BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse
As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse.
The ambitious...
Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace
Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...
Getting from Leeds to Manchester 15 minutes quicker is top priority, says leader of...
The leader of a country full of hungry and homeless children has pledged to deploy all possible resources to shortening commuting times between Leeds...
Touching scenes as Rooney reunited with hair transplant donor
Footage has been revealed of the touching scenes when Wayne Rooney was reunited with his hair donor.
The meeting took place on the rock of...
Breaching FCO protocol isn’t just Priti bad, Israeli bad
From sitting Priti to up shit creek without a Patel
Former Secretary of State for International Development Priti Patel held undisclosed meetings in Israel accompanied...
Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh
The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick...
Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’
There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...
Government vow to provide every child with prayer mat by 2020 to promote multi-culturalism.
The thorny issue of the integration into society of immigrants, particularly Muslims, has been strained of late.
Now the UK government has come up...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...
‘Wiccan Masterchef’ and ‘The Sharifs Are Coming’ to head BBC’s new cultural diversity programming
Bosses at the BBC are poised to announce a list of new TV shows to better reflect the religious views of it's viewers.
As...
Nuttall Calls For Ban On Dwarfism
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously...
Nestlé announce Milky Bar Kid reboot
The public were thrilled today to learn that the classic Milky Bar adverts will be making a return to our television screens this autumn...
Brexit Halloween Threat
Preparations for the commercialisation of an ancient pagan tradition were thrown into disarray today when importers of Halloween costumes reported that due to poor...
Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die.
Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Failed withdrawal expected to lead to painful Labour
Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control. Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective.
On the face of it (which is...
