Experts agree that Josh Widdicombe is not bigger than Jesus
Theologists now agree that diminutive Josh Widdicombe is not the Second Coming of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Speculation had run rife that, having been born...
My kids weren’t vaccinated and the one who didn’t die is okay says anti-vaxxer
Tracy O'Daffy of Middleton is heading a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of vaccination throughout the Rochdale area.
Tracy has been a long...
FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal
The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...
Antarctical 50 signed, Bergxit means Bergxit
Today an area four times the size of London has broken away from the Antarctic landmass. It is a worrying example of rising sea...
People who use correct change ‘worse than Hitler’ study finds
People who pay for things using the exact change are "worse than Hitler, Stalin and Piers Morgan combined" according to new research.
The study, which...
Man who failed GCSE Science now a climate change expert
A man who failed GCSE Science has now declared that he is an expert in climate science and knows more than people who have...
ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.
A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet...
Austerity was just for giggles Government confirms
The Conservative government has confirmed today that austerity is over and it was just for giggles anyway.
The end to penny pinching has absolutely nothing...
Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996.
“Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He...
Samsung to rebrand Galaxy as the Supernova
Samsung made a shock announcement at the weekends major technology event, TERD (Technology, Electronics RochDale), which was held at the former site of The...
Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic
Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Losers celebrate election victory
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory.
“Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
New 2017 Celebrity Death Programming
In a surprise announcement today, the BBC revealed its strategy for recovering an audience lost by the betrayal of Paul Hollywood and his "Fakey Cakey...
