Exclusive! Keith Richards talks about 2016
A bright New Year's Day and I am sitting in the fashionable Chelsea bistro 'Hereafter' waiting for Keef, as I know him, to arrive.
Amazingly,...
Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough
‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better
Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.
Scientists prove dementia risk reduced by not reading The Sun
Scientists at the Rochdale Institute for Cerebral Health have released the results of a long running study into dementia and how not reading The...
Pippa’s lovely bottom gets married
Pippa Middleton's lovely bottom has today got married. The bottom shot to fame in 2011 when it turned up at Prince William's wedding and stole...
John Inverdale to host ‘Dog Toy or Sex Toy’ at Wimbledon this year
The BBC have announced that John Inverdale will present a dog toy or sextoy game during rain delays at this year's Wimbledon championships.
The move comes...
STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
RBS announces plan to rebrand as The Money Pit
The Royal Bank of Scotland has today announced losses of 7 billion pounds in the fiscal year of 2016.
The Bank has been running at...
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Boris Johnson shocked to discover British Empire no longer contains Canada
Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after...
Electric shock therapy recharges your batteries, says sadistic boss
The boss of a Rochdale mobile phone tech support company, Globally Integrated Mobile Phone Solutions, has been telling the Herald how electric shock therapy...
We just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody we don’t execute in the...
Politics - A leading light in the Momentum movement has told The Rochdale Herald that they just want a fairer, kinder society for everybody...
Nurses offered choice between 10% bonus or chance to kick Jeremy Hunt in the...
Three cheers to our beloved leader Mrs May for a delightful dilemma this Christmas.
We here at The Rochdale Herald recognise we are often so...
New Far Right Perfume Released.
In order to capitalise on the mood of the country at the moment, the ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage is to release a new perfume...
Stop proroguing, tidy your room, and wash that sock, rule UK’s few remaining grown...
After spending several weeks in his room, claiming to be "revising" legislation, the PM has finally been told to put his Johnson down. "Stop...
