Donald Trump ends democracy in America
I’ve decided Ivanka will come after me. I mean, she’s hot, and she has my gift with politics, so she’s the perfect choice
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
Trump makes it compulsory to carry guns in US
President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all...
Rochdale man who can’t explain what his job is tells people he’s a drug...
A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just...
Wonga provide financial aid package as Britain’s credit rating reduced
Payday loan provider Wonga has announced today that it has offered to step in and help the government. The move follows a further reduction...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Man Dressed As Batman Chasing Man Dressed As Clown Captured By Man Dressed As...
Rochdale Town Centre, and a man dressed as Batman who has been spotted in the locale chasing a man dressed as a Killer Clown...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Rising crime and falling numbers of police are incredible coincidence, insists Downing Street
Rising crime rates and the falling numbers of policemen on the streets are just an amazing coincidence and are in no way related, sources...
Satirists run out of ink
Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
Samsung unveil S1 at Burnley Tech Conference along with steam iron and Flymo
Gobsmacked attendees at the inaugural CES (Consumer Electronics Show) at Burnley Community Centre looked on in awe as Samsung unveiled its Galaxy S1 mobile...
Pothead Calls Kettle Black; Clinton Challenges Trump To TV Drug Blowout
Trump Challenges Clinton To Drug Test Prior To Next Debate - Clinton Lashes Back With Drug Taking Contest Challenge
US Election 2016; Following Donald Trump's...
Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...
Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...
Diabetes sufferers celebrate reduced risk with ‘messy weekend’
The news that top scientists have established that people who drink alcohol more regularly are less likely to develop diabetes.
The results found that...
‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging
Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...
Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard
A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning.
The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...
