Donald Trump costumes selling out faster than Kim Jong Un disguises this Halloween
Once again the time of year when all the ghouls and monsters come out to play is upon us.
But enough about the tete-a-tete...
Corbyn Calls for Alton Towers to be Nationalised as Queues for Rollercoaster hits 2...
Waiting for hours for the hope of a seat, crushed up against other in the park, or crouched uncomfortably in the queues is an...
High Court allows Royal Prerogative to execute Daily Mail editor for treason
In a bold move the UK judiciary has ruled to suspend Parliamentary Sovereignty to allow the UK Government to use the Royal Prerogative to round up and chop the heads off the editors of The Daily Mail, The Daily Express and The Sun.
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail
A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.
Colin Nigelsson, a...
May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...
The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...
Scientists discover creature smaller than Theresa May’s credibility.
Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing.
This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists...
No binary education says May
Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded new education reforms by telling us that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag
Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Night tube wonderful, say apprentice journalists through gritted teeth
Scores of young, underpaid trainee journalists have been drowsily typing up their reviews of the night tube over the last two mornings as their...
BT and Sky TV will not allow Nuclear Winter Premiership break
Sky TV and BT TV have both announced that the current Premier League TV rights deal precludes top-tier football a break in the event...
La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’
La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...
Trump appoints Mark E Smith as musical ambassador to Europe. Uh.
US president Donald Trump has sent shockwaves through "tin pan ally" by appointing Fall front man and legendary curmudgeon Mark E Smith as his...
Bruce Forsyth’s inheritance to be shown on conveyor belt for family members to remember
If the children of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth wish to inherit his estate, they must remember the individual parts of it that they...
Nigel Farage announces he’s to quit politics to become UKIP leader
Nigel Farage has announced today he is planning to quit politics to become leader of UKIP, again.
Channel 4 reporter unearths shocking conditions in Santa’s workshop
In the short film to be aired later this week on Channel 4 News, elves were shown being threatened with dismissal after 'three strikes'...
