Ice Cream Van

Cost of mini milks going up?

0
MPs warned today that inflation is likely to increase to 3% in coming months and people are starting to worry. During this current heatwave or...

Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian

5
Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so...
Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg to train North Korean propaganda journalists

0
Gajja Ileum, a journalist for the Korean Worker's Party, has travelled from Pyongyang to London for a 2 week intensive training course in State Propaganda with...

Airlines grounded for Black Death containment

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Jeremy Rhymes-With has ordered the gargantuan and wealthy NHS to enact its Black Death emergency plan. Most of the staff were just weaving baskets anyway...

Idris Elba to play Duke of Wellington

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In what has been seen as an homage to Brexit, Idris Elba is to take on the role of The Duke of Wellington in...

UKIP elect Diane James leader

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UKIP have elected Diane James as their new leader. Apologies for our previous article that featured Mick Jagger from The Rollong Stones. Our intern Douglas has...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

11
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Nuttall lost close personal election in Stoke

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Tragedy stricken leader of UKIP, Paul Nuttall (105), faced fresh disaster yesterday when he lost a close personal election in Stoke. "Everything was looking good,...

Nigel Farage to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump

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The ‘Special Relationship’ between the United States and Britain is likely to get a lot stronger thanks to the efforts of Nigel Farage. He is to become the fourth Mrs. Donald Trump.

Rochdale regrets out vote, as Euromillions lottery to be phased out by 2017

2
Communities in Rochdale were reeling this morning as more news of impending financial doom hit the papers, and the pockets of hard working job...
Meat Pie

Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie

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Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

34
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...

Monster Raving Looney Party rejects Douglas Carswell for being TOO weird

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Having survived a terror attack last Thursday the British parliament has been delivered another shock with the news that the Official Monster Raving Loony...

Heseltine denies drowning kitten admits to strangling puppy

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Lord Sir Michael Heseltine of Sith has dismissed the outrage over his admitting to throttling a dog as "Hippy nonsense!" as animal lovers across...
Cat licking

Cat that will only eat one type of food still happy to lick its...

17
Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick...
Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap producers report record sales as schools prepare for new year

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As pupils prepare to merrily go back to school their parents are preparing for the big celebration. In recent years, parents have been edging ever-closer...

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