Nana

What are your plans for Christmas, ask Mums who have already planned everybody’s Christmas

A Rochdale Mum who has already meticulously planned her entire extended family’s Christmases has asked her children what they are planning to do on Christmas Day.  Office drone Steve Dickinson said: “We kind of knew...

New Carling advert just footage of Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home

A new advertising campaign for Carling beer will allegedly feature Wayne Rooney trying to remember driving home. The campaign has come in for criticism from an advertising agency who wanted to use Rooney to advertise...
Brexit Bus

Increased racism was on the other bus say Brexiteers

Brexiteers have been quick to point out that a post-Brexit vote increase in racism was on the other bus. Government clown Boris Johnson said, "This report is totally inaccurate and does a disservice to honest,...

Virgin customers asked to dig deep for pensioner’s destroyed home

Devastated pensioner Richard Branson, whose home was destroyed by Hurricane Irma, has been overwhelmed by Virgin product customers who have agreed to continue to pay over the odds for second rate services so that...
Kicked in the balls

London pints to come with free kick in knackers from 2019

Consumers concerned with the rising price of alcohol in the UK received a welcome boost today, as it was confirmed all boozers in the capital will offer a free kick in the knackers with...

May to offer Britain complete break from Boris Johnson

In a last ditch attempt to win the X Factor vote tonight,the PM today took the unusual but popular step to separate Boris Johnson from Britain. On some politics show she told some BBC presenter...

Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag

Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has been defeated in the Lords. The amendment would have required another...
Man thinking

Dad thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping

A Rochdale Dad has broken protocol by announcing that he has begun thinking about thinking about starting his Christmas shopping with more than a week to go till Christmas. Parenting authorities were called to an...

Boris Johnson discovers he’s won half a speedboat at Chequers

Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and David Davis have won half a speedboat at the Conservative Party away day at Chequers today. The trio were awarded their prize by Theresa May after they won the...
Calendar

Government Announces National Nothing Day.

From worthy issues such as International Women’s Day to cultural stereotypes like National Tea Day, it seems like every day is "something" Day. Just about anything you can imagine, there’s a day for it;...

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