Southern Rail

Not getting to work with Southern Rail now 30% cheaper for 27 year olds

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26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30%...

Greater Manchester Police hire youngest ever Special Constable

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Greater Manchester Police have hired the youngest ever special Constable this week. James Cannings was sworn in by Chief Constable Rob Potts on Thursday. James...
Teletubbies

Christian Groups outraged as Multi-faith revamp of Teletubbies features NO Christian Character

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Rochdale's creative industry seemingly received a huge boost last week as local TV production firm, Hot Pot Productions, was awarded a £6 million BBC...

ISIS applies for FIFA membership

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The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.  In a surprise move, they hope to be...
British Homeopath

Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy

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Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy? Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home

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The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...
Riot Police

Anarchists admit riot police look pretty cool despite differences

2
Dave Vidual, Head Chair of the National Association of Anarchists, said yesterday in a shockingly frank admission that most anarchists, while diametrically opposed to...
Danczuk

Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or

18
Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

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Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Paul Nuttall resigns as Archbishop of Canterbury

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In a shock move Thursday Paul Nuttall, Member of the European Parliament for North West England EP and leader of the United Kingdom Independence...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

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Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

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Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...

Chris Evans to host new BBC bake off show

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Red headed billionaire Christopher Evans has been confirmed as the new host of the Beeb's brand new baking show designed to take the place...

Boris tweets ‘I’m safe’ after car crash interview

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Britain's comedy foreign secretary, Boris “The Bewildered” Johnson, is lucky to be alive and well, tweeting “I’m safe!” just moments after his disastrous interview...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

11
It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...

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