Southern Rail strike to be delayed
A strike by Southern Rail drivers due on the 9th of January has now been put back until the 10th.
"We apologise for the late...
Nigel Farage makes surprise appearance at Rochdale circus
The audience at Rochdale's Junkie Bros Circus certainly got more than they bargained for last night when Farage entered the ring. In a bizarre...
David Davis reveals he’s accidentally been attending PTA meetings in Brussels and has no...
There were refreshing bursts of honesty in the ritual Brexit update today when David Davis revealed he’s only just worked out he’s been attending...
Government To Implement National Treasure Preservation Scheme
Downing Street has just announced that it intends to implement a ‘National Treasure’ preservation scheme, in a bid to avoid any further British legends...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Let’s Get Ready to TUMBLE!
Things just got real in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after those soft southern satirist impersonators at The Southend News Network went...
Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight
Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC.
Mr. Henry was the...
Being a tosser won’t stop you getting rich, scientist claims
Anders Farkenobbviarrs, head of research at the Norway Institute of Selfish Prick-like Behavior in Trondheim said “Loads of rich, successful people are total fuckers,...
Six year old girl fears poisoning after finding new food mixed into her food
Six year old Sally Parker, domestic overseer and student, has recoiled in horror fearing poisoning after the discovery of new food mixed into food...
Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs
Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in...
Woman chains herself up in bid to stop voting for the Conservatives
A mother is so desperate to stop voting for the Conservatives she has chained herself up in her room to prevent access to a...
Thousands Face Having to go to Work as RMT Calls for Driver Walk-In
Hundreds of thousands of rail passengers face actually going to work as the RMT told Southern Rail employees to actually do their jobs.
Staff will...
Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them
Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
Ryanair fires first salvo in airline price war by introducing “shrinkflation” routes
Budget Irish airline Ryanair has fired the first salvo in it's threatened "summer fares war", but instead of cutting fares as everyone expected, CEO...
