Kuenssberg

Laura Kuenssberg to train North Korean propaganda journalists

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Gajja Ileum, a journalist for the Korean Worker's Party, has travelled from Pyongyang to London for a 2 week intensive training course in State Propaganda with...

Remember the Wombles? Forgotten 70’s BBC stars found starving in hole in ground

0
In their 1970s heyday they topped the charts with popular sing-a-long anthems like "Remember You're a Womble" and "Wombling Merry Christmas." But after the hits...
Tardis

Parallel dimension parking ‘trickier than it looks’ says new Doctor Who

In a shocking confirmation of what arseholes up and down the country have been saying for hours, the new Doctor has fucked it already...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

6
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

0
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...

0
Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him. In an interview with...
sperm bank

Despite Brexit vote UK National Sperm Bank to close due to wanker shortage

12
Despite all evidence to the contrary the U.K. Is suffering from a profound wanker shortage after the National Sperm Bank recruited only seven wankers in two years.
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

0
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

4
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

0
Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This...
Fast Train

Getting from Leeds to Manchester 15 minutes quicker is top priority, says leader of...

The leader of a country full of hungry and homeless children has pledged to deploy all possible resources to shortening commuting times between Leeds...

Chequers agreement shreds itself

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Michel Barnier has revealed that the sole copy of the latest version of the Chequers agreement shredded itself in his office yesterday. "I popped out...

America relieved NYC bomber a terrorist and not a white guy

1
The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone...

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

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Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...

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