Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Theresa May pledges to not remain silent on pee in swimming pools
Prime Minister Theresa May has pledged to not remain silent on the growing problem of pee in swimming pools highlighted in a shock report...
Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
On St David’s Day, everyone at the Rochdale Herald would like to wish our...
So "Popity Ping" to you all.
Have a daffodil
Michael Gove has to be gripped by the head with tweezers to be removed...
The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government.
"He has to be gripped...
Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another
Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another.
'I started...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Tommy Robinson announces plan to launch Ceefax page
Far right midget Tommy Robinson has announced plans to launch a Ceefax page following news that he has been banned from both Facebook and...
Roy Walker: he’s good, but he’s not right
Archivists who until recently worked for the TV production Carlton have uncovered a gag reel featuring Roy Walker's real responses to the utter dingbats...
Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs
Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them.
Father Frederick Seddon...
Entire Tory Party arrested in clampdown on middle class cocaine users
The Conservative Party is facing a huge crisis today after its entire membership was arrested during a clampdown on middle class cocaine users.
PC Drug-Bust...
Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato
The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Man puts bins out
Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out.
Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
Pooh denies grooming allegations
Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him.
The bear, who was linked to a series of...
It’s not nepotism it’s just a coincidence he’s my son-in-law says Trump
World breathes a collective sigh of relief as journalist who met Jared Kuschner claims “he should make you feel more comfortable”.
