Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot.
Current Work and...
Last PPI claimant found alive and well
The last person who is yet to be investigated whether or not they were mis-sold PPI has been found, bewildered, but alive.
After years of...
Jeremy Hunt to introduce Pay Per View Patient Records
NHS officials have confirmed reports that health minister Jeremy Hunt has been hacked.
"Since his initial appointment as health minister in 2012 we have been working on...
Actual grown up man wins race around France on child’s toy
An actual grown up man has won a really long race around France on a children's toy.
The Team Sky rider from Cardiff, Geraint Thomas,...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.
After...
eBay To Close Sundays
The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...
Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.'
The far left...
Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...
Former KGB thug Is UKIP leader’s hero
Diane James, former Transvision Vamp singer current UKIP führer, says Vladimir Putin is one of her political heroes.
Speaking on The Sunday Politics, the Dot...
Mecca Bingo rebrands as Bethlehem Number Snap
Britain's biggest bingo operator Mecca Bingo is to be rebranded "Bethlehem Number Snap" following pressure from right wing political groups a spokesman for Mecca's...
Tim Farron’s Andrew Neil interview cancelled for Bake off
Tim Farron has been left looking sheepish in his chair after Andrew Neil cancelled the Liberal Democrat leader's interview just moments into the opening statement.
Neil interrupted...
Remain support Nigel’s calls for 2nd EU Referendum
With around 1.5 million people and rising having signed a petition calling for a re-run of the referendum that decided the UK's membership of...
Southern Rail passengers treated for nausea after train unexpectedly moves
Reports from south London this afternoon state there was a dramatic and disturbing experience for dozens of Southern passengers when their train actually moved.
The...
Khan To Rebuild Wall
Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
Pope declares all good atheists can go to heaven
In a surprise ecumenical encyclical from the Vatican, Pope Francis has indicated that atheists could be allowed to pass through the Pearly Gates and...
