Rochdale worries as EU funding crisis hits Cornish supply chain

0
Mark Duddridge, chairman of the Cornwall and Isles of Scilly Local Enterprise Partnership, has said he wants a guarantee from the UK Government that the funds will keep coming, even after Brexit is complete. In...

Doctor Who goes back to Gallifrey after announcing ‘I give up’

0
The protector of earth with more faces than Big Ben made the announcement on The One Show on Friday. Reflecting on the past 50 year of helping our species, the Peter Capaldi look-a-like said; "I stopped World...

That God person is a pervert say parents of transgender kids

0
A primary school has become the center of a row when it taught religion to transgender pupils. St Andgreavsey's primary school faced a parents revolt after the largely transgender pupils were taught that...

Homeopaths to protest NHS cut with one person million man march

0
Homeopaths are to warn Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt that he faces severe blowback from them if he does not reverse the cut to homeopathic therapies on the NHS. Mrs Lorem Minima, a homeopath who has...

Gay sex not a sin if you keep your socks on says Tim Farron

9
Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said that while political leaders should stay out of such matters...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

0
It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

0
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was just a drag? Daylight hours where spent in bed underneath...
Spider

Boris Johnson bitten by radioactive spider, spider now a complete c*nt

0
A radioactive spider was rushed to the vets today after biting Boris Johnson and subsequently becoming a massive arsehole. Apparently after biting Mr Johnson the spider immediately fathered 2000 children with several lady spiders. It...

Saudi Women win right to be dumped by text

In a landmark ruling in Saudi Arabia women have finally won the right to be dumped by text message. The victory follows the incredible shift in policy in the kingdom that has finally allowed women...
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the Herald, "The trick with the dagos is to SPEAK LOUDLY...

Nigel Farage leaves LBC for remake of Howards’ Way; Nigels’ Way

0
Nigel Farage has left LBC and got a job on a new remake of Howards' Way called, Nigels' Way. Producer Bill Board told us, "Nigel plays Nigel, a man who has experienced 2 redundancies in...

Corbyn appoints Rochdale local musician Adnan Khan Shadow Culture Secretary

0
After a turbulent day for Jeremy Corbyn, things could be looking up as he adds a Rochdale superstar to his new cabinet.Rochdale's answer to Dappy from Ndubz, Adnan Khan is rumoured to be the...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

0
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and he is in fact the opposition. Mr Corbyn appeared after definitely...
Piers Morgan

Petition for Piers Morgan to self isolate reaches 16.14m signatures

0
A petition for Piers Morgan to self isolate has reached 16.14 million signatures. The petition, which has recieved support from across the world, has nothing to do with Coronavirus or Covid19. People just need a break...
Businessman

Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator

1
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a bit stupid, like 'Banana means Banana', but at last the...

Hollywood shocked as no Fast & Furious movie released this week after star’s arrest

0
Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a movie scheduled for release this week. Fast and Furious 167 (Barnsley...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts