God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’
Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus.
Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Government to encourage more online petitions.
Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...
British businesses fat and lazy, says podgy bloke who does sweet FA for a...
Liam Fox, who was sacked from the previous government for being a dodgy sod, has said that British businesses are fat and lazy and...
Bert Outs Himself as Straight After “Living a Lie”
Actor and former Sesame Streeter Bert has broken one of the major taboos that surround acting by revealing that he is not gay.
Bert had...
Outrage as ban on Christmas turns out to be false
People across the country have expressed outrage in response to the revelation that a ban on Christmas has been revealed to be false.
An image...
Dropping out of University should be affordable for everyone says University dropout
Jeremy Corbyn will today lay out his manifesto pledge to make dropping out of university courses affordable for everyone.
He will tell supporters that, under...
Government launch ‘Kids for Britain’ scheme to encourage teenage pregnancy to replace migrant workers...
The Home Office is to launch an eye popping new initiative designed to compensate for the expected loss of Eastern European field workers as...
Government announces new mascot for Brexit Will of the People
Brexit Minister, David Davis, today announced the launch of a new campaign which aims to give Britain's exit from the European Union a more...
Diane Abbott confirmed as new host for next series of NumberWang!
Labour MP and maths whiz Diane Abbott has been confirmed today as the new host of NumberWang!, the daytime TV quiz show.
Speaking today from...
Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’
A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...
All contestants to win The Apprentice this year
The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...
Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”
UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black...
We need another meeting to discuss this meeting
The Rochdale Global Enterprises' operations and functions sub-committee concluded yesterday that a further meeting was needed before its next meeting on Tuesday week.
The RGEOFSC...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe
An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary.
"Our...
British man understands American football
A man from Newquay in Cornwall has revealed that he actually understands American football.
With the BBC proclaiming that the Monday after the Hyperbole, or...
