IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range

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Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

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Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.

OED announces Word Of The Year

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The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...

Flag Furore as Fans Face Fines

6
  An entire street on Rochdale's Newbold estate was threatened with fines on Monday - if they refuse to remove a multitude of flags from...
Jack Whitehall

Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic

Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...

Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year

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The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement  in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today. When asked what his motivation for such...

Politicians human too. Balls!

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Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...

Tim Farron quits politics to record Judy Garland cover album

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Tim Farron has sensationally quit the leadership of the Liberal Democrats this week to pursue a lifelong ambition to become a full time Judy Garland impersonator.

Bishop of Coventry confused over sexuality

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The Right Reverend Christopher Cocksworth has admitted to sexual confusion, after screwing up a General Synod vote on gay marriage. "I didn't know which way...

Five year old lemonade salesman found guilty of tax evasion after multi-million pound VAT...

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A five year old girl has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of tax evasion after a multi-million pound VAT investigation. The girl, clearly...

Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’

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Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe. "All that was left was his right...

UKIP Needs Image Change, Says Rest of UK.

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The UK has today agreed with former UKIP leadership challenger Suzanne Evans when she said the party needed an image change. Preferably to a...
Policing

Cuts in police lead to cuts in Londoners

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Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality. A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.

UKIP cancel party conference musical chairs event

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UKIP have announced that the musical chairs event that was to be held at their summer conference has been cancelled. The event at the Travelodge Nuneaton...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

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