David Davis and Liam Fox successfully negotiate paying full price for DFS sofa
Liam Fox and David Davis have been telling reporters how they were able to utilise their formidable negotiating skills to buy a new sofa...
Khan To Rebuild Wall
Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
Tory superbug found in pigs
A variant of the antibiotic-resistant superbug MRSA normally found in old Etonians and Conservative Party politicians has found its way into the nation's...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
Mrs Brown’s Boys accused of hiding all their funny jokes in offshore accounts
Following recent reports that members of the cast of inexplicably popular BBC "comedy" Mrs Brown's Boys have funds stored in offshore tax havens, The...
Bank Holiday Not Fucking Long Enough Decide People
Bank Holidays are not long enough according to a multi-pound survey commissioned by The Rochdale Herald.
"It's 2016 for Christ's sake! Normal weekends should be...
Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...
JK Rowling Announces New Harry Potter Book
In a move sure to delight her legion of fans, JK Rowling has let slip to the World a new book in the series.
Teresa May in Dogging Scandal
This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Mary Berry to retire from television
With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Paul Nuttall denies lying about surviving the sinking of the Titanic
UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April...
Tax efficient billionaires back plans to close tax loopholes for window washers and cleaners
The Taylor Review into modern working practices this week revealed an alarming tax loophole that is robbing the honest British taxpayer of billions in...
Clive Dunn in Nazi uniform outrage
Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform.
The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and...
Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey
Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position
As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.
So we...
