Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower.
Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Linkin Park’s poignant question answered
The question posed by Linkin Park all those years ago has been answered and
people might not like the answer.
According to scientists, who have been...
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Berlin enjoys best U2 gig in years as Bono loses his voice
It's being dubbed as the greatest U2 concert ever by people who bought tickets but can't work out why.
U2 played Berlin last night and...
Lib Dem election breakthrough as Tim Farron recognised in Tesco Express
The Liberal Democrats are said to be heartened by the progress they've made in this election campaign after reports that a member of the...
Bono reveals that a Lithuanian shopping centre was what he was looking for
U2 lead singer, Bono has announced that most of U2's songs are about his need to avoid tax.
Bono is alleged to have told the...
Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite
Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging...
Universal Tax Credit not as funny as reductive jokes about benefit cuts complain satirists
The National Union of Terrible Satirists, or NUTS, released a statement today complaining that it's almost impossible to make jokes about Universal Tax Credit because it's too bloody complicated.
FIFA rejects World Cup draw rigging allegations after Russia selected to play against Russia
FIFA have been forced to defend more allegations of corruption after the 2018 World Cup hosts, Russia, were selected to play against themselves in...
For Fuck’s Sake, sighs Britain
The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and...
Your NHS is safe with me, says man who can’t ride bike
Lord Sir Baron Richard Branson MBE OBE BFD has insisted that the hospitals he's taking over from the NHS are perfectly safe in his...
Littlest Hobo declared fit for work by ATOS
Everyone remembers getting a little teary to the Littlest Hobo, don’t they?
Each episode he’d make some friends and then leave, just as they were...
Experts confirm mulled wine is horrible, Britain rejoices
Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it.
Professor Frederick Seddon...
Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...
The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
Picture of Dorian Gray to replace Britain in future relationship with EU
It's thought the deeper thinking behind moving the picture to the front line of negotiations over the future relationship of Britain and the EU is as a result of the government discovering just how far up a creek they've rowed already.
Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate
The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...
