British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet
Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...
Restaurants that don’t use proper plates just twats, says everyone
The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm...
Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations
The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...
Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims
There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...
Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff
The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
Fillies to continue racing as outbreak confirmed as equine equivalent of ‘man flu’.
Initial reports that all racing in the U.K. was to be suspended have proved to be unfounded after vets have confirmed that the outbreak...
LABOUR TAX BOMBSHELL TAX TAX BOMBSHELL TAX LABOUR TAX TAX BOMB TAX!!!!!
The entire media demanded that Labour provide a triplicated cost analysis today after it was announced that Jeremy Corbyn might be planning to put...
Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats
Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig.
It is estimated that,...
Parliament summoned for cross party reshuffle
An emergency cross party parliamentary meeting has been organised for 1:00pm today to try and resolve our broken political system.
With the Tories fighting each...
Rochdale Herald distances itself from Rochdale Herald Online question whether Daily Mail Editor Paul...
We are aware this may make us appear terribly foolish. The Rochdale Herald Editor, the late Quentin D Fortesqueue, is seething about the lack of...
Brexit means famine, disease and war confirms Theresa May
A rowdy press conference found our embattled Prime Monster under pressure once again. Finally revealing the true meaning of Brexit as famine, disease and war,...
Labour tops FB polls as Conservative voters are busy working for a living
Labour tops Facebook election polls up and down the country as all the Conservative voters are too busy out working for a living to participate...
Venus Williams says most recent car insurance quote inspired her Wimbledon run
Venus Williams has revealed that she was inspired to her Wimbledon final appearance by her most recent car insurance quote.
Speaking after finishing runner up,...
Homeless man with hypothermia grateful that Facebook users are thinking about him
David Wild, a 36 year old homeless man takes a sip of hot tea in the cafe we meet in. His hands are just...
House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans.
Female Russian athletes call 2018 Winter Olympics ban ‘a real kick in the nuts’
The Russian Olympic Committee has reacted angrily to its ban from next year's Winter Olympics in South Korea, with female athletes in particular calling...
