Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

3
The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble...
Survivor

Last PPI claimant found alive and well

2
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.  After years of...

Wars of the Roses to be Re-Run

0
10 Downing Street has this morning announced that The Wars of the Roses are to be re-fought via a referendum for each decisive battle. It's...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

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Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...

6
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...

US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts

1
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

0
Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...

Disastrous mistake warns stopping Brexit would be disastrous mistake

0
A disastrous mistake will warn derailing Brexit will be a disastrous mistake in a speech about a falling over in public later today. In a...

Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

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Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

2
It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...
Man Shop

Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite

0
Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging...

Vegan runs Great South Run without telling anybody he’s a vegan

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A vegan has reportedly completed the Great South Run today without feeling the need to tell everyone.

Farron leaving politics to watch VHS of “Brokeback Mountain” in mountains with friend

9
Tim Farron, Leader of the Liberal Democrats is set to resign his position after an embarrassing swing in his constituency, that saw him slimmly...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...
Theresa May Converse

Theresa May won’t let Brit Gas 12.5% price hike ruin her hiking holiday

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What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May's taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she's previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn't really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.
magistrates court

Rochdale Man jailed for 15 years for leaving teabag in sink

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Rochdale man Steve Dickinson (38 and a half) has been convicted to 15 years in prison after being found guilty of leaving his teabag...

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