Scandal as Corbyn in the pocket of big elbow-patch manufacturing

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Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been...

Star Wars fan admits films a bit shit really 

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Massive Star Wars fan Derek Ducaccus has admitted that the entire series on the whole is a "bit shit if he was being honest."...

Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to nationalise The Conservative Party

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After repeated catastrophic errors by delinquent absentee management, the British Leyland and Unionists Party is on the edge of failure. The Tory Party has long...
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

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“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...

Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW

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A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...

Religious leader applauds honour killing in US

A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing...

James Corden to star in Paul Nuttall biopic

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International media sensation, corpulent bearded sex symbol and father of the year, James Corden is to take the starring role in a planned new...

Patriotic Brexiteer spends £60M on Singapore homes after saving £60M in UK Corporation Tax

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Patriotic billionaire Brexiteer, Singapore resident and tax exile James Dyson has just bought a £26M bungalow in Singapore weeks after buying a Penthouse in...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

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The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...

Dolly Parton to re-release classic ‘9 to 5’ as ‘8 to 6 on a...

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Music industry representatives were bouncing off walls this morning with the news that megastar Dolly Parton is to re-release her classic smash hit ‘9...
Blue Passport

Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue

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A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering. Cliff Edge...

John Inverdale to host ‘Dog Toy or Sex Toy’ at Wimbledon this year

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The BBC have announced that John Inverdale will present a dog toy or sextoy game during rain delays at this year's Wimbledon championships.  The move comes...

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