Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.

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X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening. To celebrate the new series we at...

Twats on train don’t know they’re twats

A large group of noisy twats on a train from London to Yorkshire are apparently unaware that they are all colossal twats. The group, who...
Adolf Hitler

Hitler “off his tits on smack” claims book

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A new book about Chaplin-tached proto-Trump, Adolf Hitler, has claimed that he and his fetishist cohorts were totally out of their shiny bonces on...

Three in critical condition after tragic scone miss-pronunciation attack

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Police have closed access to Battenburg street in Middleton today as the investigation into an altercation at the Middleton tea rooms has left three...

‘Child on hospital floor’ journalist joins the Rochdale Herald’s staff

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The Rochdale Herald is proud to announce the appointment of surely-ex-by-now Telegraph columnist Allison Pearson to our staff. "Our quest for people who can spout...

Fears for Rochdale black pudding supply as Bury announces plans to exit Lancashire free...

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Rochdale residents with a taste for black pudding were left fearing for the future as Bury announced plans to leave the Lancashire Economic Community....
Baby seal

Baby seals used in making of new £1 coin.

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The bank of England and Royal Mint announced today that the new pound coin that entered into circulation this week is made using the...

Gaucho steak restaurant chain latest to get burnt by borrowing to beef up returns

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Restaurant chain Gaucho, and its sister Cau, collapsed into administration this week, after it was steered into a series of financial mis-steaks Administrators have taken...

Britain’s first Dog Fighting arena to get go ahead in Rochdale

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The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a...

Nobody fancies Simon Danczuk – Rochdale Herald Poll reveals

In a shocking twist in the "Simon Danczuk pulled a 22 year old" scandal The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that is was all...
Corbyn

Corbyn defection massive blow to crybaby lefties

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Shock news reaching us today of defection of the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn has left the party in favour of Britain First. The shock...

There should be a free press like that Iranian TV channel I work for,...

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Jeremy Corby has announced plans to shake up the media and make it more sympathetic to him and the Labour Party going forward. The...

Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows

Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office. The news has been met with widespread concern by...

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Simon Danczuk

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It's been a fairly typical week for Rochdale's "MP" after he found himself at the centre of another embarrassing shit storm. In another in a...

Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop

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 In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...

Stephen Hawking hasn’t got a leg to stand on, says Jeremy Hunt

Health Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt has responded to Hawking's criticism of NHS reforms in a series of tweets, which are pompous even by Hunt's...

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