Petition to stop The Simpsons writing ‘Katie Hopkins becoming PrimeMinister’ episode reaches 65 million...

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Creator of The Simpsons, Matt Groening, announced in an interview last week that he was planning an episode  in which human bile balloon, Katie...

BBC at a loss to explain low ratings for “Bantmeister” Grimshaw

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BBC bosses are completely at a loss to explain why Nick Grimshaw's BBC Radio 1 breakfast show has suffered its biggest drop in ratings...
homeopath

Leading Homeopath Accidentally Says Something Sensible

Writing in the lifestyle magazine 'It's A Gullible Life' Dr Pie d'Piper (currently The British Homeopathic Amalgam's Integrative Dissimulation Spokesbeing) responded to the news...

Government To Implement National Treasure Preservation Scheme

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Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends...
Tree lined street

Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose

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It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to...

Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population

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The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Clown

Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs

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Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in...
Angry People

Rochdale Herald distances itself from Rochdale Herald Online question whether Daily Mail Editor Paul...

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We are aware this may make us appear terribly foolish. The Rochdale Herald Editor, the late Quentin D Fortesqueue, is seething about the lack of...
Magic Mushroom

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

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Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...

Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again

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People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago. Stan...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

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Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...
Border Collie Sunglasses

Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister

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Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

United Airlines passengers have it easy, complain Ryanair passengers

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Following reports of a United Airlines passenger being violently removed from an overbooked flight on Sunday, angry Ryanair passengers have demanded to know why...
Mark Garnier

What’s wrong with asking your secretary to buy you a dildo, asks complete dildo

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The king of Dildos and soon to be former International Trade Minister Mark Garnier is to investigated over a potential breach of the ministerial code after he admitted to asking a former parliamentary aide to buy him a dildo
Michael Gove

Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves

Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".

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