Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall

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Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...

NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism

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The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
Chris Grayling

Chris Grayling wins Turner Prize for dystopian work “Railway Timetable in May”

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The Turner Prize committee has announced that this year's prize will be awarded to Chris Grayling for his dystopian work, "Railway Timetable in May". A...
Plain wooden coffin

Rochdale man takes own life after using the word “Stat”

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Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the...

EU to offer May reproduction of Munch’s The Scream to hang in 10 Downing...

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The woman who believes she is British Prime Minister is to travel to Florence tomorrow to give a one date stand up performance in...

Brownlee Brothers win World Three Legged Race Championship

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British superstars Jonny and Alister Brownlee were today crowned world 3 legged triathlon race champions in a nail biting finish in Mexico. Although crossing the...
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

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New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...
Forcados

Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull

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A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...

Nigel Farage kicked out ‘Rochdale’s most Brexity pub’ for foreign sounding name

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The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer...
Westminster

Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government

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The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...

Britain First Dates

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After the success of its restaurant based dating show, Channel 4 are set to do a one-off Xmas special to coincide with Paul Golding...

Terror in the skies Part 2

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The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
Mrs Brown's Boys

Mrs Brown’s Boys accused of hiding all their funny jokes in offshore accounts

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Following recent reports that members of the cast of inexplicably popular BBC "comedy" Mrs Brown's Boys have funds stored in offshore tax havens, The...

Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet

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Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.  It comes after a series...

Rochdale wall of fame no longer just a pipe dream

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After years of negotiations and any number of setbacks the much-anticipated wall of fame to celebrate our most cherished home-grown talents could soon be...

Rochdale Christmas light turn on will be a Britain First

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This year's celebrity flicker of Rochdale's Christmas light will be none other than high flying anti-Muslim racist bigots and all round general socialites, Paul...

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