National News

A Rochdale family who were due to fly with Ryanair to Alicante this week have had their flight cancelled. The family have told the Herald that contrary to what would be expected, they don't see...

After what critics are calling a feeble effort to tackle childhood obesity the government is now in hot water again as it transpired that cabinet meetings, after the recess, are to be sponsored...

Concerns are mounting over the welfare of a Rochdale man who is apparently missing from his Lancashire home. Steve Dickinson, 42 and a bit, was last heard by neighbours shouting at the Six O’clock News,...

The First Secretary of State, essentially Theresa May's deputy, is facing an investigation by his Mum into allegations that copies of the Conservative manifesto was found on a computer under his bed at home. Mrs...

The rises in the cost of posting your mum's birthday card using The Royal Mail have now come into effect. A first-class stamp will now cost you both legs below the knee and a second-class...

Buckingham Palace sources have told The Rochdale Herald that it is "pretty bloody unlikely" that the next Royal baby will be a ginger. They declined to go into any further detail other than to...

Long held tensions between Orthodox Vegans & followers of it's subsidiary Fruitarianism about which is the most ethical way of life finally came to a head in spectacular style this morning. Police were called to...

Leading women's clothing shop owners have said they stock clothes with inconsistent sizing to mess with women's heads. One leading shop owner said, "We deliberately make our clothes quite large. So a size 10 here...

Lancashire Fire Brigade have announced they're considering using the tears of remainers to put out the flames on the top of Saddleworth Moor. Fire Officer Asif Hose told us, "The fires have been blazing for...

A Rochdale Momentum member has told us that claims of anti-Semetism made by Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mervis are proof that there is a media conspiracy against the Labour Party. "In no way is there anti-Semetism...

Security has been increased at King Edward VII hospital, where it is believed her Majesty the Queen is currently undergoing treatment for an acute and sudden disorder. A source from inside the hospital told us...

Nathan Barley led calls today for clean shaven white twats to “take responsibility for their community.” “It is imperative, at this time of national crisis, for us to be clear that not all white twats...

Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost an election? 5. The Stalin: our leader can do no wrong,...

Like most of the country, the Herald woke up this morning to the news of a catastrophic tower block fire in West London. This has been accompanied by multiple fatalities. It does not look...

President Baxter of the Dogs has today issued an ultimatum and warning to his Cat counterpart, Beloved Leader Felix, over the rising tension in back yards across the globe. "What Mr Felix fails to recognise...

6 month old Tommy Leadbetter from Romford has spoken exclusively to The Rochdale Herald about how he manages his toilet regime. "First I was like ooh, I poo then you change my nappy, it's...