Nigel Farage launches the Nigel Farage Party

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Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

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Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...

Top Fake News Reporter Newt Hump Admits “I Haven’t Been Making It Up”

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Newt Hump, one of the World's foremost "Fake News" journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn't been making it up. "I never intended it" he...

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

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It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.

Eric Bristow checks out aged 20 double top

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Eric Bristow, the world's oldest ever darts player, was at the Premier League Darts event at Liverpool's Echo Arena when he checked out aged...

Spacey “to seek treatment” for being horny 20 years ago and coincidentally gay

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The publicist for Kevin Spacey has announced that the Oscar-winning actor is seeking treatment, as reports emerged that another young man had nothing happen...
Scientist

Scientists warn firing Formula 1 grid girls will lead to increase in race related...

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Science - In a leaked Sport England research paper, several sports scientists have warned over the removal of the usual checks and balances deployed...

Poll proves delivering comedy through a voice synth makes it quarter of a million...

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A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer. The vote...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

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Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

Telegraph journalist executes her integrity with call to murder politician

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Sane people all over the country were horrified, but largely unsurprised, that right-wing publication the Daily Telegraph had called for a political leader...

Nick Clegg announced to appear on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here

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After being metaphorically bludgeoned to death by his electorate, former MP and Liberal Democrats leader Nick Clegg has left politics with his reputation in...
Marine Le Pen

Le Pen assures voters that despite National Front name change they are still massive...

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In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine...

Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal

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Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
Corbyn

Corbyn defection massive blow to crybaby lefties

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Shock news reaching us today of defection of the Labour leader and terrorist sympathiser Jeremy Corbyn has left the party in favour of Britain First. The shock...

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

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The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...

Angry Bake Off viewers demand Noel Fielding ‘get back in the effing fridge’

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Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics. Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of...

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