Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

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In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry...

Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week

27
Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced. The officers, obese men dressed in...

Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document

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Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Tim Farron

Labour urge supporters to vote Conservative to keep Liberal Democrats out of Power

The Labour Party general election campaign is said to be in tatters today following the release of the Liberal Democrat's Manifesto in the last...

Barnier threatens UK leaflet drop to explain Brexit dangers Davis predicts boom days for...

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EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier Monday warned that Brussels could take the unusual step of dropping leaflets explaining the dangers of the UK leaving...

Make America Great Again

We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...

Linkin Park’s poignant question answered

The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and people might not like the answer. According to scientists, who have been...

May announces textile regeneration scheme for the Northern Powerhouse

As the race for the Tory Party Leadership heats up, Teresa May has today announced transformative economic reform plans for the Northern Powerhouse. The ambitious...
Tory

NHS Commodore 64 hacked with ‘ransom cassette’

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The NHS is in a state of crisis after its computer was hacked earlier today. Patients requiring emergency care are being re-routed to different hospitals around...

1 billion Yahoo users ‘not arsed’ about forgotten Yahoo accounts being hacked

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Ancient search engine and former email provider, Yahoo, has admitted that 1 billion of its users security has been breached. Yahoo, which was once a...
KFC

Kentucky Fried Chicken unaffected by chicken shortage, thousands of cats reported missing

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KFC has opened more of its outlets in the UK despite running completely out of chicken.

Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all

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Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

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A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

Man who describes himself as an Alpha Male actually a massive wanker

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Research undertaken at the Smallbridge Campus of the University of Manchester in Rochdale has concluded that people that refer to themselves as Alpha Males...
Dinner party group

Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver

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A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming, has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...
Sad Man

Record complaints at Ofcom as latest episode of ‘Tits and Swords’ contains no tits

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Switchboards at UK TV regulators Ofcom were jammed last night after the eagerly anticipated first episode of the new series of Game of Thrones...

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