Stop being rebellious formerly rebellious Labour rebel tells rebellious Labour rebels

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The formerly rebellious Labour rebel, Jeremy Corbyn, has told rebellious Labour rebels to stop being rebellious or else.
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Musician

Man into ‘real music’ unveils plans to spend night sneering at Eurovision

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A 'real music' fan from Rochdale has revealed plans to spend tonight sneering loudly at the Eurovision song contest. Martin Williams 42, told the Herald "Even...

UK Benefits to be given to EVERY citizen of the Commonwealth due to admin...

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The government recently updated its IT infrastructure with shocking consequences potentially costing the UK economy billions. The glitch will see the 2.1 billion members of...

Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions

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Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

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A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...
Wetherspoons

Move classrooms into pubs, says government

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After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

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Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...
Doctor

Eating food causes cancer, says government scientist

This startling fact has now been scientifically proven and published in an official report. Restaurants will be forced to close after it was discovered...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

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Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

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Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

Rochdale man kicked off Great British Menu

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Local high fat enthusiast and walking cardiac arrest Wayne Bucket who inexplicably made it to the finals of Great British Menu, has been voted...

Chuka Umunna banned from Coventry Laser Quest for crashing children’s parties

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MP for Streatham, Chuka Umunna, has been forcibly removed from a branch of Laser Quest in Coventry for reportedly trying to join numerous children's...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

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The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...

David Blunkett confirms he’s still blind following driving test

The Rochdale Herald can exclusively confirm that David Blunkett is still blind. Mr Blunkett confirmed the findings of his most recent eye sight test...

Dianne Abbott’s ex-husband confirms she often gets headaches

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Dianne Abbott's ex-husband has put to bed rumours that Dianne was merely pulling a sicky to avoid casting her vote for Article 50 by...

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