Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
Radiohead Gig Attracts Record Number Of Twats
Research has shown that the Old Trafford gig on July 4th by Radiohead attracted more wankers than any previous gig.
It is estimated that,...
Bus driver not a bastard
Commuters in Ormskirk were shocked today when a bus driver actually waited at a bus stop to allow a late arriving passenger to sprint...
Sign up to The Rochdale Herald Newsletter
The technical gods at The Rochdale Herald have built a very special daily newsletter that goes out every day at 5pm by email.
If you...
Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Team behind the May-Bot to try turning it off and back on again
The Project May-Bot team have announced that due to recent poor performance and unexpected features being noted, they are looking into resetting the May-Bot...
Joe Swanson elected leader of the Liberal Democrats
The popular ex-policeman is predicted to cause almost as many people to support the Lib Dems as the leaders of the Labour and Conservative...
Asda Self-service checkout till beats Boris Johnson at Scrabble
Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.
Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting...
Raheem Sterling to start giving guided tours of his tattoo’s
England footballer, Raheem Sterling has said he's going to start offering tours of his tattoos. Sterling made the announcement when he met members of...
Murder she wrote woman not dead
Everyone lost their shit this week when a rumour regarding the Bedknobs and Broomsticks (non-porno version) star appearing in Game of Thrones surfaced.
"Appearing as...
Rochdale Herald Editor Re-admitted to Hospital
Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek.
The jaded and cynical...
Nightmare for woman who cleans phone screen.
A woman who felt all was well in world and wasn't troubled by current media output was horrified to learn the truth today after...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Theresa May Reads A Christmas Carol Backwards To Give It A Happy Ending
It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and...
ISIS Claim Responsibility for Chimney Destruction in Kent
So called ISIS or Islamic State today sensationally claimed responsibility for the destruction of the the Grain Power Station Chimney in Kent.
In a Facebook...
Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal
Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
