Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe
Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent.
The slogan...
Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election
After appointing her recently bereaved Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take
flack from 'the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally' - Daily Mail,
in...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range
Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff
The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves
Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved.
The...
Trump tells G7 steel tariffs will ensure weapons used for mass slaughter will be...
Donald Trump has announced that steel and aluminium import tariffs will mitigate concerns that the Assault Rifles used in mass shootings recently have not...
“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...
Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests.
Chopper...
Ed Millibland defeated again at PMQ’s
Leader of the Opposition, Boris Johnson, once again tore into Mr. Millibland's 'weak' and 'out of touch' Government.
Since successfully leading the remain campaign in...
Trump to rename Black Friday White Friday
Today news has reached us here at The Herald that President elect Donald Trump has insisted Black Friday (the traditional start of the festive...
Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead asked by Queen to prepare to govern
The Giant Fish Finger and Lord Buckethead have been asked by the Queen to prepare to govern Britain.
A spokesman for the Palace explained it...
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Do we really, really, really have to go out, asks everyone
Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they've gone through the fun bit...
