The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

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In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...
Christiano Ronaldo

Ronaldo vows to work the full six weeks to pay £13 million tax bill

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Many of us were shocked when top footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo was embroiled in tax evasion, especially to such a degree. The highly-regarded player, often hailed...
Power Station

Tories not free market enough for money grabbing Conn man

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Some people in the Conservative Party don’t have blind and unquestioning faith in dogmatic free market bullshit, a rich bloke who charges people extortionate...

Paul Golding’s Prison-a-thon raises £5,000 for The Refugee Council

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On an uncharacteristically serious note we'd like to thank each and every person who has donated or otherwise supported Paul's campaign for The Refugee Council.

Angels Pulverise Shrimpers… Again!

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Rochdale beat Southend United at football yesterday. The game was played over 90 minutes with a break in the middle. Rochdale managed to kick the...

Ann Widdecombe suspended over Strictly sex abuse claims

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Privy Councillor and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe has been suspended from the Conservative Party after shocking claims of historical abuse and inappropriate conduct...
Denis Skinner

Labour foreign policy just Dennis Skinner with a cricket bat

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Jeremy Corbyn's anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs. "He'll lie down and let anyone who wants to do...

Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons

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The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

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With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

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The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

World in shock as man with history of taking steroids runs faster than bloke...

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The World is in shock today after a bloke who has a well documented history of taking performance enhancing drugs ran a bit faster than a bloke who doesn't.

Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

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The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

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A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...

The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet

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For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.  Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...

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