Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa
Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about...
Only 23 days to save historic Christmas Deal, warn turkeys
Turkeys have declared that today there are only 23 days to save their historic Christmas deal.
They have warned that is vitally important that the...
Winter Olympics: Billy Morgan carries EU flag instead of Union Jack at closing ceremony
Snowboarding bronze medallist Billy Morgan carried the EU flag instead of the Union Jack at the Winter Olympics closing ceremony on Sunday.
Morgan, 28, won...
5G spreads bullshit 10 times faster than 4G say experts
Some of Britain's top scientists have issued a stark warning ahead of the long-awaited rollout of 5G mobile networks across the country.
In an exclusive...
Owning an IKEA loyalty card doesn’t count as Swedish heritage, disappointed Scots told
Avid football fans across Scotland were left disappointed earlier today when it was confirmed that membership of IKEA's Family Card scheme does not count as Swedish heritage.
The news comes...
Theresa May outrages Japanese Prime Minister with deportation letter
British Prime Minister Theresa May has become embroiled in a diplomatic incident while visiting Japan after personally delivering a Home Office deportation letter to...
Young children advised to wash hands after licking floors, walls, windows, banister rails and...
Young children around the UK have been advised that the best way to stop the spread of Coronavirus is by thoroughly washing their hands...
Liam Fox signs first trade agreement with Mexican Cartel to import 1,000 tons of...
The Secretary of State for International Trade, Liam Fox, was thrilled to announce this week the first trade agreement for a post-Brexit Britain.
The historic...
Woman appalled by Alabama abortion laws ‘sort of aware’ of Northern Ireland
LLocal woman Mia Wombley has been telling everyone she knows about the horrendous new legislation in Alabama. Local senators, duelling their banjo strings, have...
Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal
In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal.
White,...
Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat.
Carl Isles, cycles the...
Man kills woman
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman
This article...
Fat Fighters launches gold leaf ‘Sin Free’ range
Fat Fighters has introduced a new range gold leaf coated products to help gullible fatties spend more money and lose even more weight. The company...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Before the ‘Iron Age’ everything was just creased, confirm anthropologists
A team of anthropologists and archaeologists from Rochdale Community College announced their exciting revelation about our ancestors on Thursday. They have confirmed that, before...
STD’s seek Brexit freedom of movement assurances
Several prominent sexually-transmitted infections have today sought assurances from the Government that Brexit will not have a negative impact on their European transmission rates.
In an...
