Ken Loach to direct next Star Wars film ‘Empire on Strike’ as gritty Northern...
Star Wars fans have been shocked by Disney's announcement that Star Wars episode IX will be directed by Ken Loach, who plans to pivot...
Satirist attempts to write Muhammad joke in bid to appease angry ‘Christians’
A writer for the internet's biggest Rochdale-based satire site, The Rochdale Herald, has spent the past 15 minutes trying to conjure up some sort...
Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas
Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football.
Rooney explained, "I've been all...
Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Piers and many other...
Jeremy Corbyn appoints his teddy bears and security blanket to cabinet
The leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn has just had to give all his friends in the tree-house gang another reprimand. Having failed...
Computer driven people are a menace say self-driven cars
Over the last ten years or so, humans have been becoming more and more computer-driven. Cars are speaking out against this worrying trend.
In a...
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
Jeremy Corbyn to cross floor to lead the Conservative Party
Written off as a hopeless loser, terrorist supporter and left-wing extremist at the start of last week's general election campaign, Jeremy Corbyn has risen...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant to release cover of Louis Armstrong’s Nobody Knows The...
Harvey Weinstein’s office pot plant, a large Ficus Lyrata Bambino, is to going to release a seven inch cover of the 1921 classic “Nobody...
“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...
A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Panic as 2015 Pence Tweet emerges stating ‘Genocide is wrong and unconstitutional’
The old Tweet was discovered just a day after another one of Pence's was found, also from 2015, which read 'Calls to ban Muslims...
Europol warns of New Wave jihadis
Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.
Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power
The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...
“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers
Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause
Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday...
