Terroist

British Patriots demand Register of Terrorists

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Paul Golding has picked up the baton from Nick Griffin today in calling for a Register of Potential Terrorists. The call comes in the wake...

Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

11
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

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An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...
Boris Johnson

Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber

In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...

Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms

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The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway. The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.

Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed

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Labour to part-nationalise BT as a quick way of getting their broadband fixed. After five engineer visits, four no-shows and five hours calling BT, Labour...
Kelvin Mackenzie South Yorkshire Police

Kelvin Mackenzie is a bellend says South Yorkshire Police

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South Yorkshire Police have taken the bold move to publicly call the former editor of the The Sun, Kelvin Mackenzie a "complete bellend" over...

Phil Spencer really was a Secret Agent

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In an ironic illustration of life imitating art it was revealed today that Channel 4 property porn star, Phil Spencer, really did operate as...

Watson Denies Corbyn Car Crash Rumours

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Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Tom Watson, has denied rumours that recent focus groups conducted by the party to determine popularity of alternative leaders involved simulated car accidents in which Jeremy Corbyn was involved in hit and run incidents.
Watership Down

Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down

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A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down. What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...
Tax avoidance Tax reform

Major newspapers not really committed to calling for reform of tax avoidance system for...

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The readership of Britain's newspapers say they're confused that the papers aren't being more assertive in calling for tax reform. Right wing press connoisseur, Cliff...

Herald Editor panic attack after millennial asks him “what is NATO?”

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was sectioned briefly today following a conversation with a millennial during which he was asked "what's NATO".
Boris Johnson Football

Gareth Southgate fields Boris in goal for Brexit bill penalty shoot out against Merkel’s...

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This morning's news that the tussle over the Brexit divorce bill will be decided with a winner takes all penalty shoot out between England...

Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.

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US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...

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