‘Corporal punishment should be reinstated’ – people against Sharia law
A recent survey of lobotomised knuckle dragging fuck nuggets revealed that they are fighting against the values that they themselves hold most dear.
We caught...
Philip Hammond apologises to women on cabinet for making sexist comment at ‘wrong time...
Philip Hammond has today apologised for his insensitive remarks about women by buying them all a jolly nice big bar of chocolate and a...
ISAs claim responsibility for tax avoidance
ISAs have today claimed responsibility for millions of pounds of lost UK tax revenue
A Scottish widow looks moodily into the camera like she wants...
Racial profiling proves racist police guilty of racial profiling
Two Florida police officers have been found guilty of being racially prejudiced in a Facebook trial.
The damning evidence came when it was pointed...
Right wing extremist appears on Good Morning Britain to interview Tommy Robinson
Good Morning Britain producers made the controversial choice today of asking a divisive, opinionated, loud mouth to appear on their show. Piers Morgan was...
SNP Manifesto just bootleg copy of Braveheart and sheet of paper saying Referendums
The long awaited SNP manifesto is released today to huge anticipation.
Strong economy responsible for Sun coming up and tides says Theresa May
All things bright and beautiful are thanks to a strong economy, says Theresa May.
When asked why flowers are so lovely, she said this was...
British Fascists upset that UK Government won’t appease Foreign Fascist Dictator
A wealthy British Fascist today took to criticising the British Government for refusing to appease the United States' first elected authoritarian fascist dictator by appointing renowned fascist Nigel Farage as British Ambassador to the US.
Putin’s money was just resting in my account Trump tells James Comey
Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with...
British shipping businesses not optimistic enough about massive iceberg heading for Atlantic say Brexit...
The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put...
Wayne Rooney retires from International Football to spend more time with other people’s grandmas
Wayne Rooney has announced that he intends to spend more time with other peoples grandmothers after retiring from international football.
Rooney explained, "I've been all...
Don’t buy the Daily Mail on 31 August
It's the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana. Remember her, if you will. Pray for her and her family, if that's your...
Greggs announce Paris as post Brexit Euro trading base and name change to De...
Food supremo Greggs announced via a Rochdale Herald exclusive today that they have chosen Paris for their post Brexit trading headquarters and will soon...
More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur
Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today.
Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island
A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco.
Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...
