Theresa May Sectioned for safety after gibberish speech about Brexit
The Prime Minister was taken into protective custody at a secure mental health unit this afternoon, for her own safety.
A spokesperson for Meadows and...
Man with giant head appears on Ch4’s Grand Designs
A man with an unusually massive head denies he's up his own arse after appearing on channel 4s Grand Designs. The house featured the...
House of Commons to close for week to hold UK Cat Herding Championships
Following months of political turmoil in the UK and the shining example of incompetence that is the brexit negotiations, the political landscape is now...
Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20.
Similar riots took place...
Daily Mail readers boycott RSPB after it helps Canadian Goose
Daily Mail readers have been cancelling their subscriptions to the RSPB following reports that it helped a Canadian Goose that fell into a river.
One...
Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...
Apple to move to Battersea iStation
Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London's Battersea Power Station.
Mayor Sadiq Khan...
Southern Rail Boss to get by on £3,000,000 salary to show solidarity with commuters
David Brown of the Go Ahead and Keolis conglomerate that owns and runs Govia which owns the GTR that runs Southern Rail, said today...
OFSTED Chair in hot water over Rochdale “toilet block” comments?
Ofsted chairman and former complete banker David W Hoare is in hot water again after, according to our anonymous source, allegedly describing our beloved...
Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time
The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time.
It is understood...
Heck release new range of Boris Johnson porky pies
Sausage giant Heck has hosted giant sausage Boris Johnson at their Yorkshire factory for the unveiling of their latest new product.
The Boris Johnson Heck...
Co-worker with ‘resting bitch-face’ actually really nice
We all fear change in Rochdale especially when we meet new people and feel the tension building as we force small talk.
One local...
4,000 job cuts at HSBC after Columbian drug cartels move accounts to Barclays
HSBC has told investors today that around 2% of the company's workforce will be made redundant with the focus on anybody who hasn't got...
Homeopathy shop closed after vegan snake oil found to contain old wives tails
A Rochdale homeopathy shop has been forced to close this week after it was discovered to be selling vegan snake oil containing old wives...
Ryanair to start offering passengers a punch in the face for £12.99
Ryanair's Michael O'Leary has told passengers that the airline will start offering people a punch in the face for as little as £12.99 from...
Dogged Victory for Campaigners
The city was jubilant this morning after the news that a lengthy battle to grant one of Rochdale's most popular locations the status as...
